Sunday, August 14, 2022

Getting A Divorce…

June 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Misc., News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( If anyone ever tells you that the married life is easy, you should either laugh in their face, or ask them if you could write a book about their life’s story. You will surely make millions from it.

Relationships and marriage can be tough, but they shouldn’t be impossible. A lot of folks would characterize their relationships as not only impossible, but unbearable. But we must ask ourselves, “How did we get to this point?”

At one time, we were inseparable; so happy in love, and could not fathom spending time away from each other. Now, we can’t stand to be together.

Legally, divorces can be categorized into two types – absolute and limited. An absolute divorce is declared by a judge. This is when a marriage is terminated based on some sort of marital misconduct. As a result of an  absolute divorce, both persons are once again classified as being “single“. Whereas a limited divorce is often described as a separation decree, where the right to cohabitate may be terminated, but the marriage is undissolved and the status of both parties is not altered.

In response to the outdated absolute divorce law which required proof by the divorcing party that the divorcee had committed one of several acts of misconduct, many states now have a “no-fault divorce” statute. This just basically states, “We couldn’t get along.”, and holds neither party at fault for indiscretions. The no-fault divorce statute eliminates the displeasing requirement of having to spell out the offending persons’ issues, while trying to protect your own privacy.

Believe it or not, in order to have a clean, successful divorce, you may have to do something you probably didn’t do well while married – communicate with your partner. Even worse, communication may be the biggest reason why you’re divorcing in the first place. If you cannot effectively communicate with your spouse during this process, your divorce will take a lot longer and cost more money.

But communicating is a dual process. If your spouse refuses to talk to you, your only alternative may be to deal with him/her through an attorney. If this happens, don’t push it. Keep the lines of communication open on your end, and at some point, everyone will have to talk.

If you cannot afford legal help, you may be able to conduct your own divorce. Doing it yourself means that you do not retain an attorney. You must take responsibility for your case and the legal decisions being made on your case. You should gather information and advice from viable sources, and then — maybe with some help — go over the necessary steps to follow through. This involves finding out what rules and legal standards apply to your case, what you want to happen, and how to get started on your future.

Unfortunately, somewhere between 45% – 55% of marriages end in divorce. Sadly enough, many of those couples should have never been married in the first place, which directly supports the arguments from those who advocate pre-martial courses in U.S. schools.

If you are in the midst of divorce proceedings, or thinking about getting a divorce, be sure to research your options and speak with an attorney if necessary. The relationship may have been difficult, but the road through divorce will be even more difficult if you are unprepared.


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