(ThyBlackMan.com) All around you there are beautiful women. Desperate women who are too broke to pay attention or who have low self-esteem. Women who are willing to sleep with you after 1 dinner, after an intimate phone conversation or even after a little social media sexting. Brothers beware. And while many of them may pretend or may not look like the description I just gave, they are broke, lonely, desperate and possibly not wrapped too tight. The current desperation of African American women is incredible and sadly much more than you would believe. But brothers never stress over getting a woman, ever. Many times it is not your “game”, it is desperate, lonely women or women in need who will “hook up” with a man faster than you can blink – even some who pretend to play hard to get. But watch out because many of them bring drama you don’t need and they can be hard to get rid of. Or when you get rid of some of these opportunists, they may take some of your personal possessions and a lot of your money with them. I have seen it happen a dozen times, strong, intelligent men who are victims of these women and their own hormones. Not a pretty sight, not at all.
Contrary to what many men may believe, there are a ton of women who are easy regardless of how much money you spend on them, what kind of job you have, what you drive or where you live. There are even women, professional or otherwise, who are willing to fall all over you regardless of how you look. But unlike vagina Steve Harvey, I am not going to sell out the brothers. I am going to expose many of the sisters and the games they play. I am not saying only African American women are desperate but they are the subject of this article and this warning. Nor am I saying this of all African American women. But it is true of a whole lot of them.
In Atlanta there are currently at least 20 women for every one man. And if you subtract all the men who are incarcerated, substance abusers, homeless, homosexual or flat broke, the numbers of available heterosexual, healthy men decrease is even more – and women know it. Like I said, never stress over getting a woman. It’s far too easy and ironically almost effortless if you are a decent guy with any type of ambition about yourself, a job and a place to stay. They are noticing you, even when you think they aren’t.
If you can talk the talk or talk a good game, have the other things I just mentioned and you are even remotely a romantic, you likely will have your pick from dozens of available women in any major city in this country. And a well-endowed African American man who is kind-hearted would literally have to beat desperate women off with a stick. Just be careful. And if you mess around and get a woman of this type pregnant, you are in for the ride of your life – right off a cliff, figuratively speaking anyway. Michael Jackson called them “dangerous”. BBD called them “poison”. And yes I echo, never trust a big but and a smile. If you don’t know this already, I suggest you learn fast. If you disagree, you will see and learn – the hard way.
So many women all around you have either been burned by men, had the script flipped on them from the games they played, never seen or been involved in something real and sincere or they are desperately lonely or have low self-esteem. These truths can easily be observed by looking at how often women’s groups try to boost up themselves, their images, their look and their self-worth. That’s because so many of them feel small, unimportant, unwanted. And those who boost empowerment the loudest are usually some of those who feel the smallest. You see, a confident woman with a strong sense of self-worth does not go about her life trying to prove it to the world. Nor does a strong and confident man who is rooted in his identity.
I am married to a beautiful woman so you can forget about her, but years before I was married, I found it shockingly easy to meet women etc. etc. I can recall interacting with 13 women online within a six-month and then meeting all of them during that same time. And here is what was crazy. While I am above average in many ways, I am a romantic, I can talk the talk and I have business about myself, none of those things were necessary for 13 out of 13 women to meet me at my place for our first meeting. I was after a real relationship but if I had just been running game, I could have slept with all 13 women on the first meeting. That is not to brag, that is to say that I was shocked.
I am not advocating this but I have seen a dozen times where guys are ordering up booty to come to their homes like ordering pizza. And no these females I speak of are not prostitutes, they are desperate for attention and affection with little to no respect for themselves. They are blue collar, green collar, white collar or sometimes unemployed. I could not believe how easy it has gotten. And even though women like to proclaim how men are cheaters, you would be surprised how many women cheat and justify it at that. Blaming the men for not giving them enough attention or taking care of their financial wants or because the women got bored or even just because the women are trifling. I would venture to say a huge number of African American women are never settled and always keeping their options open. Always looking for some man who can do for them what they cannot do for themselves. Many of them grow bitter and go home every night alone to feed the “crumb snatchers”, watch TV and bore themselves to sleep. This is happening everywhere almost all the time.
As a marriage family and relationship counselor and mediator, I could tell you some cases that would make you fall right out of your chair. Including ones all up in the church. Including the nice looking feminine and respectful looking church girls and women of almost every adult age. You guys have no idea. And in the warm climates such as Atlanta, when it gets cold outside, the number of available women shoots up through the roof. Know that “circumstantial opportunities” are rampant. But every opportunity is not automatically a good one. So it amazes me why so many of you guys beg women, bow down to whatever women want, waste money in strip clubs and open your wallet every time they snap their fingers. Far too many of you are still being sponsors, paying their bills and getting their hair done so you can seem worthy because you are really covering for your low self-esteem. You don’t have to do that. I promise you don’t. Yes there are so many women in America who need a decent man that you do not have to go out and practically by women or impress them materially. Impress them with who you are. Just be who you need to be. be a decent man, a strong man, a focused and compassionate man.
Don’t let these women fool you. They are not as complicated as they would like to make themselves seem. They want sex just as much as men do, And likely even more. They cheat just as often as men do – and likely even more. They want real relationships and a good man but many of them don’t believe any more good men are available. Show them different. Prove them wrong. Handle your business. I have seen dozens of women allow themselves to be strung along by men for years. To be unappreciated. To be cheated on time after time and then stay right there. To be abused and yet stay right there. I’ve even seen cases where men have brought their friends in to enjoy her as the party yet the woman stayed right there. I have seen cases where the women pay for everything and even send the guys money they have never even met. Yes desperate women all around you. But their girlfriends and their moms have just told them not to appear that way. Pimps know how to spot them but I don’t think much of pimps at all because they are low life predator opportunists of the bad kind. Yet I must concede that pimps know how to spot the very type women that I have named in this article. I am not in any way promoting pimps, I am simply saying that many of the women I speak of exist in every major city in this country and you pass by them likely every day at work, in the grocery store, at the transit station or even in church or the mosque.
Please do not think I’m bragging because I’m really not. I’m simply illustrating a point as I have throughout this entire article. I am sharing the knowledge I have collected from being a relationship counselor. Another example. Years before I even met my wife I spoke on the phone to a woman who ended up being very attractive but not too mentally stable. In other words. Her elevator didn’t go anywhere near the top, it didn’t even have all the buttons for all the floors. She lived in Chicago. But after talking to her on the phone about six times, she told me that if I asked her to marry me she would do it. She had never even met me. Two weeks later she moved to my city and the first thing she did was come to my place. She brought an overnight bag without even telling me and she was good to go. In case you’re wondering what happened, no I didn’t. And no I’m not gay. I realized that if a woman will give it up that quickly and easily, she has done that before, many times before – and that can be hazardous to your health. A booty call was not what I was looking for, even though it would have been fun. But I was more focused than that.
In another case, long before I met my wife, a professional woman came over to my place after accepting my dinner invitation. And yes I’m a brother who can cook. In the middle of watching a movie she asked if she could use my bathroom. But 30 minutes later she was still in there so I went to the door and knocked. I heard the shower running so I asked if she was sick and if everything was alright. She stated that she was fine but she needed one of my long t-shirts to sleep in. Wow. We had not even discussed her spending the night but she had already found a babysitter for her young son and made the arrangements without telling me anything. No I did not go there, not that time. And again no I’m not gay. I know that too easy can also be too dangerous. I was looking for something different then an easy conquest. But the more things like this happened to me and a dozen other guys I know, the more I began to see the desperation of so many women. Like I said, never stress over getting or having a woman. Finding a good one is a different story. I can give you case after case, example after example of proof to support every single claim I am making in this article. And I almost want to spend about 8 paragraphs doing just that. But some of you know this already. Others of you would not believe me and had no idea it was like that.
If you want to see proof of the lonely women all around you, simply notice the faces of the women during Valentine’s Day. Notice the ones who smile at you or who are a little nicer than one would expect them to be. They are likely the women who are alone but who do not want to be. But wait, I didn’t say they don’t have issues. Many of them do. And it would be wise to know that if you see a beautiful heterosexual woman (biologically born as a woman) who is not with a man at all, something is very strange. Just make sure you know what that is before you get involved. The next time you are in the grocery store, notice how many women around you do not have on wedding rings. And those who have no rings but kids with them. These are possible indications of what I speak. All of this being said, my point is this. It is time for good men to return to calling the shots. Not women saying what they are looking for and what they are demanding. If you are a good African American man, you are a rare chocolate diamond or even better, a rare chocolate opal, like me. But you need to know it. And you need to show it. You need to exude confidence, raise your standards, draw lines in the sand and step up to say what you want and need. And regardless of how cute the woman is, how nice of a shape she has, how long her hair is, what is she is willing to do or what she is whispering in your ear, you need to recognize that you are the catch. Yes YOU! You need to know that it’s all about recognizing and realizing what you want and what you need, being a mature man, not a little boy. Being a man who brings things to the table instead of just demanding from it. It’s time to man up, not boy up. And if you do, you are in every position to call the shots a lot more than men have been doing. You don’t have to hunt for women. And you should never come across as desperate because there is no reason for you to be. You don’t have to beg or bow.
The genetics that produced you African American man also produced Kings and Pharaohs. But you have to know who you are or don’t expect a woman to know either. Your strength, your identity and your confidence all have to pour out of you and set the tone for how you are treated, what you accept and what you expect. Just remember it is not based on what you drive, how much you make, where you live, your age, your IQ nor what type of work you do. It is based on who you are. Prioritize your money along with your goals. And if your goal is to win over a woman with what you buy her, shut that down. So many women expect that because so many low self-esteem men do it. A hard reset or reboot is needed my brothers. Being happy with who you are is not the same thing as being happy with where you are in life. You need to keep moving upward progressively because everything in life either stands, dies or grows. And there is a major difference between contentment and complacency. You have what it takes and the women around you need to see it, know it and experience it while you move towards your goals. That means developing higher standards for yourself and stronger expectations for your behavior and character and goals. You cannot just say you are a king, you have to act like one. When you do, the women will find you.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw