Saturday, October 20, 2018

Black Women who oppress other women, again…

November 28, 2011 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Somehow, of course, a conversation on a Black blog I visited once in a post about Black women in general and their beauty turned into a conversation about Black women’s body and what types the male commenters like the best, which is totally sexist. The conversation I joined in on was about Black women’s body types and why we allow men’s bigoted preferences to divide us as Black women/women of color and cause us to tear each other down. It was basically a conversation about, skinny/thin, average, curvy, thick, and fat women’s bodies. There were men participating in the conversation, most of them saying stupid, racist, and sexist things against the women of their own race, such as “a black woman should be light and breezy” (some bloke claiming to be Black from the UK). One commenter, Jasmine, self-identified as thin, female, and Black.

Jasmine made a comment to a male commenter saying, ‘Oh so because you’re fat, and like fat women, you put down thin women like me.’

I had to stop the train on that one because it was not okay for her to make bigoted comments in order to defend her thin privilege and insecurity. To boot, he hadn’t said anything to warrant such a remark.

All during the conversation, Jasmine kept suggesting and prodding and trying to get me to admit that I was a lesbian suffering from a bad case of “bitter big girl” syndrome, as if this would discredit anything I had to say to other Black women about how we oppress each other. Seeing that I was calling her out, Jasmine insisted that a heterosexual Black woman doesn’t care what another Black woman thinks about her, because her endgame is to get a Black man.

So, in essence her comment was this: A Black woman must be a lesbian to care about what other Black women say about her because a heterosexual Black woman is only concerned about what a man thinks of her.

It’s a very similar comment to The reason that a woman gets dressed in the morning is for a man.

If the only reason you get dressed to look nice in the morning is for a man to look at you, you’ve got bigger issues to worry about and you need some alone time rethink your priorities, Ms. Queenly says. If you’re a man who believes this is true, then get over yourself, the world does not revolve around you.

Jasmine went on to say that men may have flings with thick/fat/bigger women but at the end of day they want a thin woman. Jasmine obviously thought there was nothing wrong with validating her own thin privilege while simultaneously putting down “bigger” women as sex objects that Black men only use.

Obviously, Jasmine’s psychology studies validates her right to be a bigot—NOT.

1) First if all, I don’t care how many hours you spend at the gym or what kind of diet you’re on, no privilege is earned, not even the privileges associated with thinness.

2) My sexual orientation shouldn’t have even come into the conversation as an issue no matter how I identify.

3) What I do have a problem with is thin women who act out their bigotry, insecurity/jealousy, and hatred on others.

4) Women NEED to call out other women and everybody else who choose to liberate some folks while holding everybody else down.

This is how we have been kept divided for centuries by white supremacy in America—“light-skinned” from the “dark-skinned”, fat from thin, fine hair from course hair, female from male, poor from wealthy, young from old, the house slave from the field slave. As Black women, and our Black male allies too, we need to stop holding each other’s head under the water so a few of us as individuals can stay afloat for a few seconds longer. Because, in the end, we’re all going to drown if we don’t support each other and see the beauty and inherent worth in one another.

Staff Writer; Shannon Rucker

For more articles written by this talented sista, do check out; The Black Feminist Blog.

Also connect with this sista via twitter; Ms. Queenly.



6 Responses to “Black Women who oppress other women, again…”
  1. James says:


    The movie does go beyond the easy things to notice because it digs into the TRUTH.

    However, Taiesha, I hope you don’t try to kill yourself because of your insecurities about yourself because, you will go straight to HELL and not pass go or collect $200.00. You’re only as beautiful, successful, and other positive aspects as you make yourself to be; no matter how much you keep blaming everyone else for hating yourself; it all starts and ends with “SELF”.

    ‘Attractive’ is not just physical. Yes, you did say you’re overweight and all other negativities about yourself but, I’ll bet you’re smart as hell, have a sense of humor, a pretty smile, smell sweet, and have a lot of positive traits about you that other women either don’t have and/or they just refuse to allow those lights to shine.

    So, if you’re jealous of them ‘bitches’; have you ever imagined that a lot of women may also be jealous of you?

    GOD CREATED ALL OF US IN A VERY UNIQUE WAY THAT ONLY EACH INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEING HAS. . . . . . . You may have unique traits that no body else on earth has, but you. So, give yourself a break and you might be surprised what you find on the inside that makes you special and unique; compared to them ‘bitches’; as you stated.

    God bless you.


  2. Isa says:

    The other day I saw in a picture for the first time in my life a black woman putting her daughter on her shoulders. Guess what? Her daughter is biracial (White and Black). It speaks volume!!!The situation is deep and too many sisters have issues with our color caste system in our community. I really wonder if black women truly love each other. How come I never saw before a black woman putting on her shoulders her black daughter?

  3. Patsy says:

    I don’t think that males are to blame for violence between females. There are females who are mean, misogynous and so on. This is universal. The movie Geisha talks about this and believe me it is not only fiction.

  4. Taiesha says:

    I hate to say this but i am sorry. I am very black and would jump at the first chance I had to put another “sister” down I am very bitter unattractive over weieght and under educated. It does infuriate me to see any women get attention because I never get any myself. In this world you get no where unless your attractive and thats the truth. So honestly fuck them bitches I have never had one ever try to uplift meand at least I can admit that I am a very jealous insecure women. Fuck who cares I have been considering killing myself for a.long time anyway.Then I can be free…..

  5. Eleanie says:

    Let’s remember some folks love to put others down to feel good about themselves.

  6. James says:


    Awesome article.

    No, I don’t think you suffer from “bitter big girl” syndrome; you’re a beautiful black woman who’s preferences are not the same as Jasmines’ as well as, your choices that you’ve accepted for your own reasons. This goes the same way with men yet, it hurts to hear some of the “Insecure B******T” that comes outta some black mens’ mouths; specifically about our black women.

    I think if ALL black people in America would just jump at the opportunity to learn cultural diversity and the many aspects of other races of color; this whole “oppression” attitude would never exist at the levels it is today. I’m a proud black man who has traveled all over the world and a lot of assumptions I had about other races of color were false and insecure.

    I learned to speak 2 other languages, and a lot of other interesting things about races of color as well as, using these traits in society to better myself, my family, and fellow man. Not to say that other black men & women can/cannot do the some of the same things I’ve done regarding “cultural diversity”; just that it takes the “APPLICATION OF SELF” in any/all aspects of life because no other person is going to set goals; get better/further educated; stay on 1 job for close to 18 years; get CLEAN & SOBER and stay that way for over 13 years; etc. etc. etc. etc. for me, but me;(with GODS’ guidance & direction).

    That’s my take on this issue; from a broad and condensed perspective of “life experiences”.

    ***** Some readers may reply w/negative/positive opinions to my post but in the end; it’s just like a “HEART/SPIRIT”; everyone has one *****

    SMILE SMILE SMILE (at least smile in the mirror because, that’s where it starts and ends—–with “SELF”). . . . .

    The bottom line to all of this is: GOD GAVE MANKIND 1 THING (‘CHOICE OF FREE WILL’). . . . . All other life aspects play into the dynamics of “CHOICE”; whether it be individual or collective.

    GOD created mankind with ALL THAT IS GOOD IN HIM; GOD just gave us 1 thing, instead of creating us with it (‘CHOICE OF FREE WILL’). . . . .

    Does all of this make me any better/lesser than any other human being on earth???? NO!!!! I just chose to go another way in life than others’ have; nothing more or less than that.


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