(ThyBlackMan.com) I was on the bus reading this book I’m currently enthralled in titled, “Don’t Play in the Sun: One Woman’s Journey Through the Color Complex” by Marita Golden. This woman saw the book and asked what it was about and I explained to her it was about the issue of skin-tone amongst black women. She then continued to ask me questions about why I’m reading it, about myself and what I do. I told her I work mainly with young black girls instilling in them a sense of self-love and an awareness of their worth and that my ultimate goal is to uplift black women. And then she looks at me somewhat shocked but understanding and says,” Why are you only concerned about self-love and the well-being of black women, and not all women, isn’t that kind of racist?” The bus had just arrived at my stop, when she asked the question, so I had to get off the bus before I could respond. As I walked to Trader Joe’s, I 
thought about her question, and I could see where she was coming from, why she and other women would probably think the same thing.
Then I begin to feel a little bit on the defensive, I felt my shoulders tense and thought to myself, who is this white woman (being that I was in San Francisco, she could of been any ethnicity, I just know she wasn’t black) to tell me I’m being racist, with her long stringy hair!!! And then it hit me (mainly because I’m reading a book about self-love and colorism amongst black people, especially women), aside from being a black woman, that anger right there, is why I focus on black women, specifically young black women. Immediately, I attacked her in my mind because she was WHITE she had LONG and STRINGY hair. Does it really come down to image when it is in regard to self-love of black women? No, of course not, but everything else in the world tells us differently.
Am I concerned about all women, of course I am. But why do I need to focus on uplifting you and telling you, that you are beautiful when everything in this society does it every day?!! I don’t mean to bunch all non-black women together, but in this case I’m going to have to, because for the most part they all have LONG STRINGY hair. Don’t get me wrong, all women have their own set of problems, whether it be poverty, abuse, drugs, children, or self-love issues and I empathize with them, but my concern is with black women, especially young black women.I was fortunate enough to have a family that always told me I was pretty, cute or beautiful, even at my worst. Had it not been for my family, however divided we may have been, I would have been one of those girls that would hop from one man to the next needing him to tell me I was beautiful. I would have been one of those girls that fought every day because I didn’t know another way to deal with the internal ugliness I felt. I would have stayed the girl I was in high school until 12th grade that walked around trying not to make eye contact with anyone. It wasn’t because I didn’t feel pretty, or I didn’t have friends, because I was involved in a lot of stuff in high school and I had friends. It was because I didn’t feel black enough; therefore I didn’t feel good enough for anything!! This is why I focus black women.
I can’t even count how many times throughout my life someone has called me “White-washed” or what’s worst, how many times I’ve said it to myself and used it as justification for how I’ve acted in some situations. This is why I focus on black women, because we have gotten so used to people putting us down, we do it to ourselves, without even thinking sometimes. I’ll be the first to admit that growing up I had very few close black girlfriends (especially in high school, which is where the most damage occurs to a person’s sense of self), and I used to tell myself it was because they were too “ghetto” or they thought I wasn’t black enough (which in many cases that was the reason). But really deep down inside, I didn’t want to be around them because then I was like them, and the world wouldn’t approve and besides I wasn’t “Black enough” so what did it matter? This is why I focus on black women. Society has taught us to hate ourselves and our sisters, and when I say sisters I mean every shade of black women, from the lightest to the darkest. There aren’t billboards, television ads, or music videos that tell us every day that we are beautiful, because WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!! This is why I focus on black women.
I do it for the dark-skin girl that thinks she isn’t good enough because all the dark-skin men are with light-skin women. I do it for the light-skin girl that thinks she is only good enough to be arm candy. I do it for the black women that say they don’t date black men and for the black women that only date black men, because you are GOOD ENOUGH for anyone!! I do it for the black women whose mothers never told them they were beautiful, because nobody ever told their mothers they were beautiful. I do it for the girl that is told she is not black enough and believes it, I do it for the black girl that is told she it is too “ghetto” and believes it, because you are just as GOD made you, whether it’d be loud or quiet. I do it for myself, because I can’t say I love myself, if I don’t love my sister that is me. Whether she is “ghetto” or “white-washed“, light-skin or dark-skin, we share the same history, pain and resilience of the black woman.
As I write this I think of two verses from two different songs. The first song is by an artist named Rebakah, that wrote a song titled Little Black Girl in the verse she says “Little black girl this a song for you, in case the world is busy and forgets to sing to you , they’ve more important ships to sail like building malls and saving whales, so they don’t see that you are the real endangered species.” And the other is the hook from one of Hip-Hop artist, Talib Kweli’s most underrated tracks titled Black Girl Pain “My mama said life would be so hard, growin up days as a black girl scarred, In so many ways though we’ve come so far, they just know the name they don’t know the pain, So please hold your heads up high, don’t be ashamed of yourself know I, will carry it forth til the day I die.” So to answer her question “Isn’t that kind of racist?” Nah, it’s for the love of my beautiful black sistas!
Staff Writer; Nia Revonne Watkins
More of this talented sista work can be found over at; Nubian In the City.
