(ThyBlackMan.com) One needs an open mind to understand what men deserve. Beyond money, sexual needs and wants, and achieving high positions in the corporate world, there’s something about men which is often neglected. In fact, nobody wants to talk about those things because the general perception about men is ‘they work in silence and that’s what it means to be a man.’ But we often forget (or simply ignore) the fact that men also suffer in silence. That silence is not what they chose, it is imposed.
A man can’t fail because if he does, he will be treated differently. A woman sitting at home waiting for a new job is never a problem, but a man who is planning a career change is a problem. His decisions are discussed openly (and often shamelessly) in his own family. “Don’t cry like a woman, be a man.” Why because you’re expected to suffer in silence. You are expected to provide the very best to your family, and needless to mention that you are not supposed to fail because ‘real’ men do all that.
Real men need to pay bills, they need to meet their family’s financial demands regardless of how practical those demands are. They have to take care of their parents while dealing with their partner’s family and friends. You aren’t a real man if you can’t satisfy your partner’s emotional or physical needs. That said, you’re also expected to equally provide support in family affairs no matter if you have to dress up like Cinderella at your child’s birthday party. You’re expected to show up at a family gathering, no matter how tired or sick you feel. Saying ‘no’ is never an option unless you want to be judged or like being called immature or lazy.
The fact is that, such things are told to men so many times that they become a part of their lives. Men not only work physically to meet all the demands, but they also work mentally to solve problems to be a hero for their daughters, to be the best person their wife, parents, siblings or friends can have. It’s true that many women have to go through similar situations in life, but women are not expected to be that strong all the time but men are expected to do everything in silence if you look at it from a broad perspective.
People often fail to understand that even good men have limits. They always see themselves as protectors, but why do we forget that they also need some time away from all those things. Why the world makes them feel like if they ask for help or if they break down for a second, they will lose the love and respect. Seriously, men don’t deserve this conditional love.
Here’s what a good man deserves
A good man never expects his loved ones to deal with pain or stress alone, but he deserves someone on his side when he is going through the same. And if you think it’s all about cheerleading and motivation, it’s not. There are serious things in life and sometimes, even the strongest men need someone they can comfortably talk to.
Men can also get lonely and they deserve someone who understands them. A good man never expects people to read his mind, but when serious discussions turn into fights or insults, he chooses silence. After all, he is a man and no matter what you say, men and women are different.
A man wears different hats just like women do. He deserves to be seen as a man. It’s important because relationships and roles make it hard for an individual to grow. A father, husband, brother or son, he can play many roles, but as an individual, he also has his own interests, dreams, beliefs, and personality which should not be snatched away from him. He deserves the support that he needs for his mental and spiritual growth.
Interestingly, most of the people during different phases of life tell men who should be their priority. First, it’s parents, then wife, then children and so on. Men deserve to be heard and feel appreciated. And it’s not just about self-love, he deserves the same (if not more) amount of love, care and affection that he gives while playing those respective roles in the family.
No man is perfect, no woman has it all, but these are the rights every man can expect his loved ones to meet. Trust, loyalty, time, and love are not a privilege, they are natural expectations as long as they are given unconditionally.
Staff Writer; Corey Shaw
Have any Tech Tips? News? Hit up our Tech Guru at; CoreyS@ThyBlackMan.com
