Black Men No Means No – The Darrell Williams Rape Case. : ThyBlackMan.com

Friday, August 1, 2014


Black Men No Means No – The Darrell Williams Rape Case.

July 25, 2012 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

(ThyBlackMan.com) I was deeply concerned about the recent rape conviction of Oklahoma State University basketball player Darrell Williams.   Williams broke down in tears in the courtroom, an understandable reaction in which he expressed outwardly what many of us would feel on the inside.  He’s going to prison, and getting a life sentence.  While his sentence is not technically going to incarcerate him for life, prison has become a life sentence when you consider the permanent psychological damage, the STDs spread from prison rape, and the lifelong marginalization from economic and political systems of America.

In that regard, going to prison for even 24 hours can  be tantamount to a life sentence.

I can’t let Darrell Williams off the hook for what happened on the night in which he allegedly committed his crime.  If he did indeed do something illegal, then prison time should be a consequence.  But one of the statements about the story that concerned me the most was one I found on ESPN:

Defense attorney Cheryl Ramsey referred to the case as a “he said, she said situation” during her closing argument. She noted that no one heard anyone scream at the party, saw any struggles or reported anything inappropriate. Neither of the women suffered any cuts or scratches, and no clothing was torn after the alleged incident.

Forgive me for saying this, but when we make a legal decision that will ruin a young man’s life, we should probably have more evidence than the statements made by an alleged victim at a party where everyone was probably drinking.  If I go to the police department and say that someone groped me, it’s hard to imagine the authorities sending that person to prison without surpassing the  standard of unreasonable doubt.  In the case of Darrell Williams, doubt is beyond reasonable.

The second thought that went through my mind after hearing about the incident is one about the consistent threats to your freedom and livelihood that can occur when you head off to college.  Every single year, hundreds of women are raped on college campuses (not just groping, but actual rape), and many of these sexual assaults occur when there is alcohol somewhere in the background.  The idea that college is a place where you get drunk off your butt every weekend is antiquated and dangerous.  Simply letting the chips fall where they may at one drunken party after another is a good way to find yourself dead or in prison for a very long time.

Here are some quick tips to men who want to go to college and NOT get convicted or rape:

1) Avoid alcohol if you can or at least minimize your consumption of it: People do things when they’re drunk that they might not do otherwise.  It’s quite possible that reduced inhibitions led to Darrell Williams or some of his friends feeling that they could touch women without their permission.  People are flirting and everyone’s just hanging out, so it’s also quite possible that the women allowed themselves to be touched.  When everyone’s been drinking, almost no one has very much credibility in the court of law, because decision-making is horrifically flawed.

2) Don’t sleep with women you don’t know very well:  If a woman wants to sleep with you on the first date or after a night at the club, understand that you are putting your entire life and future in the hands of a complete stranger.  Rather than jumping for joy at the chance to have meaningless sex, you might want to jump out of bed and run for the hills.  If you don’t believe me, just ask Kobe Bryant, the married man who decided to sleep with a woman he barely knew with no condom back in 2004.  She almost sent him to prison, took all his money, ruined his family and stole everything he’d worked for over his entire life.  No sex is good enough to be worth that kind of risk, and Kobe should never have been there in the first place.

3) No means no, no exceptions:  There was a time where men and women could play the cat and mouse game – she plays hard to get and you consistently chip away at the barriers in order to get her to do the thing that you and she both know that she wants to do anyway.  Whatever man, that crap is for the birds.  In the age of political correctness, “no” always means “no.”  I don’t care if her eyes are saying “yes,” and she’s entirely naked, licking her lips with her legs spread out.  If she says “no,” then you need to say “no thanks.”  Real women don’t play stupid games that might destroy your life.

I hope that Darrell Williams can recover after this incident.  Groping is wrong, we know that.  But it’s hard to say that he deserves to go to prison with evidence this sketchy.  The key point to keep in mind, however, is that it’s not simply a matter of Williams being sent to prison for a crime he did not commit.  Rather, its a matter of us understanding how to avoid these kinds of situations in the first place.  College is not a place for drunken parties, court cases, and a pile of broken dreams.  It’s a place to get an education and create  bright future for yourself.  All that other stuff is just a pile of meaningless distractions.

Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins
 
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.
 
 
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Comments

7 Responses to “Black Men No Means No – The Darrell Williams Rape Case.”
  1. Daniel says:

    What’s truly unfortunate is the way our current penological institutions are operating. Men who are sentenced to prison should go there AS punishment, not FOR punishment. It is disgraceful that our society turns a blind eye to this epidemic; and it’s every color and creed that does it. Furthermore, Dr. Watkins is 100% right about prison affecting this boys entire life. The list of corporations and businesses that hire convicts grows shorter and shorter each year. I pray he will come out of this situation a whole and complete person who can benefit society!

  2. STOP HAVING SEX WITH WHITE WOMEN! Nothing good has ever come of it. Did we not learn anything from Kobe Bryant???

  3. @RJA3 says:

    Man I live down here in this town and they do this stuff to blackmen all the tyme. They accused this blackman up here for identity theft and didnt have a shred of evidence proving he commited the act. the TRUTH! and Darrell’s case he passed two lie detector tests and the one of the girls failed and the prosecutor still proceeded. They kicked a black juror off the docket because during Voir doir she told them itz probably a case of rich white girl oogling over BLACK stud and Daddy finding out.

  4. Clarence says:

    You forgot the video cam you will need to document positive and absolute consent at every stage lest you be vulnerable to this sort of thing.

    Yes, it really is that bad, at least if you are sexually active with multiple women in the hookup culture. I’d say one or two in a hundred are crazy/angry enough to try something like this, so you do the math.

  5. Scott says:

    The False rape society and the innocence project are both sites and organisations that raise awareness of the falsely accused of rape.

  6. hoodgirl says:

    Great Article. I can recall when my nephew was a college student living off campus. He got really friendly with this college girl to the point that she routinely hung out at his apartment. One night my nephew called me in a frantic stating that he and this girl were kissing then all of a sudden she started yelling NO then ran out of his apartment. I immediately told him not to ever see that girl again because it was clear that she had psychological issues that needed to be dealt with. Thank GOD the girl didn’t accuse my nephew of rape because today he is 28 and a Managing Pharmacist.

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