(ThyBlackMan.com) It is very rare that you can turn on the television or listen to the radio and not hear about all of the negative things that are associated with differences. Too many times any people get so caught up in whether or not someone else sees the world the same way that they do that they forget there’s actually a benefit in diversity. Here are a few of those benefits when it comes down to knowing a white liberal.
10) They know where all the good “ethnic” food restaurants are:
If you’ve ever wanted to find a hidden cuisinary gem from a place where you can’t pronounce 90% of the menu nor remotely understand the server a white liberal friend will know just the place. Never mind that the health department hasn’t given them a passing grade….ever, nor the fact that it is so dark you should’ve brought your own set of candles, your white liberal friend will know the spot.
9) They know the plot of at least 5 indie films:
Your white liberal friend should be on speed dial if you’re in the mood to see a film about the existential reality of a dying seahorse. If that’s not your speed that’s not a problem. Your white liberal friend not only knows the plot, actors and directors of this film but she knows the same details of at least 4 other films that no one has ever heard of.
8) Their church service lasts only 24 minutes:
If by some miraculous chance your white liberal friend even goes to church the service last no longer than the amount of time you sit in the drive thru line at Starbucks. Walking into a sanctuary that looks and smells more like the inside of a coffee house, the hipster crowd of “skinny jean Jesus” congregants get a quick pep talk in between flashy, over produced video images and adult-contemporary campfire songs.
7) They get WAY excited about ordinary black people stuff:
Take your white liberal friend to the average, AVERAGE soul food restaurant and be prepared for an unending barrage of platitudes. “Oh my God! This is incredible” (fried chicken), “I’ve never tasted something so good” (greens), “there’s a party going on inside my mouth” (banana pudding).
6) They have a great Jazz music collection:
Miles at Montreaux? Coltrane in Camaroon? Monk in Moscow? Your white liberal friend has boxes full of these gems in pristine condition. They may even have the original studio masters.
5) They know obscure facts about your favorite rap albums:
Your white liberal friend can tell you what type of shoes your favorite rapper was wearing when they recorded their all-time banger. They can tell you the type of drum box and how many were made by the manufacturer. They know how many takes it took before it was “chopped up” right. If these and other obscure facts are important to you, get a white liberal friend. They know.
4) They view money completely different than you:
From spending $15,000 on front row tickets to a Neil Diamond concert to dropping everything and travelling for a year to “find” themselves, from donating money (real money) to a political cause to buying the last pair of underwear worn by John Lennon, many white liberals come from families that have more generational wealth than many black families and thus tend to spend money differently. Sometimes it’s good to keep them around. They like to travel with a friend.
3) They don’t get shot by cops:
Only a white liberal can turn her back and walk away from a police officer, without getting shot, after wagging her finger in his face and even spitting on him.
2) They recognize white “code talk” and aren’t afraid to call it out:
White liberals know the in-house racist attitudes that are present in the passive aggressive language that many of their fellow whites use towards blacks and other minorities. They don’t have any patience for one of their own when the excuse of “I’m not racist” is given, because they know it’s not true. They know it’s racist and they call it out, loudly.
1) They’re not afraid to pay their way out of white guilt:
Acknowledging that their wealth and privilege comes from years of systematic injustice is a constant source of emotional pain for the average white liberal. As a result many of them will donate their time and huge sums of money to organizations that, in their minds, combat those wrongdoings. In other words they’ll break out their wallets to be down with the cause.
At the end of the day the differences in opinions are what hold the quilt of our national fabric in place. As a people we do not stand outside of that reality and have, historically, sat at the head of the table when it comes down to inclusion. Undoubtedly we will continue to embrace some of those differences while rejecting others and that is our right and our legacy.
Staff Writer; Steven Robinson
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