(ThyBlackMan.com) When talking to the youth, teens and young adults at Abyssinia Baptist Church recently, it is clear that there
is a disconnect between adults and children. The perceptions of life and survival are bordered on uncontrolled opportunities to stop bullying only by physical confrontation and that even telling teachers, administrators and law enforcement is met by being labeled a “snitch.” The saying that “snitches get stiches”
is not just a Black perception, white children have similar statements that are just as disturbing and send a message to be silent and invisible when talking about bullying and harassment.
The more I engage in speaking to youth and teens of all colors and cultures it is clear that adult’s perceptions are off base and distorted from what they think kids should do to what is actually happening to kids when related to bullying.
Parents do not see the world as children do, there is a vision they have no control, they have no options or choices in life until they become adults themselves then they are dependent on the laws of society to protect them from the dangers of the world.
The reality shared by several teens during the strategy session is that children and young adults have limited control of their lives and that sometimes you have to fight for your very survival.
Bullying is agreed that it is a loss of power, it creates emotional and psychological turmoil and strife. The youth today see very little options related to stopping bullying because the adults in their lives do not take them (youth, teens and young adults) seriously. Many have stated that teachers tell them to take it like a man or a woman. To “go do what you need to do,” to keep yourself safe and even to protect yourself at all costs. This creates in the minds of children that they are all alone and without the support structure needed to feel protected and even valued.
Students are not equipped with the skills to de-escalate potential violent situations and many adults themselves seem to think that kids can talk about their problems when they do not have the skills or background experiences.
What is troubling is the lack of data to track incidents in schools, what complicates the availability of resources is the lack to counseling in school directly related to bullying, cyberbullying and Sexting, this is not my observation it is from comments from students in public and private schools.
Bullying is not a rite of passage or to make a boy a man or a girl a woman.
There needs to be more done, not just in Jacksonville, but across this nation when young people are losing their lives by suicide. Young people are fearful of their lives because of threats and harassment. This is not just because of LGBT issues, there is a deeper reality that needs a holistic approach.
We must build and reinforce the support systems that keep our children safe and building academic areas of success in school, in community and continuing in life.
The emotional baggage of bullying is being carried in adults throughout their lives. Sometimes tragically there is no healing, there are no opportunities to ask for forgiveness and redemption seems to be unobtainable. Pro-action, counseling and mentoring are needed to teach strategies, reinforce and build self-esteem and have personal learning communities and networks of support.
Resources Teach Kids To:
Be a friend – Tell a trusted adult – Set a good example Don’t give bullying an audience – Safely help the person being bullied get away from the situation.
Bullying Blogs and Resources:
https://www.stopbullying.gov/
Staff Writer; William D. Jackson
Find out more about this talented writer over at; OCS For Education.