(ThyBlackMan.com) Earlier this month a tweet by user PrinceCharmingP featured a video showing Maya Angelou correcting a young woman who called her “Maya” before asking a question. This sparked discussion about how Angelou was “doing too much” in correcting her etiquette. Hell, some users even said the exchange would’ve turned ugly if it were them.
The Video in Question
This video is an old one from 1990. The celebrated author was taking questions from those in attendance and the question asked was about interracial relationships. However, before the young woman could actually get into her question, she was cut off and corrected.
Angelou went into detail about how her life up until that point earned her at least a degree of respect to warrant a title before her name. Later on, Maya Angelou apologizes for putting the young woman on the spot and the young woman correctly addresses her.
A Matter of Respect
The larger conversation had was about a perceived lack of respect and upbringing from the two younger generations—Millennials and Gen Z—and how people are addressed. In the early rumblings of the conversation, something looked over was that the video was from 1990. The young woman in the video would’ve been a Gen Xer. This isn’t to say Gen Xers are uncouth savages who call people by their first name and while taking a Snapple to the head but the discussion was being held as if it just happened.
I was born in the first half of the 1980s and respect was something taught by the two generations prior: our parents, grandparents, and miscellaneous relatives—”cousins and them.” Any adult was a “ma’am” or “sir” while your peers—other kids—got called by their names or nicknames. When you get older, co-workers or older peers in a setting could be called by their names while your superiors, seniors, teachers, etc were addressed accordingly.
Then you have many of us who call everyone older “Mr.” and “Ms.” even when we’ve achieved a title in our fields or a higher position in our jobs. This is how it is—for a certain part of our generation and back. There are those in this younger generation who adhere to that as well but for most in my end of my generation, it’s still what it is.
The thing is, having a title doesn’t automatically mean that you’re going to be addressed by said title. Having a phonebook of achievements don’t mean they’re going to be acknowledged. Sure, it’s to be expected but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Maybe your junior doesn’t care or doesn’t know.
Or your junior is like the young woman in the video. She cares about etiquette and definitely knows who Maya Angelou is but was probably just nervous to finally ask her a question and it slipped her mind in that moment. It happens. This wasn’t someone who felt they were on the same level as Angelou. She probably had that question rolling around while listening to Angelou take other questions and went right into it when she got the opportunity.
Maya Angelou’s Response
I’m someone who adheres to my seniors and superiors being addressed properly. I wouldn’t dropkick a younger person for failing to do so in casual or professional conversation in relation to me. Then again, in conversation I can be pretty lax with my language but that’s depending on the company I’m in. Mastering speaking to different generations and kinds of company is a skill.
As a matter of fact, it’s one that we’ve all used to some degree. Whether it’s taking the bass out of your voice and dropping all of the ma’am’s, sir’s, officer’s, shooting the sh** with the boys or hanging with the girls, or talking to grandpa and mama, we navigate through different etiquette depending on who is in front of us and our relationship with them.
Angelou’s response to the young woman can be seen as going too far or doing too much but it’s what I’d expect from someone from an older generation who has seen things and is in the literature field. She was a wordsmith and mastered that in both print and voice.
Angelou also showed respect by apologizing. Not only that but she apologized in public after checking her in public. Her response—as heavy-handed as some believe—could’ve been worse. At least she didn’t cut the woman off and tell her that she “wasn’t one of your little funky friends.”
Staff Writer; M. Swift
This talented writer is also a podcast host, and comic book fan who loves all things old school. One may also find him on Twitter at; metalswift.