Black Men & Women: A Regal State of Mind.

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(ThyBlackMan.com) We as women must make a simple decision are we, or are we not, bitches and whores. I totally agree with the concept that Black men ought not call us such things, and they should respect Black women. Having gotten that out the way I do feel it’s time to take a hard look at ourselves as Black women. Sisters can no longer ask Black men, and no one else, to do for us what only we can accomplish.

Respect begins with self…it starts from within. Much has happened to the Black woman in America, and other nations, from slavery to now that chipped away at how we view ourselves. Basically we went from being Queens, valued wives, affective mothers, and cornerstones in our communities to enslavement where we were seen as and treated like less that animals. Our bodies where disregarded as trash and unworthy. Because we were seen as nothing more than a white man’s property we could never embody concepts like “The Cult of True Womanhood”.

We are very aware of our uphill battle for value & respect. Some Black woman look at Black men as if they have completely betrayed us in believing the media driven view of us, treating us poorly and some feel even worse if they see Black men with anyone accept a Black women. Regardless of the fact that statistically Black men marry Black women more than any other group of women, and there are still many Black men that love, and appreciate us many would rather believe the negativity.

The bottom line is we must own our own perspective, and be totally unapologetic about it. We, as Black women, should no longer look to others to validate how we will think or carry ourselves. Basically I don’t need a Black man to validate that I am not a bitch nor whore…I know I am not and I live according to that knowledge. He, and others, will interact with me based on the standard I set for myself, and what I allow. Dear Sisters we must reclaim our magic, strength and regal stance. We must learn to love who we are truly from the inside out. Many of us have been hurt in our past, but we cannot hold on to the pain that can create a monster within us.

We have the power to write our narrative as we see fit, as the pen does truly belong to us. There is a true Black woman strength that does not come from putting up a front, trying to match the Black man in strength, harboring anger, ignoring pain nor losing our cool. Our strength comes from our graceful ability to love, live & speak truth, uplift, empower, inspire, and own our individuality. There is nothing wrong with our feminine beauty…nothing wrong with being a powerful beautiful Black woman that doesn’t have to demand respect, because when we are in this mode our very presence commands respect.

Many of our Sisters are striving, growing, and living in this magic every day, and for those that may be lost or confused the power to become greater is within you. Beauty is a blessing, and God was good to us when he shaped us….however assets laid to bare is not power. Basically, there is nothing wrong with keeping our clothes on. This doesn’t take away from our sexuality, it can be seen as enhancing our grace…and sending a message to our men that we are to be both truly adored and valued physically and internally. Lastly, we really cannot ask Black men, and no one else, not to call us out of our name if we choose to call each other bitches and whores. Yes, I understand that some Sisters feel that owning the word may empower us, but this goes back to the issue of a regal state of mind. What QUEEN is referred to as a DOG? The answer is NONE. There is no way for us to own those derogatory words; when we speak them in reference to ourselves, or another Sister, we are empowering negativity in regards to the nature of our being.

I do understand this goes against what society shows us regarding who, and what, we are. However, I believe we are greater than we see in videos and on TV. We are stronger inside than we know, and have the power to be great inside and out. We are important to the healing of our homes and communities…we give birth to them. Let’s embrace unity amongst Black women, and encourage each other to a regal state of mind.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

educated black man says:

April 22, 2015 at 12:49 pm

Great post. Well said, and honest. Basically, its saying its time for black women to realize that the ability to overcome their Willie Lynch Syndrome is within them. But to do it, they must first muster up the courage to be honest with themselves. It must be true because assuming the author is a black woman, she successfully summoned up the courage to write this honest critique of black women, and included instructions for other black women on how to do the same. I think some black women are learning to work on themselves, so their is light at the end of this nightmare.

Jenni says:

April 22, 2015 at 5:13 am

I beg to differ. I am black and proud. I do understand that we come in different shades and colors. One of the reason for this is because of race mixing over the years. But the original color is black.
If we are ashamed of who we are and our history, how can we know were we are going? Adam and Eve the first people created by God were dark skinned. God created man in His own image according to the bible.

Jenni says:

April 22, 2015 at 4:52 am

I agree that black women need to unite, I also think it is time to stop referring to black women as bitches and whores. The bible say that your body is the temple of God to keep it holy. We must teach our daughters that real beauty comes from within. Enough of women abusing their body with alcohol, drugs and cigarette.
As for black men, do not use sisters for sex and leave her when the baby comes Be a man and marry her raise a strong family. Come back to God and the church. God said be fruitful and multiply. Be a father and be a husband, That is the greatest calling from God.

Trying to Understand says:

March 26, 2015 at 8:32 am

I appreciate your perspective. Hopefully more BLACK women will read, understand and internalize some of your views. Well said. Thank you.

To Marque, I realize you have a point that cars are Black, not people, but I am Black, born and will die Black, not because of what white people labeled me, but because my black people (mother, father and wonderful community) taught me to value my blackness that goes much deeper than a color. I’d spend more time discussing this with you, but I think you missed the point of the above article. Have a blessed day

Cheryl says:

March 22, 2015 at 7:36 pm

****Except Black women ***

victor of white supremacy says:

March 19, 2015 at 1:19 pm

marque-anthony there are only 2 colors in the system of white supremacy white and non-white

Marque-Anthony says:

March 17, 2015 at 3:03 am

I hear your points but I really wish we would stop saying we are “black”. We are not. Black is the color of your car tires and that is a fact. Calling ourselves what we are not is proof that we have internalized, adopted and assimilated what white people decided to call us during the North Atlantic Slave Trade. And even if others called us that before then, they were in error as well. Look at the color of your skin. Read my article on this site entitled I DON’T KNOW ANY BLACK PEOPLE and you will see why the racists began calling us black. Wake up.