(ThyBlackMan.com) The holiday season has just pasted for most if the country. I say most because the part of holiday season [Mardi Gras] is about to start in New Orleans, and across LA. We saw Christmas and New Year’s fall on a Sunday. There was an underlining religious discussion to be had amongst those of faith, and to be honest, it was very disturbing to say the least. In a time whereby we should be concerned about the emotional and mental state of many and offering as much hope and light as possible some chose shame. Shame if you weren’t at church on the holiday Sunday, shame if you were big into the holiday spirit, shame over a Christmas tree, shame over the New Year’s champagne…shame if you showed up to the house of worship not looking as some felt you should. It was too much. In these spaces the needs of our fellow worshipers were nonexistent. Basically, the shame too many experienced is a look at what happens all year long. The doors of the church should have been open to receive whoever was willing and needed to be in a space that was about pouring out as much love as possible. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
What does it cost us to show love and kindness to others. Were we not instructed that this love and kindness would be bring people in? It is supposed to be one of the very basis of our witness, yet we seem to gatekeep by trying to decide who deserves such and who does not. Everyone is entitled to feel as they will regarding holidays and celebrations. Furthermore, the judgement we reserve for others is one we don’t want to reckon with in our own life.
The hypocrisy is no one wants to be told they shouldn’t celebrate whatever they are partaking of, and they will often use the same reasoning they condemned. I love Mardi Gras season, but please understand parades roll on Sunday. Some of the same people fussing about the previous holidays are also on the parade routes. I’m pretty sure everything around them isn’t holy, and why would one be in such an environment after partaking of the Word. Do you see how judgmental that sounds?
In all seriousness, it is far time the church looks to evaluate the consequence of shame and condemnation. There is a generation plus there is more than willing to forsake the assembly to protect their mental health, and spiritual wellness. This is not an “excuse” to forsake holiness, or a reason to live recklessly. This is a stance that is taken because correction and condemnation are not the same, and one has no place if there is to be spiritual growth. The church can not continue to justify shaming people to hell when it is love and kindness that helps a soul to salvation. If a member hasn’t been to service, or chose not to be on a holiday, this doesn’t remove their salvation…it doesn’t make them less than to God. Therefore, they shouldn’t be less than to us. Why is it we can’t show a genuine concern if we haven’t see someone one in a while, or respect the time they are spending with family? People are literally running from the church, not necessarily the Word because they are tired of being in a space that feels just as oppressive as other areas of their life. This is unacceptable, and one can argue it is not what God intended.
Holiday, and celebration, shame might not seem like to big of an issue given everything going on in the world. However, it’s the small things that snowball into a massive situation that may not end well for the one being shamed. Sometimes something small can cause a person to lash out…and that can result in unexpected violence. Believe me, this is not taking a thing too far. When we hurt others under the guise of spiritual “righteousness” an unspeakable harm is being committed that affects every aspect of said persons life. Its time we embrace others with love, and seek to better understand one another verse offering shame.
If that is too tall of an order, that is also understandable and there is an easy fix. One can simply mind to ones own life…yes, mind your business. Many of us have heard the saying “if you can’t say some nice, don’t say anything at all”. Well, that applies perfectly. If it still nags at you that that brother or sister was not in service, but in their own space on a holiday or celebration…pray for their wellness. Just leave the shame out if it.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
One may also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames. Also, feel free to email her at; ChelleSJ@ThyBlackMan.com.
