(ThyBlackMan.com) What does Lil’ Kim and countless black women like her have in common? They are what you call side chicks-women that married or involved men have relationships with. A ThyBlackMan staff writer by the name of Chelle St, James put it most honestly in her piece called Side Chicks Be Embarassed. Side chicks shouldn’t be praised or celebrated they are single, lonely, and needy females.
Here are 10 reasons black women do not benefit being a side chick:
1. Everything that man says about his girlfriend or wife that’s negative is HERESAY: Unless you know the dynamics of that man’s marriage or relationship your best move is to STAY OUT of it. Women who get involved with men who are involved or married begin to function like a therapist when there are three sides his side, her side, and the truth. Side chicks only see one side of the situation and assume the girlfriend or wife isnt doing enough for her man when she’s buying into that lie being told to her about someone she doesn’t even know. Side chicks don’t really see the real side of that involved/married man’s life and that the men they fool with are with some really good and decent women.
2. Most involved/married men do not leave their girlfriends/wives for the side chick: This is the biggest one that black women need to pay close attention to and that is you’re wasting not only your breath, but your time as well trying to convince an involved man to leave his girlfriend/wife when you’re nothing significant to him anyway except a piece of ass. If that attached man you’re with is telling you he’s going to leave his girlfriend or wife for you it’s a lie he’s not going anywhere. Men RARELY leave their girlfriends and wives for other women.
3. Side chicks serve NO purpose to an involved/married man: You have no real role in that involved /married man’s life except to be a distraction to this man and the life he has with his girlfriend or wife. You think your purpose is to show that involved/married man that you’re better than his girlfriend/wife…..if thats the case you’re not being real with yourself.
4. Put yourself in an involved/married man’s girlfriend/wife’s shoes: Imagine what it would feel like to be cheated on and having someone come in and destroy your relationship or marriage you would be hurt and angry. Put yourself in the girlfriend or wife’s position having to deal with the mental and emotional damage that affairs cause.
5. The no-burden/NSA (No strings attached) sex is a LIE!!!!!!!!!!: A good majority of women who get involved with men who are involved/married develop feelings and will keep telling themselves that they want to be with them when the reality is already staring them in the face that he’s not leaving his wife or girlfriend for you. Word to the wise don’t catch feelings for someone who will never be yours.
6. You’re being lied to: If that involved/married man is lying to his girlfriend/wife what makes you think he’s not lying to you as well. You hear about how the man is so honest with the side chick when in fact he’s lying every time he is with the side chick. So the honesty factor has gone way down in terms of what a side chick is hearing and she’s also lying to herself if she’s believing that he’s going to leave his girlfriend or wife.
7. Your involvement with an involved/married man goes way beyond sexual: You see articles talking about side chicks only doing it for the perks that the girlfriend or wife get when they get emotionally and physically invested with an involved/married man. This comes into how a lot of side chicks waste years of their lives with a man who has NO intentions of being with them. You have involved/married men who regret cheating on their girlfriends and wives because they let some single, lonely, and desperate woman convince them they are better than the girlfriend or wife.
8. You’re sentencing yourself to a life of nights and days alone: Involved/married men are too busy with the lives they have with their girlfriends and wives to think about you. You’re not even on his mind 99.9% of the time. Side chicks want to demand the involved/married man’s time when his time is preoccupied with his wife or girlfriend so get used to your calls and texts going unanswered and sporadic calls that over time start to decrease. Is this what you really signed up for when you choose to fool around with men who are involved or married?
9. Calling/texting the girlfriend/wife to tell her about her man cheating: One crucial mistake side chicks make is calling/texting that involved/married man’s girlfriend or wife to inform her that her man is cheating with her. You not only created a problem for that man by contacting his girlfriend or wife you set of a major firestorm for yourself by creating drama.
10. Not knowing when to leave that involved/married man alone and move on: Some women who get too invested with an involved/married man have a hard time knowing when it’s time to leave him alone and move on. Some of these side chicks get angry if the man decides he does not want to deal with her anymore and chooses to end things if he’s working it out with his wife or girlfriend or just does not want to continue being bothered with that woman.
There’s that old saying when it comes to women having affairs with involved/married men and that is “how you got him is how you lose him” and that rings true because if that man cheated on his wife or girlfriend with you he’ll cheat on you-the side chick as well. SIde chicks need to stop trying to pain this picture of absolute bliss bragging about how they’re proud of being a side chick when being someone’s second choice is nothing to be proud of. There’s nothing honorable about sleeping with someone’s husband or boyfriend when there’s enough good quality men out there who are single and available.
The answer is simple there should be no side anything if you can’t be the ONLY woman in that man’s life. Ladies if you’re actively pursuing or dating a man who YOU know has a girlfriend or wife…….STOP. That married/involved man can’t do anything for you he’s got a wife or girlfriend and if he’s having problems you need to stay out of it. Side chicks don’t know that a wife or girlfriend carries more weight than they realize. Not to mention while the wife/girlfriend are eating steak you’re scrambling for leftover crumbs. A woman who respects and loves herself would never lower herself to desire another woman’s husband or boyfriend.
Staff Writer; Nafeesah Abdullah