(ThyBlackMan.com) Sometimes, your in-laws can be a real pain. It’s a staple of old, somewhat hacky jokes. It’s possible to have a great relationship with your in-laws or even just a cordial one where no one really has a problem with you and vice versa. At minimum you’re tolerating each other’s existence. When you have a relationship like that, things go smoother and it doesn’t strain your relationship with your partner on that front. Showdowns with the in-laws can get down right brutal though.
Showdowns With In-Laws
Issues with your partner’s family can occur for roughly any reason. We know this. It’s actually odd because you can have an outward relationship with them and think every is good then find out through your partner that their folks do not like you at all. Or that they feel that you’re not the best fit for them.
It can make you salty at most and weary about being around them at minimum. It’s just weird because everyone’s pretending to be cool. Some folks just tend to let these things roll off them like water on a duck and stay focused on what’s important. That’s actually the best approach to dealing with these situations.
Of course, not everyone is level-headed. Some of us just don’t have the time to deal with in-laws’ attitudes or the politics among family members on their side. As we all know, that’s another bag of worms in and over itself. “So-and-so doesn’t talk to so-and-so” but you’re cool with both even though your partner isn’t cool with one of them.
In-Law Politics
That’s another thing that can bring you into conflict with the in-laws. You can be perfectly cool with everyone involved or neutral, not dealing with anyone. The first might mean you’re taking sides while the other just paints you as asocial. There’s just no winning with some folks.
Note that I said “some folks.” You might end up in that rare situation where all feuding parties in this bad blood situation respect that you’re cool with everyone and not taking sides with anyone. This is especially true if that’s just how you are. Your behavior hasn’t changed or anything towards them or in favor of kin they’re on the outs with.
Clashing With Your Partner
Honestly, no one has time for that nonsense and your partner might just be indifferent to it because that’s just the way things are. At the very minimum, your partner should be proactive in mitigating all of that. If they take a “This is between y’all approach” they’re going to have to deal with it as you see fit. If you have to break the whole carton of eggs to make an omelet then they’re just going to have to cope.
And sometimes, they role with your decision or method of dealing with it. Often times, it’s when you end up in a fight with a relative they don’t deal with—which raises the question, why bring you around them at all? I’ve never understood the need to reel people into situations where they have to deal with family members you don’t care for—double points for family members they don’t care for.
At any rate, how you handle things can result in conflict with your partner. They know how you are, they know you’d rather not deal with some of those people, they know that some of them are good in small doses but insist on just hanging out. All of this while bringing you along.
Another thing is that sometimes there are family members on their side who are just awesome to be around but you’re around them for a hot minute. Those are the people you’d rather be around! But no, here you two are, hanging out with the gossiping hens and so on. And that can cause an issue between to two of you if you let it be known.
Not all the time, some partners get it and acknowledge they put the two of you in trash situations with trash people.
Dealing With the In-Laws
Drinking can help deal in-laws you’d rather not be around but that’s not entirely healthy. Especially if you’re just constantly around them. Your best bet is taking more control of your time and letting your partner know you’re not going to be around those folks. They’re bad vibes and you don’t need that. Hell, your partner doesn’t need it either but there are some family obligations and what not.
In cases like that, you can’t play bodyguard to them and just let them deal with their family.
Staff Writer; M. Swift
This talented writer is also a podcast host, and comic book fan who loves all things old school. One may also find him on Twitter at; metalswift.