(ThyBlackMan.com) What does it mean to be successful? Does it mean getting rich, being famous, having power? Does it mean being independent, being liked, or something else?
Many of us embrace artificially-contrived definitions of success without thinking much about them. They may have been given to us by our parents, the media, our friends, or someone else.
One thing that holds true is that many African Americans are accustomed to looking toward white America to tell us what it means to be successful (after all, they are the ones who typically educate us in school and in media, which is a problem right there). When they pat us on the head or give us recognition, we are often convinced that we are worthier human beings than we might have been otherwise.
Once we receive this recognition, many of us are tempted to internalize it and permanently implant it into the structure of our self-worth.
Examples might include:
1) I am a VP at IBM, therefore I am more successful than the black man who runs his own business
2) I went to Harvard, therefore I am more successful than someone who attended an HBCU
3) I have a job on NBC or CNN, therefore, I am more successful than the black person who runs his own website or urban radio show
4) I am a professor at Stanford, therefore, I am more successful than black scholars who would never be hired by Stanford
5) I have a lucrative deal to make gangsta rap for Epic Records, that’s why I’m more successful than the independent artist who can sell thousands of positive/healthy records on the Internet.
In many cases, association with these long-established, powerful organizations is a kind of branding that makes us feel better about ourselves. It’s also a space that is almost uniquely white because the most powerful, wealthy and storied institutions were founded by whites long before black people were ever allowed to own anything. It’s almost like a style of marketing where, simply having a label on your clothing, your skin or your psyche makes you believe that you’ve elevated your status in
society.
One day, take a second and ask yourself: If you consider most of the “successful” black people you see on television (i.e. Stephen A. Smith, Charles Barkley, Whoopi Goldberg, Don Lemon, Nene Leakes) and in-person, how many of these people would still be considered successful if they’d not received validation or funding from whites?
How many of our most cherished movie stars, politicians and television figures have leveraged nearly all of their self-worth on a benefit they’ve received from a white-owned corporation or organization? What are they giving up in exchange for these benefits? Why are we somehow convinced that they are better than the rest of us?
It’s pretty simple: Whiter is usually better, even in the eyes of many black people. This might explain why rappers love to brag about how much money they’ve spent on European brands owned by people who don’t even like black people and certainly would never give us jobs. Your self-esteem has to be mighty low for you to give away your resources to someone who has repeatedly proven that they care nothing about you.
In some cases, the tradeoff for black acceptance in white institutions is relatively modest: Maybe you have to smile a little bit more than you want, choose your battles and even bite your tongue every blue moon. But in some situations, people are forced into selling their souls, doing things they know to be wrong, but feeling justified because a wealthy white guy is giving them money to do it. They may even have to throw their entire community under the bus (i.e. Steve Harvey choosing Paula Deen to mentor black boys despite the fact that there are thousands of black chefs who would have jumped at the opportunity, or Barack Obama being elected by the black vote but not prioritizing black unemployment as he did for whites).
This kind of thinking has been nurtured within us for hundreds of years. Whites control the bulk of American wealth. They “give” us jobs that we haven’t learned to create for ourselves, and provide access to platforms and opportunities we might not have otherwise. What’s unsettling about this tradeoff is that many of these gifts come with very strict conditions. The greatest and most relevant condition is that you are NOT allowed to bite the hands that feed you.
So, because you’ve been conditioned to make tradeoffs without thinking, when the situation calls for you to stand up, your first inclination is to sit down. When you are asked to speak up about racial injustice, you remain silent. When it’s time to fight, you cower into the corner like a turtle under its shell. In your chase for so-called “success,” conceived in an artifically-contrived framework built by people who hate you, you churn away like a hamster on a wheel, one day waking up and realizing that you’re only a shadow of the person you were meant to be.
We still have not yet learned the strategic vulnerabilities that are created when you come to depend on a commodity that is supplied by your oppressor. It’s a little bit like going into a basketball game and letting members of the other team bring their own ball, use their home court, and serve as referees. You’re not going to win this game, and you’ll only be allowed to play for as long as they want you to. If there is a tie, you’re going to lose. If you start winning too much, they will change the rules. When press reports are written about how the game went, you’ll never be recognized as being the better player.
Perhaps we need to redefine the word “success.” If you define success to be based solely on money and power, then working for white people is probably your best shot. So, that BET executive with the big house and fancy car, who is promoting black male genocide at various awards shows only has the satisfaction of knowing that he got rich with a gallon of blood on his hands. In fact, he’s trapped, because he knows that there aren’t too many other places he can get that kind of money, have that much power and attract that many women. He can’t even justify what he does to his intelligent or conscientious black friends. This white-owned corporation’s ability to control resources that he needs to maintain his self-worth effectively eliminates him from the pool of blacks capable of standing up against racist institutions: You can’t really fight the dope pusher when you’ve started smoking his crack.
But if you define success based on a double bottom line, you realize that empowering your community by confronting oppressive forces is a huge reward within itself. This puts you in the tradition of Malcolm X, Marcus Garvey, Harriet Tubman, Cornel West and others who were ostracized for advocating for the people, but are heroes nonetheless.
Even Martin Luther King Jr. lost a lot of powerful friends for doing the right thing. But he had to have a strong sense of self in order to remain consistent against such odds. Had he been a fly-by-night negro looking to be famous, we wouldn’t remember his name today. Had he been just another scholar praying and begging for tenure, he never would have marched or gotten arrested. Had Dr. King been on a Jay-Z/Kanye paper chase, he would have forgotten about the poor and spent his time taking selfies with other celebrities. The greatest thing that Dr. King’s parents gave him was not his education, faith or sense of blackness: It was his courageous sense of self-worth and the desire to sacrifice for the betterment of his community. Without the spiritual fortifications needed to fight tough battles, Dr. King would have just been another wealthy, famous, selfish, highly-educated coward. Those people come a dime a dozen, and that basically defines a large percentage of the black people you see on TV.
The truth is that you can still make a little money by remaining strong, just not as much as you’d make by selling out to every white guy who offers you five bucks and a lollipop. Instead, getting rich might require building something of your own, working a little bit harder and having a little more patience. It may call for you to love yourself even when nobody else loves you. It may take you longer to build the same income stream as the black guy working at IBM, but at least you’ll own your revenue stream and not be renting it from somebody else. You can also pass these opportunities down to your children and let them know that they don’t have to bow and scrape to white supremacy in order to be successful because you helped pave the way to their freedom.
When Harriet Tubman fought to get countless slaves off the plantation, some of them weren’t sure they wanted to go. The venture was risky and difficult. They didn’t know how they were going to eat without help from the master and didn’t know if they’d be able to find clothing or shelter. They also knew they would be on some of the same “Wanted” posters that Harriet had been on for all of her life and might end up facing death, castration or something worse. Our oppressors have never been happy when we’ve fought for our independence, so the penalty for freedom was harsh.
But for those who had the faith to run away with Harriet, their children were born free. They were able to breathe a little easier knowing that they controlled their own destiny. They were able to help other slaves get off the plantation. They were able to take the time they would have normally spent picking cotton and use it to learn Art, History, Mathematics, or Business Management. They and their children had an opportunity to become fully self-actualized human beings because they no longer had to spend their time responding to the whims of a slave master.
The experience of the runaway slave can be, in some ways, compared to the path of the Corporate Negro. Many of us are caught doing work that has almost no meaning other than giving us a paycheck. We end up apologizing even when we’ve done nothing wrong. We quietly endure unacceptable injustice because there is a huge penalty for speaking our mind. We dream of freedom, but accept the idea that some things are only accessible for white folks. We become only a fraction of who we were meant to be, largely because we spend our days engaged in the otherwise meaningless task of picking somebody else’s cotton.
Self-esteem is a VERY important part of this equation. People of color have been stripped of our dignity for centuries. Therefore, we are made to believe that the only way we can be “good,” healthy, clean and whole human beings is through mainstream acceptance or attachment to powerful white-run institutions. But if you already know you’re special without all of those accolades, you’re able to easily walk away from them when you’re asked to compromise your values. So, say it loud: ”I’m black and I’m proud,” or as Jesse Jackson used to say, “I am somebody.” These little words can mean the world when you’ve got the weight of the universe on your shoulders and are being pressured to morph yourself into something that you’re not.
You can collapse all that I’m saying into one important word: Love. Learn to deeply love yourself, even if white people don’t like you. You can’t fight for freedom while simultaneously seeking acceptance from the very institutions that are designed to oppress you. If others know that they control access to your self-worth, they are going to play with your brain the way a pimp plays mind games on a prostitute: ”You’re nothing without me,” “when I met you, you didn’t have a pot to piss in,” “you’re ugly anyway,” “baby, I used to love you, but you have to stop acting like this.”
The fact is that, when it comes to race, there’s a whole lot to talk about. And, when you start speaking the truth about what black people are going through, many white people are NOT going to want to hear it. When you escape the plantation for something better, some of your best friends are going to think you’re crazy for walking away from a guaranteed income and artificial prestige. In that case, you must be prepared to withstand a little bit of alienation and accept the idea that freedom is a reward within itself, that you are special, unique, capable and powerful, even if white America gets upset with you. You don’t need other people to tell you that you’re worthy.
Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.
