(ThyBlackMan.com) Transparency can help growth. Intimacy and sex can be amazing when a relationship begins. Its as though you have a burst of energy because that intimate time helps you decompress from the day, and you sleep better. In the beginning when its just you two you’re able to walk around your home free together and move in and out of space with each other with ease. Well, that rhythm changes when a child(ren) enter the picture. Don’t get me wrong family time is wonderful, and children are a blessing. However, the truth is they also usher in another level of exhausted. Think about how tired you are on your most exhausting day whereby all you want to do is get home and lay down, you might not make it to the bed, and multiply that times 100…that’s kid exhausted.
You have to handle everything doing on with you will making the child a priority, and you have to keep up with the needs of your partner also. Managing your family is enough to have you looking plain, disheveled, and extremely tired. In your mind your and your partner are going to have a rendezvous of love once the kids go to sleep…but both of you pass out with the children. This can put strain on your relationship as both parties have needs. These are three ways to make time for intimacy.
1. Put it on your schedule of things to do for the day. That might not sound romantic, and that’s understandable. However, the romance can show itself when its time to play, but you have to get to that point. If you schedule everything else…put play time on your list because you have a better chance at being mentally prepared to not simply go to sleep.
2. Consider unconventional times and places. Look I’m not saying get busted for indecent exposure, but you might need a 12noon play date with your partner when the children are at school or down for naps. This might work as you aren’t already fighting complete exhaustion from the day. This could also add some spice to your sex life as it’s something different. If it works for you having different times and places in the house might be just the spice you need.
3. Carve out a time to catch a power nap and put on something sexy. Creating the mood verses your best mommy jammies can help add spark that will motivate you to fight past your exhaustion to come together with your partner. Too many times we look up and we are in faded sweatpants, stained t-shirts, fuzzy socks and a bonnet. This is from chores, cooking, dealing with kids, you might have a baby spitting up on you…and no one wants to mess up their good clothes. However, a shower and some sexy lingerie could be just the fire for your desire.
Intimacy doesn’t have to disappear from your relationship because you have children. However, it is a challenge to keep your fire going…not because the attraction is gone but you are your partner are exhausted. The best marriages have to find a way to overcome the exhaustion monster. Don’t lose heart just seek to find different ways to get the intimacy you need. Sometimes we have to get a bit creative, but it’s worth it.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.
