(ThyBlackMan.com) Greeting Gents,
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. I’m really glad we are having the opportunity to sit down and build. You don’t know how much these conversations mean to me. Sharing my life and perspectives with you is therapeutic for me. Honestly, I may benefit more from these conversations than you do. I thank you for listening and I am eternally grateful. Now! On to the reason we have assembled this evening. I wasn’t going to write about this because I am slick embarrassed, however I realized that this is a teachable moment. And Regardless to how embarrassed I am the lesson needs to be shared.
I bought a frozen pizza because I honestly did not feel like cooking and I am trying my hardest to stay away from fast food. At any rate, I bought the pizza right. Took it home and put it in the oven. I started writing and listening to music and completely forgot about the pizza. It wasn’t until I smelled it burning that I remembered it. Man, I burnt a frozen pizza. Not just a little burnt. I’m talking black on both sides burnt. As someone that prides himself on his culinary abilities; I was in disbelief that I burnt this pizza. I was legitimately embarrassed by it. The kicker is I still had to it. I’m not one that really keeps grocery in his apartment. I live on the 3rd floor and carrying all those bags up the stairs don’t sit well with me. To mask the taste, I used ranch and hot sauce. In the end it wasn’t that bad…. I’m lying. It was horrible, however the ranch and hotsauce did help some. I initially was going to write about making the best out of a bad situation, however while writing this article another thought came to my head, the paralyzing effects of embarrassment.
I’m sure you’ve never really thought about embarrassment being paralyzing, however if you take some time and think about it; embarrassment has prevented you from doing something you really wanted to do; whether your embarrassment about your clothes prevent you from approaching the woman you want or if you’re like me. Embarrassment caused me to separate myself from my friends.
The particular instance I’m referencing took place approximately four years ago. I was working for a company as a HR generalist. I was making decent money. I could pay my bills and afford some leisure every once in a while. One night I went out with a group of friends from college to this upscale lounge. We had a nice time, drinks were flying, women were around. Just a good time with good people. The bill came and my card declined. I was so embarrassed. Of course, my friends cracked jokes because that’s the type of relationship we have. We crack jokes on another. All in harmless fun. They paid my bill and we left. The embarrassment of that moment was so insurmountable that I distanced myself from them. I felt I wasn’t good enough to be around them. This greatly impacted my confidence. Fortunately, I was able to earn a promotion a few months after that which came with more money, so I didn’t distance myself for too long, however those months that I was distant were some of the roughest of my life.
What I learned from that experience was if there is something that I was embarrassed by it would affect my confidence. The best thing to do in those situations is to fix that thing that embarrasses me. This is called self-care. Self-care is a secret that most of us are unaware of, however it is essential to leading great lives. Moral of the story: if there is something you do not particularly like about yourself; change it bro. You’re the only you that you have so make sure you’re taking care of you.
#ImHereToHelp
