Why Are So Many Youth Committing Bullycide?

It is important to note that youth who are bullied live in a constant state of fear and confusion. Many feel as though they have no way to escape the insults, verbal abuse, terror, and rumors without committing suicide. Imagine being victim of bullying by an authority figure such as a parent, teacher, coach, or other adult. Think about being the victim of bullying with no friends to rely on for support or encouragement while being bullied on a regular basis. It is difficult for most adults to undergo constant physical and emotional bullying or experiencing constant physical and emotional pain.

While it is easy to tell a child to stand up for themselves or to be strong, when undergoing such emotional, mental, and physical trauma, it is much easier to utter these words than to actually follow through with the actions. Statistically speaking, 90% percent of students in grades 4th – 8th report being bullied at some point in their life.

Approximately 2.1 million bullies with 2.7 million victims are currently estimated to be enrolled in school here in the United States of America. It is estimated that one in seven students in American schools are either a bully or a victim of bullying and more than 280,000 students are physically attacked in high school settings each month. About 85% of bullying is ignored by teachers and administration and approximately 160,000 students miss school each day out of fear that they will be bullied or attacked according to BullyingStatistics.org.

So what can you do as a parent to prevent or stop bullycide?

1. Do not encourage your child(ren) to be “strong” as a means to cope emotionally and mentally. At times we trick ourselves into believing that shutting down emotionally is a way to deal with our pain and sorrow. We do not allow ourselves to fully express our hurt and how it is making us feel. Very few people have someone they feel comfortable crying out to when they feel hurt and believe it or not, many children feel this way as well. Just because they “you’re strong” pep talks worked for you, doesn’t mean it will work for your child. Just because you are a firecracker and will stand your ground, does not mean your child will also. Do what is necessary for your child individually.

2. Do not encourage your child(ren) to “stand up” or “fight back” knowing they lack the skills and confidence to defend themselves. Many parents were raised on “if someone hits you, hit them back”. Interestingly, few adults actually know how to defend themselves physically in the face of an altercation. Confidence is often lost when someone is being bullied and that often shows when a child is forced to stand up to someone who might actually hurt them.

3. Intercede as much as you can on behalf of the one being bullied. Do not force or allow them to stand alone. Schedule meetings with teachers and school administration to discuss bullying within the school. If it is happening to your child, it is also happening to other children in the school and these incidents must be brought into the light. Show your children that you are willing to fight on their behalf on a daily basis if necessary. Never give your child a moment to feel alone and unsupported. Sometimes we want to step back and allow them to handle the situation themselves, however the younger generation seems to value suicide as a means to escape temporary life problems. Get as much help as necessary!

4. If you have ever been bullied, share your stories with your child. In my opinion, we have all been bullied at some point in life. Whether if this bullying came through an encounter with an authority figure such as a teacher, police officer, judge, manager/supervisor, or even during our childhood years.

Encourage open communication on a regular basis to help prevent your child from becoming a victim of bullying. Bullies often target children and teens who are loners or do not have many friends because they are easier targets. Bullying is difficult to detect until after a problem has occurred. Many schools are cracking down on bullying to ensure their students do not become bullies or victims of bullying, however, parents are still the first line of defense when it comes to protecting their child against bullying and bullycide.