Sunday, November 18, 2018


Simple Things Successful Couples Do That Keep Them Together.

March 28, 2018 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Want a relationship that lasts? The secret to success might be simpler than you think.

Relationships are fragile at first, with studies showing that couples are more prone to breaking up in the first year than at any other time. The reasons for breaking up can range from money issues, an accident, cheating, poor communication skills, and so on. But what are the things that keep power couples together?

Research suggests that the activities successful couples do are simple enough for any couple to implement. Of course, simple does not always equal easy. Simple means not complicated and straightforward. Whereas an easy task is one that requires little self-effort to achieve. With that said, here is what you should start doing if you want your relationship to last for the long haul.

Schedule time for each other.

Remember when you used to date? You would block out time in the evening to catch a movie. Or eat out at a place you both had your eye on. Or maybe you went ice skating at a local rink or took in a comedy show. Were those some of the best days of your relationship?

Having experiences together continues the process of creating good memories that are shared. This is a fundamental necessity for relationships that last. However, before the shared experience comes the practicalities. Which involves your schedule and your partner’s schedule. Discuss ways to spend more time together. And commit to blocking out a certain amount of time per week in your scheduling book or calendar app for the other person.

Go on an adventure together.

You might know that shared experiences keep couples together. Guess what? This is doubly true about shared adventures.

Studies show that when you share an experience, the event is felt more deeply than if you were to experience it alone. In one experiment, participants were given a piece of chocolate and asked to rate its tastiness. Those who ate it with another person rated it as tastier than those who ate it alone.

When you share an experience, it has the power to bond you more closely with the person going through it with you. Which is why we feel such deep ties to our high school crew, or college buddies that we went backpacking with one summer.

But an adventure need not take you across the seas to create this bond. All it takes is trying out something new that you both have not done yet. Whether it is trying out a new cooking style or checking out a new restaurant. Small adventures are everywhere and can be found daily! Some might be right around the next corner!

Talk about ordinary stuff.

A study featured in Psychological Science suggested that conversations thrive on everyday topics. And in fact, talking about out of the ordinary experiences can cause feelings of alienation rather than connection. What’s so great about the ordinary? Asking after your partner’s day, even if you think you know the answer serves a vital function in your relationship. It allows you to take the emotional temperature of your partner and assess their mood and can help you tailor your responses accordingly.

Practice the art of praise.

If you have forgotten why you are still together, this could be a good way for you to get back in touch with those feelings. Thank your partner for simple things. Saying thanks shows the other person that you are not taking them for granted because no one wants to feel unappreciated.

Are you out of the habit of admiring your partner’s qualities? Do you feel a bit out of practice in how to express your admiration sincerely? No need to let your rustiness stop you. A simple way to start a compliment is with “I like the way you…” and then complete the sentence.

Listen with your heart.

It is not enough to hear the words being said. Sometimes, a little decoding is required. The code to deciphering what the other person is saying? Listen to the emotion behind the words.

This takes paying attention to the nonverbal cues that your partner is giving as he or she talks. This is not as complicated as it might sound. All it takes is watching their facial expressions and body language to pick up on their non-verbal communication. The next time you do not understand what your partner is trying to express, try to tap into the emotion behind it all. And that information comes through your eyes and heart.

Staff Writer; Doug Adams


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