(ThyBlackMan.com) We, as a culture, both male and female, tend to have a biased approach to raising our boys by restricting them to a narrowly defined “boys must be boys” mentality. In conditioning young boys to repress the full expression of their humanity, they begin to separate their hearts from their heads, losing touch with their authentic selves, entrapped in a toxic culture of unhealthy masculinity. Teaching black boys to “man up” through relentless policing of candid expression does more harm than good for a child’s identity.
For many black men, so much of their self-worth can be wrapped up in “being a real man.” Often, parents play a major role in these early tests of a boy’s “manhood,” going to great lengths to place their sons into their own ideas of masculinity. They are often doing so out of a fear that, in addition to racism, their son may be seen as “too 
feminine.” President of the Foundation for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Dr. Herbert Samuels states, “Calling any boy a “faggot”, “sissy” or “punk” has absolutely no positive effect on his self-esteem or his ability to form healthy relationships with women and men.”
History
The “man up” theory is a response to abuse that was prevalent in U.S. slavery. Many scholars believe that the origins of black male masculinity derived from the inhumane treatment and rape of enslaved men. Post-slavery, white supremacists use media to continue to control the minds of the black man. Fast forward to today and these depictions still pervade the definition of black manhood.
Media
There seems to be an endless barrage of black men depicted in the media as fitting into the narrow narratives constructed around black masculinity. Incidents of crime are reported on frequently, remarking on the latest black man to kill or raping someone. Sports and music provide the perfect backdrop for introducing the narrative that black males are hyper masculine and hyper sexual. Videos by popular artists populate mass media where black men brag about their sexual powers and their heightened masculinity. The black man is conditioned to believe that he embodies the very best of patriarchal masculinity, and that this is a virtue.
Prison
The black masculinity narrative in our society seems to be based on a few things; expressing feelings (or lack thereof), hyper sexuality and violence. Black men are to be full of rage and always apt to commit violent crimes. Being a black man it seems, they are supposed to embody an idealized version of masculinity. Both the dominant culture and many black men themselves have internalized this false notion of black men embodying a “true” definition of masculinity. For example in prison how can a heterosexual male be involved in homosexual activity but still act and appear “hard or tough” to others?
Conclusion
It is imperative for black men to be able to express black patriarchal masculinity in a positive light. Black men are more than rage, anger, violence, and sex. Masculinity, much like black culture is and has always been diverse. Black masculinity must seek out a wide open field where diversity and creativity is celebrated and fostered. Black men must resist those who insist on singling out black men. It is important for black men to model real strength and gender equality alongside females and create positive images of masculinity to model for young black boys. Black boys must be afforded the opportunities to explore and identify masculinity’s positive potential in its broad and complex reality. Only through first recognition and acknowledgement that false masculinity is a problem. Only then can the achievement gaps in the economic, social, educational and political lives of black men and boys be closed.
Staff Writer; Amber Ogden
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