(ThyBlackMan.com) “God is looking for people who are prepared, people that are taking steps to grow, people that are serious about fulfilling their destiny.” -Joel Osteen. It goes without saying that words can be powerful. The right words can mend a heart, rejuvenate the mind, and restore your faith. When I read this quote by Joel Osteen I was instantly reminded of the saying, “God help those who help themselves.” And depending on your journey in life you might take that to mean a number of things. Personally, I take that to simply mean, help God to help you.
Now, I’m not one to give unsolicitated advice, but if you ask me one of the ways I try to help God help me is by reading self-help books. Today you can find a self-help book on a number of topics. On Amazon alone there are over 151,656 titles in the self-help category alone. From The Secret by Rhonda Byrne to Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by
Martin E.P. Seligman. My sister who read The Secret said reading the book made her feel powerful. Although I have not read the The Secret, and I remain a little skeptical about the message the book is trying to convey, but it is my understanding from the reviews that the book speaks of the power of positive thinking, and believing in the good of the universe. Who wouldn’t want to receive that message?
Martin E.P. Seligman. My sister who read The Secret said reading the book made her feel powerful. Although I have not read the The Secret, and I remain a little skeptical about the message the book is trying to convey, but it is my understanding from the reviews that the book speaks of the power of positive thinking, and believing in the good of the universe. Who wouldn’t want to receive that message? But let’s talk truth, I can tell you that I started reading self-help books a long time ago. I remember reading my first self-help book on the heels of a devasting divorce. At the urging of my sister I borrowed her book, Yesterday I Cried by Iyanla Vanzant. The book was instrumental in helping me come to term with my guilt as a young struggling single mother. After I read the book I felt relieved and was happy to let go of the guilt.
I especially remember this passage from the book quoted from the book The Prophet written by Kahlil Gibran which said, “Your children are not your children. There are sons and daughters of life searching for their own. They come through you but they are not from you. Although they are with you, they belong not to you.”
Over the years, I realized reading the right self-book was helpful in my ‘self-therapy’. I also read In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant. At the time I read In The Meantime I was in a toxic relationship. The book was instrumental in helping me to understand a few things about being in a toxic relationship. Number one, I learned in the meantime and in between time nothing in life was permanent. Two, I needed to clean my own house (life) before inviting someone to share it. And three, I will continue to repeat the same mistakes unless I stop procrastinating on solving my own issues. Meanwhile, I was filling the space in the meantime with relationships that started nowhere and going nowhere. Lesson learned.
Right around the time I was losing faith in men and everything in-between I did two things: first, I prayed harder, and second, I borrowed my friend’s book, Act Like A lady, Think Like a Man by Steve harvey not long after it was released. The self-proclaimed relationship guru said he wrote the book to help those who were ‘relationship-challenged.’ ME! In the book he wrote, “Everything you need to know about men and relationship is in there.” Of course, at first I was critical, but after reading just a few chapters, everything just clicked. It occured to me then that I already knew all that I needed to know about men.
I learned that men are not that complicated! Truth is, many are simple, and looking for the same things women are. Also, if you tell them what you expect, they will listen. My favorite part of Steve Harvey’s book was chapter two titled: Our Love Isn’t Like Your Love, where he wrote about the three P’s: Profess, Provide, and Protect. Basically, he wrote if a man loves you he will profess his love for you. If he loves you he will want to protect and provide for you. On the other hand, if he has not professed his love for you it’s likely he is not in love with you.
Therefore, you should not waste your time with him. Finally, he concluded, if a man loves you he will shout it out on the highest mountain, defend you against his own mother, and even his whole family if necessary. The only thing that I disagreed with in Steve’s book was what he wrote in chapter eleven titled: The Ninety-Day Rule. Let’s just say, I wasn’t convinced.
But everybody’s different.
With all that said, again I’m not one to give unsolicitated advise, but I do believe we all need a little help. Pray, then pick up a good self-help book, because there is no shame in it, only growth. As for me I see a secret purchase on Amazon in my future.