Thursday, October 18, 2018

Great Husbands Still Exist.

December 13, 2017 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( There are so many negative stereotypes assigned to black men we often don’t know where to start in the dispelling process. The media tells us we are “super predators”, fatherless, absent fathers, and unable to sustain a family without negative vices. We are told we can’t protect our women, don’t love our women, and don’t honor them through family. It matters not that over 80% of black men are married to black women…the media has managed to convince our women we don’t cherish them.

Brothers be encouraged in knowing we are not the negative image painted. What is said about us exists in every group of people…it is not exclusive to black men. Furthermore, there are many brothers that sacrifice for their family every day, love their wife, and children. It is up us to remember great husbands, and fathers still exist.

Many black men adore their wives. She is his world without question. He lives a life dedicated to the life they live together. No, he isn’t perfect, but he strives everyday to see it that she has everything she needs, and as many of the things she wants that he can provide. This isn’t just an issue of financial status, but he’s there for her emotionally and physically. He supports her dreams, and goals with enthusiasm. No one in the world, not even his children, come before her as he knows she always thinks of the family before herself. Yes, there are men that can’t even entertain the thought of cheating on the woman that is his heart. We do exist…we don’t betray our queen physically, nor emotionally.

There is no room for betrayal, and if we are placed in what seems to be a precarious situation…we make the right choice, and them inform her of what happened. We find time for our wife, even when we are tired, and want to know what’s on her mind. IF need be we can turn off the game, or put down the controller, to giver her our attention. None of this makes one a push over or less than a man. Quite the contrary, being able to fully commit to one’s family, starting with your wife, is indeed part of what makes you a man of character.

Our sons and daughters grow up seeing a man committed to their mother, and them on a daily basis. This is not a fairy tale…it is the real like of many black men that the world wants you to believe never existed. We are involved in our community, church, children’s school, and he stand with our wife. Never allow anyone to make you feel this is unobtainable or a boring life. When you decide to marry the above mentioned is a fulfilled life of peace, and love. Yes, every marriage has its rough patches, but it doesn’t have to be due to trust & infidelity issues. Your union still consists of two imperfect people learning everyday how to walk as one. We are strong protectors, lovers, and fathers in our home, and it is important that our narrative is told.

We don’t have to validate stereotypes by allowing them to shape our behaviors. Furthermore, just because we may not have had a father in the home doesn’t mean we can’t be great husbands, and father’s ourselves. We must band together as men to support one another in the protection of family, which is vital to the uplift of the black community. We can’t expect women to carry this responsibility alone, and we can not lead from the sidelines. It starts with each man committing to stand by his wife, in integrity, loving her and leading his family. This isn’t something new because many of us are already walking in this stead, and will continue to do so regardless of the lie that says we don’t exist.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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