(ThyBlackMan.com) Support is a key component if any community. It is hard sometimes to listen to sisters discuss a lack of support from others, and black men, when they don’t support each other. Our cheering section should be loaded with sisters that care about our success. They don’t make what we are striving for about them, but they help us believe in self when doubt threatens to take over. This is what each of us wants, and feel we deserve, but the truth is how many of us don’t give the same regard to our support of our sister circle. The truth is being support isn’t easy.
You give of your time and energy when you don’t feel like doing so. Support means finding the mental space when you don’t always feel you are helping a matter or even being heard. Sometimes it means tough conversations, and hard truths but you do it because you want to see your sister be her best person…and she’s doing the same for you. These are three ways you can offer genuine support to the sisters that help keep you standing.
1. Never dismiss their situation for their circumstance. Just because your sister has a high paying job, and finances are a struggle for you, doesn’t dismiss the challenges she faces in her career. Her moment of hardship is not about you. Don’t make it about you by feeling she should suffer in silence because she has money. We must find the compassion to stand with our sister without bleeding self into her challenge.
2. Ask her if she needs advice, or if she wants to vent. Sometimes we call each other, and we just need a moment to get plenty off our chest. It’s not always about needing advice and direction. At the same time asking that question allows your sister to let you know when she needs your wisdoms and perspective on a matter that is weighing her down. Who knows, she might need both; asking the question allows for better communication.
3. Sometimes you will need to make the time you demand. We are all tired, have long days, and many responsibilities. If you are quick to through your phone on do not disturb and let everyone know you aren’t talking, but her parent or child is in the hospital you might want to check on your sister. Granted we need to have time for self-care and tending to our own life. With that being said you will not want to have a sister consistently find a way to be unavailable in your darkest hours.
Sometimes giving someone the support they need is a stretch. When others support us, they feel the same stretch. Reciprocity in sister circles allow enough support to go around whereby everyone is being poured into so it keeps all parties involved strong. Make sure your sister is okay. sow that seed of love and support, and it will surely come back to you.
Staff Writer; Adonicka Michele
