(ThyBlackMan.com) So everyone is talking about the situation that occurred between the Brother that was driving the bus and the Sister that was a passenger, and I wanted to give my thoughts on the matter. I posted the link on both of my Facebook pages and I must say, the amount of deflection that was exhibited by some of the women that commented was almost unbelievable.
When I watched the video, my initial thoughts were just how aggressive she was towards the Brother and I thought his reaction was just. This is what happens when you become the aggressor regardless if you are male or female. In my house I had to jam my oldest daughter up because she hit her brother and said you can’t hit me back because I am girl. I quickly corrected her and told her that doesn’t give you or any other female who thinks like that a pass. You place your hands on a man, be prepared for the possibility that he might place his hands on you.
This was one of the comments left on my personal Facebook page; “He’s a BYTCH! I guess men can hit girls/women — if warranted. “This type of response is typical for those that wallow in deflection. This wasn’t a random incident where he just walked up to the Sister and punched her, if it was then to lay blame on him would be valid. However this is a man REACTING to someone’s actions. So he’s a bytch for responding to the female that hit him? What does her actions make HER? As women we are so quick to cosign, enable and pass out “victim” cards for one another. That’s not the case with me; I keep a deck of “accountability cards” in my pocket. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Women wanted to talk about the effect (him hitting her) but not about the cause; her INITIAL violation of him.
Look at the language that was used. We are so quick to call Black Men out of their names, just totally disrespectful, but remain mute on the disrespectful Black Woman that was the catalyst of the situation. As women we are VERY hypocritical, we want the errors of men center stage with a bright spotlight,
So many Sisters wanted him to handle it differently, but all of this could have been avoided if SHE would have handled herself differently in the FIRST place.
It also comes down to trying to test a Brother’s manhood. Because of the emasculation and effeminization of the Black Man, Black Women have become more masculine in their thinking, which is reflected in their actions. Because we have been placed on this “make shift throne” we have convinced ourselves that we really do rule over men, causing us to treat and speak to them any type of way. So obviously she felt like she could “punk” him. What has she witnessed that made her think that was OK? Has she done something like this before and got away with it? Most destructive behavior is learned behavior. We live in a society where women play the victim and in some cases are enabled to pull these kinds of stunts.
I also noticed comments like “he didn’t have to do her like that” or that his actions weren’t “justified.” This is the thing, if you run up on me, you can’t dictate my reaction. You touch me and I have the right to kill you. She should be happy she’s still breathing. If that was my daughter I would beat her ass and make her go apologize. Don’t play those big girl games if you’re not ready for big girl consequences.
I will tell you just like I tell my son, anyone puts their hands on you, male or female, you have the right to body bag them. Many thought his reaction wasn’t “fair”. Again we want Black Men to just take our shyt right? Everyone has a breaking point, how much disrespect could you honestly tolerate before you retaliate? She should consider getting chin checked as mercy. This was a lesson that she had to learn the hard way.
His actions weren’t fair? Really? Why is it that we always deflect back to him or men in general? What about HER actions? Were they fair? Was she justified? If you slap me and a few days later you find yourself waking up in the hospital you can’t say that’s not fair I just slapped her. You will not violate me by putting your hands on me and think you can dictate my reaction to YOU putting your hands on ME. That’s not how it works.
This incident is a viral billboard to those women who become physically aggressive towards men, and try to use “you can’t hit me because I am a woman” shield. Like the Brother who was driving the bus said “”She want to be a man, I’m gonna treat you like a man.” Please don’t misconstrue or mistake my stance as consignment on domestic violence regarding women. The two are NOT related. For every action there is a consequence and in this case, the consequence was a smooth uppercut.
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Hitting women is wrong period, I despise that... however when a 25 year old woman is acting a fool in public,didnt pay her fair,put her hands on the bus driver and spit on him,put everyone and herself in danger...she gets no sympathy from me...If you make your bed hard you got to lay in it...what is more disturbing is how alot of people want to deflect and deny the obvious...hypocrytes! Talkin bout he shouldve nicely asked her to leave...really? I highly doubt these people would be so diplomatic if this happened to them...
There were a hundred other courses of action he could've taken aside from that. He hit the sista with enough force to kill her..... No exaggeration. That was a vintage Mike Tyson uppercut...... devastating. The kind that makes you bite your tongue off and bleed out. She was dead wrong in her behavior..... Inexcusable...... But c'mon bro. Really? A good mush off the bus woulda sufficed :O/
Many of you seem to be missing the obvious. You tend to focus primarily on the bus driver's response. But consider a few things for a moment:
1. The bus driver was 59 years old. Basically a senior citizen. He comes from an era when young folks knew to respect their elders or risked communal punishment if they didn't.
2. The 'woman' in question was 25 years old. Far from a child.
My question is: What has happened to our community when a 25 year old woman finds it acceptable to not only strike, but to SPIT ON a senior citizen?! Do you know how nasty someone's SPIT is?!
Someone mentioned about reversing the races. Lets do that. If this had been a 59 year old white male bus driver, that sister never would've broken bad on him. She damn sure wouldn't strike or spit on him. You rarely hear of black women attacking white men. And you know why? Because sisters know the repercussions os swift justice that would surely follow. Not to mention a sick love and respect many have for white men.
But you hear and see black women jumping up in a brother's face all the time. Remember the situation that happened in the Manhattan McDonald's earlier this year; when two black girls acting all mannish jumped behind the counter and attacked a brother who worked there? They both took one for the team too, just like this out of pocket sister on the bus. All 3 are lucky to have escaped with their lives.
Our black women have been conditioned to have little to no respect for black men in general; even the seniors among us. And though this is not indicative of ALL sisters, it is for far too many. I hope this incident is a wake up call for many of you.
This I know for sure, change the color of the skin this would not have happened. Changed the gender to white male, this would not have happened. It appears some black men only get their courage when attacking black women. As someone mentioned above, this person would not have rolled out on a white person and I would say any other racial group. This black bus driver would've become very contemplative before acting out. Enough with all the labels (hoodrat ghetto) it does not justify his conscious deliberate response.
All I want to know is why didn't. The bus driver's assistant step in? He was just standing there like he wasn't at work and eventually got pushed down before the bus was shifted into park, the bus driverunbuckled his seatbelt and unleashed the sickest uppercut seen by man. If the bys driver is wrong, so us everyone else that was on that bus. Someone could have intervened. Personal opinion.
Great article by the way. The truth can be too real for people sometimes.
@Bonita, African people in America are the ONLY ethnic group that fail to teach the boys that they must protect themselves, the women and children by any AND all means necessary. This is a violent world and one does not meet violence with turtling and showing your yellow belly. This is one of the reason everybody kicks our asses...including the dysfunctional among us. Jail! shoot we are already in Jail. Fear? A coward dies a thousand times! Why do you think many of us don't roll up on Caucasian people? Because of the fear of being body bagged. I teach my sons and daughters the same thing.
This is a perfect example of the lack of respect we have for one another as a people. Our values have totally changed. I’m not a bus driver, but I’ve ridden the bus long enough to know they have one of the hardest jobs on the planet. I don’t condoned what the bus driver did, but I understand why. He even said it in the video, the same reason why some brothers leave their children behind because they can’t get along with the child’s mother. I don’t agree with it either, but I understand it. Our roles have changed where our women choose to act like a man rather than act like the person they were created to be, the nurturer, comforter, and all the other qualities the women possesses.
The man is supposed to be the provider, protector, and all the other attributes the man possesses, but he has relinquished his duties as well. But everything has become mixed up and one of the reasons is because we follow behind what other people do instead of what we should do and used to do. We now rely on people outside our community for everything, even how to act, as we watch the destruction of the family continue to deteriorate following behind them. Until we come together as a people and rely on ourselves to solve our problems, this lack of respect for one another will continue and even get worse.
Black Unity means financial independence and happiness
I hope you did not really tell your son that it was okay and even justifiable to "body bag" someone. Killing someone WILL put him in jail, if he's lucky only until the trial. But you know the consequences if he's found guilty.
There are two parts to this thing.
1. If you don't want to be a sufferer of violence, you don't start it -- "Don't start no mess, won't be no mess." The sista failed on that.
2. You cannot have certain rights without certain responsibilities -- those of us women who want to be treated like ladies need to accept the responsibility to act in a way worthy of that level of respect. The sista failed on that.
The Law of Reciprocity is no respector of persons; you will reap what you sow, and the sista got exactly what she sowed, planted on her chin. Now, there is a side matter -- we expect our professionals and public servants, no matter their gender, to be able to handle themselves a little better than the general public. I understand therefore why the brotha lost his job; few employers can have an employee around after the employee puts his hands on the customer. The general public simply will not have that; after all, we have been socialized to believe that the customer is always right. This violent, disrespectful sista proves that what we have been taught to believe is not always the case... but just like she has to live with the consequence of putting her hands on him, he and his family likewise will have to deal with the consequences of him putting his hands on her in response.
@Mack...you beat me to it brother!