(ThyBlackMan.com) As we move into the shadow of another Fathers Day, much will be written and said about how priceless the institution is. I personally love the day and its meaning. Not only because it’s an opportunity to celebrate the dad zeitgeist, but also because I’m always lead to ponder and consider ways of becoming a more authentic and powerful expression of fatherhood – ways of increasing my dad power.
As a father of two sons, I am often reminded of Shakespeare’s words, When a father gives to his son, both laugh. When a son gives to his father, both cry.
I coach single-dads because of this feeling.
I want dads to know that, wherever they are in their fatherhood
journey, however unconventional being a dad may feel, as it does for me, that we are powerful beyond measure. We must actively seek ways to deepen our fatherhood experience, by increasing our dad power. To accomplish that, follow this three-point checklist.
Checklist#One
Become Maladjusted
In a sermon delivered at Lincoln University in 1967, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. confessed to being what he called a ‘maladjusted’ person. He said, in part, that he had not been able to get comfortable with a society that had become complacent in the face of human hardship and suffering.
Increase your dad power by becoming ‘maladjusted’. A ‘maladjusted dad’ is one who rejects what society says he should be and who commits himself to becoming what his child or children need him to be.
We need maladjusted dads; dads who will not buckle under financial pressure; dads who will not be afraid to show their emotions; dads who know that kids spell love T.I.M.E.
Maladjusted dads know that fatherhood is a privilege and that not only is the child reaping great rewards from our presence, but that there are even greater rewards for us personally.
Checklist#Two
Write Affirmations
Journaling is a powerful experience. When that experience is chronicled through the use of affirmations, it’s therapeutic. An affirmation is simply a written declaration. An affirmation reinforces what we believe to be our reality and is prefaced with two of the most powerful words in the human language: I AM.
What you write after that says a lot about who you are, where you are going and what you are becoming.
Today, increase your dad power by writing affirmations. “I am POWERFUL,” I am ABUNDANT are examples of liberating affirmations.
Most of all, write an affirmation of acceptance of your role as a dad: I AM A LOVING, COMPASSIONATE AND STRONG FATHER.
Checklist#Three
Practice Forgiveness
Nothing kills dad power more than a grudge. Too often, due to conflict, single-dads hold on to long simmering resentment with the mother of their child(ren). Don’t play that game. It’s suicide on the installment plan. Let the next person have that. The longer you hold on to resentment, the more it kills you. Why? Because it’s robbing you of precious memories with your child.
Your happiness matters and you simply cannot be happy around your children when you are allowing anger to rule your spirit.
Don’t accept the adage ‘forgive but don’t forget’. That’s just as toxic. Radiate an attitude of life, energy and forgiveness. It will add years to your life and life to your years. Mostly, you will score major points in the eyes of the child.
Always look for ways to deepen your fatherhood experience.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.
