(ThyBlackMan.com) Imagine you live life as best as you can. You are benefiting from the hard work and sacrifices made to have the life you live. You stayed out of trouble, finished school, and though you are not perfect you do all you can to be responsible for your actions. You pay your taxes, go to work everyday and even try to give back to the community when you can. Every time you look up a black person is being killed in the streets by the police you pay taxes to serve your community. You know you have to walk a fine line at work, and only God knows how many higher up insults you have swallowed because the rent has to be paid. When you get in your car you see the ugly looks every know and then from white people that communicates to you no negro should be driving your car. And there is absolutely no words for the terror you feel when you look in the rear view mirror and see a police car.
You find yourself double checking everything to make sure you have broken no laws, and even when you are clear you are praying to God those lights don’t flash behind you. Sometimes the fear is so gripping you have to pull over. Sometimes all you want to do is go home and lock your doors. To be on the property is not good enough, because you remember reading about the black man shot in his grandmothers back yard. You need to in the house with the doors locked, and finally in this space you can breathe in the peace that is the safety of your home.
For a Dallas resident that peace was shattered as he was killed in his home by an off-duty police officer. In the moment it took for this story to go viral another fear set in that we must come to terms with. There s no peace for us…not even in our own home. A white woman, that is police officer, told the story that she thought she was at her apartment. Upon realizing her key didn’t work one can only wonder why she didn’t look at the apartment number on the door or realize somehow this was not her residence.
Furthermore, what made her shoot the black man living there? Why didn’t she call 911 to get an ambulance for this brother? Instead she called for backup, but for what? There is so much that makes no sense, but another black man is dead at the hands of a police officer.
We live with the fear of knowing we can lose our life in this country at any given moment for something we can not control…the color of our skin. We are seen as less than human, and predators simply because we are black. Where can we find peace? Where can we feel safe? Crimes such as this remove the sanctity one should feel in their own home. Let it set in…as far as we know a brother as killed just chilling at the house. How do we wrap our mind around that?
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.
I feel the greatest fear when I’m talking to my fellow black brothas or sistas about these police shooting incidents and without hesitation, they look you right in your eyes and say, “well, I’m in a gray area about that.” It’s almost as if we have created this fantastical existence under the yolk of racism/white supremacy, despite evidence to the contrary. I’m in the process of working in predominately white areas in the Northwest region of Indiana, and I can’t count the number of times I have felt fear or highly scrutinized for being in these areas. Hell, I’ve even serviced a few homes where confederate flags were waving proudly but the people there were very hospitable and nice. However, my awareness of racism/white supremacy being omnipresent and systemic will not allow me to let my guard down because of a few benevolent gestures made.