Thursday, September 28, 2023

Walking In Denial Won’t Fix Our Problems.

July 28, 2015 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry

( Denial is a very dangerous thing. Yes there are rogue, renegade, dangerous, racist and unstable cops. But we can no more put all law enforcement officers into one basket than they can all of us. Our community is in a state of denial, often blaming others to avoid taking personal responsibility for our own actions. If our mouths make matters worse (like in the Sandra Bland incident), we want to ignore the laws and blame the police.

What I am about to say DOES NOT apply to all African Americans, but it applies to far too many of us. And you know if it applies to you or someone you know. We blame a psycho Spanish guy (Zimmerman) for 100% of the problem but fail to face that sometimes we don’t inform our children what to do if they are followed. We don’t teach our children not to confront a fool but we want to blame the fool alone when it turns out badly. We justify the actions of people of color and blame people of a different color. Yet if we are treated that way, we scream “racism”. It’s time to grow up and sometimes there is enough factual blame to go around. Sadly, too many of us want to make excuses to justify our actions and exempt ourselves. We all too often only want to look at one side – our side.

We want to blame the white man when we don’t succeed. Then we want to blame the white man for blocking our presidential “savior” for helping us succeed. We want to blame the police when we break the law and get caught or lose out. And if the police are guilty, they should be arrested, sent to prison and face stiff penalties. But we have to be careful of getting on the BLAME BANDWAGON, often before we even know the facts. We want to blame the courts when we don’t know our rights. We want to blame the school system when our children do not learn – even though we don’t check their homework, make sure they go to school, know where they are and attend the PTSA meetings.

There is an anger in our community that is embedded deep and straight from Hell. It is a personal discontentmentblackcommunity that is cloaked in blaming others for our problems and even our behavior. Too many of our people have no real peace and stay on the edge of losing it. Denial resolves nothing but it temporarily and deceptively makes us feel better about ourselves as if we did nothing wrong. Unfortunately that is not always accurate. Hitler got the Aryans to blame and scapegoat the Jews as the source of the Aryan problems. He was so “good” at this that the Aryans found it easier to hate and kill the Jews than to look in the mirror.

As a family and relationship counselor, mediator and life coach, I have dealt with, seen and exposed thousands of cases of denial. it’s time for our people to look in the mirror or we will never find real solutions. Our brothers have to admit they act like horny, irresponsible dogs (not all of them). Our women (not all) have to admit they need to learn to control their mouths and in many cases, keep their legs closed. Hard words to hear? Yes because the medicine that works best often tastes bitter.

Wisdom dictates that each of us be accountable for our own actions. Are there other factors like racism and discrimination that contribute to our people in poverty? You better believe there are. But those things are reasons, factors and catalysts – not excuses to stay where you are in life. Should all those who contribute to a plan for your downfall be held responsible? Definitely, but if you allow them to stop you or help them hinder you – you are just as much to blame as they are.

We don’t want to be stereotyped, yet so many of us judge many people by the actions of a few. It’s time to grow up. When they are at fault, we need to address that and go for justice. But when we are at fault, we need to look in the mirror. One common reaction when faced with looking in the mirror is for many of our people to blame others. Another is to lash out because the nail has been hit on the head. I saw that heavily in another article I wrote recently. A third reaction is to simply ignore the truth, the facts and/or the evidence or play dumb.

We can solve our problems and we may in fact be the only solutions in our community. But that takes the wisdom and maturity to look at the roots of our problems instead of pointing the finger. No race or ethnic group is perfect and I do not believe white people are innately superior to us. But I am not writing this article to them. When I write articles to them ort conduct seminars they attend, I speak the truth as it relates to them as well. Therefore my approach remains balanced. And I look in the mirror every day for errors and faults in myself that need to be corrected. I do not fear the mirror. Will you look in the mirror? If you do, what do you see?

Staff Writer; Marque-Anthony 


6 Responses to “Walking In Denial Won’t Fix Our Problems.”
  1. jdean says:

    Thanks I hear ya. Wish dudes like this didnt exist. But for now we have to live with them. They will be the first to run when the war comes.

  2. rasil says:

    His father is a Jew.

  3. rasil says:

    Thank you so much jdean. This contributor is one of the most disgusting, ignorant, handkerchief head, bafoonery, Steppin Fletcher, Uncle Tom, Negro, who still lives on the plantation and just is not able to shake colonialism. He is a perfect example of the Stockholme Syndrome and now he’s attempting to redeem himself because of the push back. He is an embarrassment to our people. He has been bought and about to be sold. Despicable and exactly what the oppressor wants.

  4. jdean says:

    Black anger comes from injustice, mistreatment, and lack of empathy from cowards like you who stand for injustice. Not hell. If blacks didnt have this anger we would still be on the plantation Where you want us to be. You should be ashamed for saying an ignorant statement like that. You are an educator and family counselor? Really I hope you are not spreading this ignorance to the people you administer to. WOW Blacks are successful no matter what injustice and racism has done to successful people like Obama, Henry Louis Gates, etc. What does success, and blaming the white man for our problems, have to do with injustice and the angry aftermath? The more you learn this Western Knowledge the more ignorant you get bro.. If you need help just email me I am educated, successful and wise beyond your years as evidence by your article

  5. jdean says:

    Spanish guy with a last name of Zimmerman….Wow Thats New

  6. jdean says:

    Yes you are right again…you cant be stopped… Its our Faults We Are The Victims. Sorry Oppressor For Standing Up to You. I should have been more docile, weak,and afraid. I should do anything you say…even if it is unjust…. And Yes Marque Anthony. We As Black People Should Watch Whats We Say To Massa Or Weez Gon Gets Killed……………….Thats how you sound. Like a modern day slave wit your eyes all bucked out….dance a lil jig for me nigga…..but not a real nigga….a modern day 2015 ………COON……….COON TRAIN IS COMIN

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!