(ThyBlackMan.com) What is a friend..? So many people get so caught up in the novelty of the word “friend,” that they lose sight of what the word really means. Throughout my life I have always been a very outgoing and sociable person, and in that time I have established numerous relationships with all different types of people…many of whom I used to label friends. I realize now, at this point in my life, that certain relationships (as harmless as some of them may seem) need to be severed in order to provide more room for my own personal growth and advancement. I think that applies to all of us…
So what is a friend? Is it the person that tells you what you want to hear in order to keep you happy enough to keep them around? Or could it be the “fair-weather,” who always happens to show their face when things are going really great for you, but seems to become increasingly “busy” when the abundance 
decreases? Then there is the “ride or die friend“…sounds like the perfect pick, doesn’t it? Well, I beg to differ, because, even though that ride or die friend may be willing to go to the ends of the earth with you, and “ride til the wheels fall off,” they are usually reckless, and only with you for their own “thrill” or enjoyment. They seldom disagree with anything you say, and are often just fine with things exactly the way they are….not the best element to keep around for a person looking to lead a progressive life.
There is also another type of friend that the “jury” is still out on…I call them the “bosom buddies.” Now, these are really cool people. They genuinely care about you, and they will always have your back when they are around. They often give very good advice and are quite charming. You have such a great time with your bosom buddies! BUT…as beautiful as they are, these types of friends are somewhat similar to the fairweathers in that their “friendship availability” is primarily contingent to convenience, or personal gain. If they need you for something, they will come running…and they’ll probably stick around for a short spell, basking in the “great time” they are having with their “friend” They’ll call for a few days and keep the torch lit for a bit, but sooner than later…that flame dies. The novelty has now worn off…now it’s your turn …YOU need a favor…you need some time from them…you need something tangible (or intangible) from your friend . Well, unfortunately…they probably won’t be available. But make no mistake, it’s not because they don’t want to help you…it’s just not convenient enough for them to make that effort for you (but they won’t tell you that).
There’s an old saying…”A friend won’t bail you out of jail; a real friend will be sitting right next to you in the cell talking about what a wild time we had!”…I don’t agree. A REAL friend will be the one to talk you out of doing the stupid sh*t you did to get locked up in the first place. Why? because they CARE about you and want to see the best for you…
So, what is a friend, I ask…To me, a friend is someone who is there for you when s/he’d rather be somewhere else. A friend understands that it’s not just the tangibles that define the relationship. It’s more so determined by the intangibles…showing moral support in productive AND stressful situations….giving a helping hand without waiting to be asked…showing up for your kid’s first piano recital and cheering just as loudly as you are when the audience is supposed to be quiet. A friend is there to tell you the truth…even if it stings you to hear it. A friend will walk into the room where you are sitting when the rest of the world just walked out….A friend is a treasure that may not be wrapped up in the fanciest dressing, but is still invaluable…And since they are very hard to come by, we should all cherish the ones that we do have and cut off some of the dead weight that we have accumulated along this journey that we call life.
Why do I know what a real friend is? Because I AM a real friend, and unfortunately, the drawback of that is that I can see all those who are not. So now, I say to you……….OPEN YOUR EYES.
Staff Writer; Tony Lindsay
