(ThyBlackMan.com) I have to thank God that I don’t have a rebellious wife. I have a good wife. A great wife. A phenomenal wife. I listen to her, I count on her input, and I respect her as my equal, yet with different roles and responsibilities than I have been given. Still, I am the head of my household. But it was not always like that in my past relationships, just as it is not like that for many of you even now. Yet far too many of you men live with, tolerate and succumb to a rebellious woman. So it is imperative that we tackle this issue of rebellious women who are likely become rebellious wives once they get married.
The Bible says rebellion is like witchcraft. And it further says it is better to sit on the roof of a house top than to deal with a quarreling or confrontational woman like that. Rebellion is the breach to these things. Still, maybe a few men think the woman will change once she gets married, that you can change her, that you can handle it , or that it’s just a matter of working things out. Wrong! When it comes to rebellious women, their issues generally run so deep that the solutions can take quite a long time to fix, if ever.
So I tell you today, no matter how much you love her, if she is rebellious, leave her alone. Of course all of this is not one-sided, it has everything to do with you doing your part as well as being who and what you need to be for her. So let’s not forget that. If you are a little boy, pretending to be a man, don’t expect her to readily follow you. If you are running game and don’t have a plan for both of you to win, don’t expect her to follow you. So, when you call it rebellion, make sure it is genuine rebellion she is displaying, not something that you are triggering by what you are doing.
A rebellious wife is a woman who does not respect her husband. Nor does she respect the order that God has established. She instead respects trends, unproven traditions, what other women are doing and messages that divide and destroy families. Therefore, she challenges and confronts you, she debates with you and positions her self and her attitude against you instead of trusting you and trusting in your judgment. Even when she is quiet, these are the things that go through her mind.
Insecurities, daddy issues, feminism and the “Me Too” movement have all pushed the rebellious spirits within many women to the surface. They play the victim, whether they are actual victims or not. They buy into that entire ideology. American society, the courts and even law enforcement play right into that unbalanced, ungodly ideology and feed the continual allowance and acceptance of rebellious women.
Your wife is supposed to stand behind you, meaning that she has your back. Your wife is supposed to build and encourage you, not tear you down. Your wife is supposed to support your vision. And yes, according to the Bible, your wife is supposed to submit to her husband. So for all those women who refuse and rebel, they may appear to have a problem with you, but they really have a problem with what God himself commands them to do. To those women I say that is just too bad. Keeping in mind that the husband is to be a leader, and head of the household, not a ruler.
Today women, especially women in the African-American community, are promoting the concept of being a “boss”. But life is neither about emulating, Scarface nor the Godfather, especially if you are a woman. Clearly there is nothing wrong with a woman being the boss if she owns a company or runs a department. But at home with her husband, all that boss stuff needs is divisive poison, which should stay outside of the door.
The word of God must settle the issue period. Why? Because it has proven the test of time for billions of people upon millions of marriages for thousands of years. Who are any of us to question that? The rebellious woman certainly does not have a better solution that creates a win-win for a marriage relationship and family household.
So let’s take a look at what the Bible says about women and submission to their husbands. Keeping in mind what it says that men are supposed to do and be for our wives. A win-win can never be created when a relationship is one-sided.
EPHESIANS 5:22-29
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29
The husband is the head of the household, regardless of whether or not the wife thinks he is qualified. The wife should submit to her husband in “everything “, not just when she agrees with him. He is the head of the household because God says so, not because he is perfect, nor anywhere near perfect. He isn’t. I know I’m not perfect, not even close. But my heart, spirit and attitude are in the right place. My motives are pure toward my wife. And my goal is to always create a win-win situation.
The queen must remember who the king is. This is exemplified in marriage, as a reflection of Christ and the church (his bride). The lioness must remember her place and the role of the male lion. This is not chauvinistic, this is scripture, God, his message, marriage that works, and a global concept that has been watered down and all but wasted away in America.
Be very careful of manipulative women who end up using their seduction to get their way. If you open your eyes and think with the right head, you can probably see clues before you marry the woman. Realistically speaking, don’t think she is just going to flip that switch off and change when she says “I do”. So guys you need to be watching and listening just as much as you are looking at you a woman and experiencing her charms. Controlling women, manipulative women and overbearing women are all likely to exhibit rebellion toward their husbands. And definitely beware of those who play the victim in order to covertly rebel.
American liberalism has blurred the roles of men and women that have proven the test of time and yet not provide anything better. That is problematic, because if you cannot fix a problem or contribute a solution, you are part of the problem that makes everything worse.
I do want to reiterate, guys you should have a realistic vision and a plan to implement that vision, if you want the woman to believe in you and support what you are doing. Treat her the way you want to be treated. And if you have these things in place, do not settle for a rebellious woman. All she will do is work against you and take from what you are trying to build for both of you.
So many of you already know what I am saying is true. But you had to find out the hard way. And for those who have not found out yet, I hope you are listening. Because if you aren’t, you will find out the hard way.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw
A Free Thinker, who loves to talk about Politics, Religion, etc. Also, all about uplifting the Black Community even if it doesn’t fit your mindset. One may hit me up at; TrevoCraw@ThyBlackMan.com.
Thank you for this article. I thought I was incorrect on my stance concerning some issues I have been dealing lately with my wife. To be frank, I have always known in my heart, that the woman I have been married to and with for the last decade is a rebellious woman. Often times I have shown her facts directly from scripture, and her response is “You cannot impose your convictions on me”. My response typically is, “Honey these opinions are not mine, they are inspired through the writers of scripture meaning they are from God himself. It doesn’t matter what I think or you think, God’s word stands supreme.”
To be clear, I also acknowledge my role and responsibility as a husband. So God’s word also applies to me, and I must follow it as best as I can. As you stated in your article, “I am not perfect”. Nonetheless God is supreme, I answer to him and my wife is to submit to my judgment so long as I am submitted to God. I have been blessed to have a fantastic career that allows my wife to stay at home and raise both our boys for as long as she wants. In fact, unlike her mom, my mom and countless elders before us who have had to work to support their families, my wife has not had to do this as of 4 years ago. We attend church of which I am a member, and our financial needs have always been met (praise God).
Lately, my wife has been getting into the trend of body piercings and tattoos. In particular there is one piercing that she is bent on getting called the “Medusa Piercing”. When you do the research you see that there is strong spiritual significance regarding this particular piercing with ties to New Age Movements, Ancient Hinduism, and as far back as Greek mythology. Although sharing this information with my wife, her response is that she will get it anyway, that I can impose my biblical views on her, and that her choice has nothing to do with spiritual reasons. She fails to see that worldly trends and pursuits are leading her slowly away from God and NOT towards him.
Please note that this is not a first time offense, and that there is a long history of this kind of behavior in our marriage. I have been patient with her struggles but the rebellious attitude has started to affect my mental health, peace and sanity. To the point where I am falling behind at work as I am unable to focus, due to the conflicts at home. I have told her I will draw a firm line at this and I will NOT budge on my stance regarding her behavior. I do not want a divorce, but I will do I need to do to preserve my sanity and move forward with my life (of course, my sons will never be neglected, and I do not intend to do so. They will always have me in their lives). Her response is as you would expect: Insistent, Resistant, and Rebellious even making fun of me at this point. Not sure what comes next for us but asking for prayers! Thank you for this forum.