(ThyBlackMan.com) None of us want to feel inferior. And as a whole, our people are not inferior to any other race, ethnic group or nationality. BUT TOO MANY OF US ACT LIKE WE ARE. Too many of our people are easily influenced in the wrong direction – packing thee jails, getting addicted to the THC in weed, rioting where we tear up our own neighborhoods, sagging pants, dressing like whores, stealing from and killing each other – and making excuses for all of it. But how in the world do these things tie into ego?
Too many of our people will not listen, learn or try a better way instead of placing their lives, health, freedom and finances at risk. Wisdom and strategy wins more battles than angry and offended egos. And rather than listen in order to gain wisdom, many of our people would rather get offended at the idea of being told what they don’t know. I know this happens when many of us are young and foolish, but that should change as we mature and get older. Yet a great many older fools amongst our people exist. I mean people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. They will not listen because they already think they know things they don’t in fact know at all Ego.
I have learned to be quiet, listen and learn in areas where I have no expertise. And the only reason I have expertise in other areas is because I learned to shut and listen instead of trying to share what I knew. And while I know a great deal in many areas, I am just as quick to admit what I don’t know, admit when I am wrong and listen to a different or better way. I am quick to keep an open mind and to look at as many angles or perspectives on an issue as I can find, even if I disagree with them. If you cannot do these things, you probably are neither ready to lead not to give advice o a large scale. If you cannot do these things, you can expect problems in most, if not all, of your close interpersonal relationships.
The irony is the fact that most of our people who have egos are allowing these egos to prevent them from humbling themselves, from listening and learning. Yet these people are also those who often cannot produce the results to match their egos. Thus big egos but small results. Before you can teach, you must be teachable and taught. Before you can lead, you must be able to follow. Before you qualify to be in charge, you must be willing to do your all as a subordinate. Before you can correct others, you must be willing to be corrected. Before you can expect things from others, you must be willing to expect these things from yourself and able to produce them.
ES` what the heck are you talking about? Well let’s see. If I run into one more broke and struggling African American who has a business card with CEO on it, I am going to be sick. CEO of what? In entrepreneurship, for example, many of our people want to jump in with no vision on paper, no business budget, no clearly defined goals, no timetable and no clear cut ways to measure their success or failure. These are people with big egos and often little training. They will not listen because they are renegades who cannot work with others unless they are in charge and everything is done their way. I am sure either you know someone like that or I just hit the nail on the head. Amen or OMG he is talking about me?
Years ago an older gentleman told me to learn the meaning of “the white man’s ice is colder than ours“. At that time I had no idea what he was talking about. But as time went on, I learned that he was speaking of perceptions and how perceptions of people and groups shapes how those people are groups are treated. Case in point, look up the definition of “black” in the dictionary. Notice the negatives then ask yourself why in the world are you calling yourself dismal, evil, devoid of light, mischievous etc., especially when your car tires and black and your skin is not. Perception often overshadows facts and truth. Perception is often accepted as reality.
But what about the “white man’s ice“? Water freezes at 32 degrees, no matter whose water it is. But the perception of one group’s products, services and advice is not equal to that of another group. What in the world am I saying? I am saying our people will listen to white people but not each other. African Americans often flaunt egos with each other then go right down the street and listen to what the “white man” has to say. His advice is perceived as good, accurate and often better than ours. And when he does something that is not “of purity, goodness and light“, we are shocked and upset because Mass let us down. Too many of our people expect more from Caucasian people, the government and the police than we do from ourselves or our own people. When a “white” police officer kills a “black” man, we get outraged. But when our people do it to our people every week, we simply shake our heads, have a candlelight vigil and keep on going. Wow, are you hearing me? Expectations.
If you have a big ego, I hope your actions can produce. If you are not willing to listen to our people in areas where you do not have expertise, I hope you already know everything. I can honestly say that I do not know half of half of everything. Can you? I know enough to know there is a whole lot i do not know in many, many areas. But I also know where my strengths, gifts and expertise have taken me and others. We need to learn from each other, stay in our lanes, know when to be quiet and draw on the knowledge, wisdom and resources of our people – not compete with these things.
I often see so many of our people filled with good ideas and potential which are choked out by ego. They will not work will anyone unless they are in charge. They will not contribute unless their multi-level marketing idea is out front. They focus on who will get the credit first and who will get the money. They behave like two children arguing over who was given the biggest cookie or the most Kool- Aid in their glass. We don’t have time for any of that and we have to wake our people up now. So stop getting offended and start plugging into the whole. We must come to realize that egos don’t pay bills and we can be a lot stronger and more successful by working together than we could ever be if we do not.
Staff Writer; Marque-Anthony
