(ThyBlackMan.com) The late Dr. Edwin Lewis Cole, one of the guiding forces behind the rise of the Christian Men’s Movement in the later part of the last century, had the following summation of Christian relationships: “A man MUST major on manhood; and minor on womanhood.” In order for our young, single brothers to understand the latest going-on concerning young women of today, I highly recommend the book: “The Female Fool” by author Melissa Diane Hudson. Furthermore, I would urge the women who scope out my reviews to also get several copies, keep one for themselves, and give them out to their female friends.
The ‘full’ title of the work is “The Female Fool: 10 Reasons Why You Aren’t Attracting A Good Christian Man.” (Creation House Publishing, 2011/Paperback, 80 pages). Hudson, a writer, widow, and motivational speaker, has gone where few female Christian relationship writers have dared to go; challenging the sisterhood to ‘grow up’ God’s way, into the women that He wants them to be–in order for true Christian men to find their Queen.
In Hudson’s view, females may be in the broader view of society, but real Christian men are hunting for ‘grown up’ Christian women who would make great wives. She has the life history to write such a work. A woman who is firm in her faith, Hudson is a widow with a son. Her work is a plea to her sisters, both inside of and outside of the church, to follow the biblical path to a marital relationship. She walks the talk, and the talk is right out of the Word of God and a lot of common sense.
“The Female Fool” is ideal for the Pastor who is looking for a work to have older women in the church to teach younger women the realities of Christian womanhood. Chapters include; “Gold Digger, Money Trigger”, “Low Self-Esteem” and “Accept That It Is Over”. This book IS a welcome breath of honesty out of the relationship book forest.
Staff Writer; Mike Ramey
This talented writer can be reached at the following address; manhoodline@yahoo.com.
@Mack well said….sometimes simplicity works….basic values will keep you from being a sex slave and being a wife….that is if that’s what you desire
This sounds like an excellent book. I’ll be looking for it this weekend.
Ramses: well put.
@ Kann: and what exactly was wrong with how relationships were in the pre-Vietnam era? For one: they worked! And children came out a helluva lot healthier and better because of it.
Whenever a crime happens, investigators do several things to determine how to resolve it: they interview witnesses, follow the clues,and delve into the background of the victim. Once they’ve done this, it usually helps them solve the crime. When you consider that 80% of black women are single moms who have never been married; and in less than a generation black women have gone from the most married group of women in America to the most likely to NEVER get married, its obvious that a crime against nature and society has been committed. So lets investigate to bring some resolution to this issue.
The scene of this crime took place right around that same time period you referred to: the 1950′ pre-Vietnam era. It wasn’t the Vietnam war that changed the dynamic of relationships in the black community; what changed it was black women running after worldly success over family values. What’s worst, they ran after it knowing full well that black men were being systematically denied access to worldly wealth.
Now most other groups of women would’ve recognized there was a nefarious plan afoot to destroy a community. But sisters instead started to believe the lie that black men were weak and black women were stronger without them. Well how has that worked for you? Black women are the most successful, beautiful, unmarriageable and disloyal group of women in this country. Hence the real reason why you need books like this one to steer you back onto the right path.
Now lets interview witnesses. We can start by interviewing those who were around back when black families prospered: the 1950s pre-Vietnam era. That would be your older folks. When I was getting married, my wife-to-be and myself went and talked to several older married couples. Two that really stand out to me were widowed women who were 82 and 94 years old respectively, who had decades of marriage under their belts before becoming widows. They both shared the best unanimous wisdom I’ve heard to date: NO MATTER WHAT, STAY TOGETHER. Period.
Now granted, they come from an era where women weren’t encouraged to act like whores and independent drama queens that never mature into adulthood. And men didn’t sit around all day aspiring to be a guild leader on World of Warcraft, or the next damn 2Chainz. But its great advice for weathering the storms that marriages eventually run into.
And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t take a “strong woman” to leave a troubled relationship; that’s actually what weak women do! Weak women can’t hold a relationship together, primarily because their ‘picker’ is off. They don’t know how to pick the right dude to begin with because they’re looking for all the wrong things in a man.
Strong women on the other hand understand that relationships are a mutual investment that accrues value over time; they don’t approach it like a get rich quick scheme. And truth be told: I’d rather hear this advice (book) from someone who has at least lived it, than someone who hasn’t.
How do we solve this: by going back to what worked. Its obvious what we’re doing now does NOT work. In fact, its disastrous. We now have a generation of kids who can’t read, count or write, but they can twerk their asses off and quote every word to a rap song. They’ve been socialized to become modern slaves in private prisons… if they can survive the streets and the AIDS being passed around like free gov’t cheese.
I’ll just say this…plenty of women lose out on great husbands by judging men strictly on their ability to provide only….ask some of these women married to men who are entertainers or basketball players whether providing is the only prerequisite for a good marriage or not. Some of these women get treated like pure crap. First and foremost, you should want a Man who has good character. Most of us do not come from families with a lot of money. When I married my ex-wife, she was an illegal immigrant. It didn’t stop me from pulling her out that situation because I felt that she was the woman for me at that time. A female lion hunts for the food while the male lion protects the cubs. Why? Because a female lion is faster and can hunt prey better than the heavier male lion. So it’s smarter to use her quickness and skill so they can all eat so they can all survive. Homosexuals who look to marry one another look at their significant others as “life partners.” Of course any man wants to provide for his woman but a real woman, once she meets a Man with good character, will partner with this Man if he’s not in the present position to achieve this goal together. That same Man you see on the corner is the same man you could heal. That same Man you see homeless could be the same Man, when your car brakes down in front of him, can do something simple to get your car to start running again. Remember, you are living in an economy in which plenty of providing men lost their jobs. Just because you have been blessed enough to still have one, doesn’t mean you can’t lose yours. How many women out here would be single right now if men would have said “oh you have children. I don’t want to help you with that.” What if Shaq’s stepfather wouldn’t have married his mother? We might have never known a a Shaquille O’neal. Plenty of men took on women with children. It’s plenty of of females who have burdens that men willingly take on out of love for them and learn to love their children as well. Why can’t women do the same? Men mean nothing when they get placed in a position (lose their job) they’re not worth anything anymore? Lol….this mentality is how single women stay single
I have three problems with this book. One writer is single whether it’s by choice or not she is once again single herself, so sadly she’s no different than women who have divorced and have not been able to remarry, because they haven’t found someone new. I know it sounds cold, so forgive me I don’t mean any harm in saying that since her husband passed away, but I’d like to say people who have been married for a while are kind of out of touch with dating and etc and it shows in this book.
Two the chapter on Gold Diggers *Shakes head* The worst thing a woman can do is dumpster dive for a man! If a man cannot be a good provider for you and a family then you might as well move on! Potential is great, but do you know how many women make the mistake of working two jobs to help support their families, because their man has “untapped potential” You are not a gold digger, because you want a man that can be a good provider for you and your kids or future kids if you don’t have any. Since, the beginning of time women wanted the men that were the best hunters, and protectors. Yes, we have evolved since then, but imagine a cave woman spending her life with a man with untapped potential she and her offspring would starve to death waiting on this man to bring food back for their young. Sure, it’s not about the clothes, cars and etc it is on the other hand about the education, and earning power and if a man doesn’t have it move on! Settling down with someone just because they are a good Christian and you love them is not enough. There are lots of good Christian men that make money and are ambitious enough to tap into all of their potential.
Three – The churches are full of single women that haven’t a clue about how to have a relationship. Just like secular relationships end in divorce so do relationships between Christians. Finding someone with similar personality types, interests, and passions doesn’t happen if you just sit on the sofa. Getting out in the world and celebrating your life and finding someone to do it with you is a good start to finding a good person who will love you as a human and spiritual being. The expectations in this book for finding love are based on the 1950’s idea pre-Vietnam when we didn’t lose a large population of men to early death. I’m not insisting that Christian women spend time in bars, night clubs or crack houses, but I am insisting that if you want love to find you don’t hide in your house!
To God be the Glory!!
I enjoyed reading the book! A must read to all females! Choose God first before a man!! Love it!
I read this book, and I have to be truthful… It brought tears to my eyes,no, actually I cried like a baby…not because the book was sad, but because i saw parts of my past, parts of my present… and if i don’t pray for restoration…. It could be my future…I am so thankful… to have a copy of this book, and I will share it with every female that I meet and discern that they need it…
I have a niece that I have never met, but am so proud and honored to be called Auntie by her… I cherish this book because it is signed by her…. Diane Melissa Hudson…GOD BLESS YOU.
Nice and inspirational