Tuesday, April 7, 2020

I’m Not Biphobic for Preferencing a Heterosexual Black Man.

March 27, 2020 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Everyone is supposed to love who they choose. We aren’t supposed to be running around here judging people for necessity of their heart. Whether you fell love is fate, or a choice, it is your space to decide. How dare we try to take away the right to choose, I say that because some believe this matter of the heart is more than mere preference. However, it is important to understand preference if the reflection of what is for you and what you desire. It is possible to have a preference without harboring bias or judgement towards anyone. Granted we know there are people that harbor hatred, bias, and many different kinds of phobia. However, just because they exist doesn’t negate the fact that this is not everyone. People want what they want and that is their right.

There are men that do not have a problem being a relationship with a bisexual woman. There are women that do not have a problem being in a relationship with a bisexual man. That is their right, and they should not be judged because of such. However, in most cases they won’t be judged. When the discussion is had in public forums men and women that don’t mind are not slammed. We should also consider that one’s past can be a deal breaker for some. There are people that will not enter into a relationship with someone that has been a drug dealer, been to jail, or has been a stripper. If that is their deal breaker so be it. Even if you don’t like it…you can’t tell them they have to accept something into their that doesn’t fit for them.

I love black men. I think they are absolutely amazing in every way. They are my family members, friends and closest confidants. With that being said when it comes to a romantic relationship I preference black men that are not bisexual. That doesn’t make me a hateful person, and it doesn’t mean I’m biphobic. There is nothing wrong with me dating black men exclusively. This does not mean I have white men. When black people begin to talk about “black lives” and black issues that doesn’t mean we are disregarding any other group. WE battle with this argument as a people all the time. It is baffling to me that we don’t understand such when it comes to preference regarding a relationship.

I’ve decided I will no longer live in fear of the opinions. I won’t subject myself to relationships that don’t work for me because someone else thinks I should, however they won’t live with the consequences. It’s time out for the hypocrisy and name calling…that is also toxic behavior. Everyone should be able to love in the way that best for them, with the person that is best for them, without having to justify that relationship.

This should apply to everyone, and if you feel it doesn’t you are not standing for equality. Everyone is not dealing in hate so let’s stop trying to control the lives of others based on what we want, and how we live. Everyone must discover how love, life and living will best work for them…and live in that truth. I won’t be denied that freedom, nor would I stand by quietly as it is taken from another individual.

Staff Writer; Courtney Yvonne

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