(ThyBlackMan.com) Before anyone reaches for a pain reliever, note that the word love is in quotation marks, which gives readers an intuitive clue of what this commentary is really about. Now on to the count-down!
11. Famous and Devoted Loyalists: Stars who support Trump, reads like a Who’s Who of D-List Celebrities, including Apprentice alum Omarosa Manigault, and former sports icons Mike Tyson, Terrell Owens, Dennis Rodman and Herschel Walker. There you have it, five prominent African-Americans, who blindly follow a white billionaire who smiles in their face, and does a Jim Crow tap dance behind their back.
10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences, I’ve never heard Trump say anything moronic. Well, except for the time when he said, “I have a great relationship with the Blacks.” And let’s not forget this memorable quote, “Laziness is a trait in the Blacks.” As a connoisseur of all things humanitarian, I cringe when Trump refers to people of color as “the Blacks.” Now do you see why, we have to deviate from the articulate angle? What a prick!
9. He is so charismatic. When I see The Donald, visions of Howdy Doody spring to mind. For those 30 and under, Howdy Doody is the puppet from a 1950s children’s TV show. And just like Howdy, Trump has an overly exaggerated smile. Another similarity the two share, is, they’re both stiff as a board. Which explains why Trump’s comment that an “overwhelming amount of violent crime in our major cities is committed by Blacks and Hispanics”, is equal to that of a narcissistic dummy, caressing his strings. Or in Trump’s case, stroking his wilted pickle!
8. His patriotism. Unlike thousands of young men who served in Vietnam, Trump served his country by eating at fancy restaurants and signing real estate deals. And as soon as those restaurant receipts are found, just like the Mexican “rapists” and “criminals” he adamantly refers to, everyone will appreciate this guy’s love for the good old U.S. A. What a man!
7. He always tells the truth. That’s right, Dondrum is so honest, you can believe everything he says, and then some. Case in point: If Trump says “Hillary Clinton was the worst secretary of state in the history of the United States”, who are we to question his judgment? After all, this is the man who told us umpteenth times, that President Obama was born in Kenya. And on that note I can proudly say, Trump gives new meaning to the phrase, talking loud and saying nothing.
6. His sense of humor. When Trump appears on my TV screen, I laugh uncontrollably. That sneer and bumbling walk, gets me every time. Perhaps, if he removed that flea- bitten toupee the laughter would stop. Or perhaps not.
5. His Moral Fiber. Oh man what a saint. Besides doing a “little partying” in his youth, this guy is so morally pure, I want to tell the whole world. If he’s elected, I bet you won’t catch an intern kissing this real estate mogul. Besides, if he’s elected, he’ll be too busy embracing his role, as the anti –immigrant president. Why can’t we all be this “perfect”?
4. His intelligence. Honestly, have we ever had a presidential nominee who was so brilliant? Hey, can you spell disgracelicious? pronounced dis-gracei-lish-ous. Don’t worry, Trump can’t either.
3. Compassion. He has it in droves, especially when targeting women and minorities. When Trump fails to stir up folks with his nuclear weapons proposal, the next step is to play the family values card. That’s when he launches into his spiel, on why women who have abortions, should be “punished.” That stunning remark, comes from a man who on an old Howard Stern audio, said he urged his then mistress Marla Maples to have an abortion. Talk about flip-flopping, Geesh!
2. Honesty. Oh how can I say it? Let me count the ways. I would love to, but time wont let me engage in such fantasies. From my viewpoint, Trump and honesty go hand-in-hand, like funky sardines and smooth Cabernet Sauvignon wine.
1. Major Insomnia Reliever. Within seconds after hearing Trump’s voice, I fall asleep. So who needs over-the-counter sleep aids, when this douche bag is available? And there you have it, 11 Reasons Why African-Americans “love” Donald Trump. And if you still can’t figure out the logic behind this commentary, here’s a ticket to the “Black Folks Don’t Let Trump Fool You” fundraiser, taking place at numerous venues until Election Day.
Staff Writer; Peggy S. Butler
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