(ThyBlackMan.com) One of the more tricky relationship dynamics is the one between a working black man and a stay at home mom. Both usually feel as if they don’t get a break. While the husband is stressed from the difficulties of working full time and dealing with the world, the stay at home mom is working a job that doesn’t have set off days. Both have a duty to fulfill to one another, but how does one love a stay at home mom in a way that promotes harmony in the home?
The first step to loving a stay at home mom is realizing that she is saving you money, at a cost. All of the things that a stay at home mom does, affords others in those particular professions a living. For instance, dietitians get paid to monitor peoples eating habits, however, a stay at home mom doesn’t. The argument could be made that planning meals is not done the entire day, however, it is a larger portion of the day because, in addition to planning, the meals have to be made. And then there is the clean-up. 
This realization is essential to loving a stay at home mom because it will allow you to get into her mind and her day to day struggle. Would a normal person be okay with doing the work of three to five professionals, daily, all day with no real time for yourself, free of charge? If someone’s boss asked them to come in and work around the clock for the next week, with no pay, would they say yes? That’s the plight of the work at home mother. Although it is a rewarding position it also comes with uncertainty, loss of self, loss of goals, loss of worth at moments, and sometimes days of depression.
The number one way to make a stay at home mom feel loved is to give her an actual break. A break where she doesn’t have to look after the children, make meals, clean, or tend to needs outside her own. Something like an uninterrupted bath with a follow-up massage will make her feel appreciated. Being a provider is spiritual, mental, physical, as well as financial.
Another way that you can show a stay at home mom that you love her is to take something off of her plate for the day. This will actually benefit them both. Try cleaning up the kitchen after dinner as a way to show appreciation giving her a bit of downtime during the wind-down part of the night, which could, more often, lead to her appreciating her husband in many ways. To be painfully honest, one of the top complaints in most marriages is the lack of intimacy between husband and wife. A lot of that is due to your wife just being tired and wanting to enjoy the quiet time when the children are sleep to herself. If a man takes some of the work off of his woman’s hands, it will allow her to rest and have more energy for some alone time with him.
Finally, just be present when at home. A wife knows and understands that her husband also needs wind down time when he gets home. The problem really is that he either takes too much time to wind down or he never stops winding down. When he is home on his off days he can be more active with helping with the day to day that comes with looking after the children. Not to say spend all of his off days this way, however, a few off days out of the month will do. It’s important to remember that the wife is doing this all day every day, 7 days out of the week and any time that he can ease the burden for her will not only make her happy but the children as well. The way that a wife feels does affect the children.
Staff Writer; Sister Victoria X
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