Wednesday, March 20, 2019


Children Must Be Taught to Value You.

February 15, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) When you love your children, you want the best for them. You are willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary for them to have everything they need. It is important for babies to come into this world with a hedge of love and protection around them. As they grow, they begin to understand their parents are a source of food, clothes, toys, love, and protection. Parents find joy in knowing their kids can say if you mess with me, I’ll tell my mom and dad, or if something is broken mom and dad will fix it. They look to us to keep them well and to receive a comfort they can find no place else. Even when we must discipline the children, we love they still know they are loved.

One of the most amazing experiences I’ve had as a parent was having to discipline my son, and moments later he came to hug me. Children know they are important in homes that make them a priority. However, parents must be mindful not only to teach their children manners, kindness and appreciation for their interactions with other…but also for their interaction with you. Your children must be taught to respect the fact that you love them, but you also have feelings they must respect.

This can be very difficult when you are trying to give your child everything you never had. When in fact they need all their needs met, some of their wants, and they need to learn how to earn the rest. They must be taught that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and the first person they should learn this with is their parents. Your child won’t take you for granted when they have to acknowledge what you do for them. That is not the same as throwing your sacrifice in their face which can cause parents to be hesitant. Something as simple as your child telling you thank you is teaching them to acknowledge what you do.

Nothing in life is free, and you don’t stop being human because you are a parent. Children throwing bratty temper tantrums is not just bad behavior. It is a selfish act with regard for no one and nothing but themselves and what they want. When you address the tantrum try speaking not only to selfishness, but the rude, mean, and disrespectful behavior they bestowed upon you. You don’t deserve to be treated like a door mat because you love them and put their needs above your own. It is very important to address this behavior and lay a foundation of gratitude with your child when they are young.

When children are taught to reciprocate respect, kindness, and regard for feeling with you as they grow up, they will also learn you are not the fix all in every situation. They will show care and compassion when you are hurting. You will see your child try to care for you when you are sick as they have seen you do for them. This turns into adult children that down feel entitled to your life. They understand yes you are mom and dad, but you are also people independent of them. You have a better chance of raising children that won’t treat you like a servant to them when they are adults and can do for themselves.

Elders use to say, “charity begins at home”. If that is true, the first person they should learn to appreciate is you. They will always know home is a haven, but it can become a place they appreciate verses abuse. When we teach our children to respect what is done for them it will translate positively into how they interact with others in their family and community.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitterhttp://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

 


Comments

2 Responses to “Children Must Be Taught to Value You.”
  1. Trevo Craw says:

    I am currently a marriage, family and relationship specialist and I have counseled thousands of families. I disagree with the author. Children innately value their parents unless something happens that pushed them away. Maybe the problem is the parent, especially when he or she blames the child.

  2. Trevo Craw says:

    They value you when you model that by valuing yourself, them, your relationships and your people. Otherwise its just hypocrisy.

    http://thyblackman.com/2019/02/16/the-lgbtq-black-community-apocalypse/

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