(ThyBlackMan.com) My reflections on fatherhood and the responsibilities of being a parent as a father. It does not matter if the father is in the United States of America or if he is in his native land of Africa there is still a strong bond in being a father, if that man’s takes his responsibilities seriously.
1. Fathers, be consistently involved with your families. Consistency builds trust and confidence in your children because they know you will be there for them to protect them, teach them and guide them.
2. Fathers, tell your children you’re proud of them. Children need to hear this from their fathers or father figure.
3. Fathers, saying “I love you,” sends a powerful message from a father, children need emotional and mental security.
4. Fathers, saying “I’m proud of you,” builds self-confidence, self-awareness and self-worth.
5. Fathers, teach their children that respect is “earned.” Fathers teach what respect is and how to earn it, demonstrate by starting with a handshake NOT a fist bump or a “whats up dog,” or “whats up my nig***.”
6. Fathers, should not be scared to show emotions to their children. Emotional security is important and fathers need to show their children self-control and self-awareness of their emotions.
7. Fathers, need to spend quality time with their children. Emotions do not equal weakness, its about stability, love and confidence. Time is more important than money.
8. Fathers, it is not about money, it is about time spent, time to build life long memories with your children.
9. Fathers, should be leaders in their families, communities and churches. Communities are declining because too many fathers are not involved and seen being involved in schools, church, community events.
10. Fathers, struggle with societal issues and expectations. That is normal, everyone struggles with something, and fathers still need their own mentors and role models choose well.
11. Fathers, God covers fathers as they cover their families. The blessings that fathers receive are not just for them, but for their children as well. Fathers pass down generational blessings and curses.
12. Fathers, should know who is setting an example for their children. Who are their role models and influencers? This is developed by spending time with them.
13. Fathers, fill a void and can stop generational curses by deciding to make changes in themselves and their decisions related to their families.
14. Fathers, even when fathers are not in their children’s lives their actions and behaviors are still poured into their lives. Your children has your DNA and RNA
DNA = A Daddy Nurturing Attitude = Altitude
RNA = Relationships Nurturing to Adulthood
15. Fathers that are not in their children’s lives create a “gap” in those children’s lives, a “gap in the bookshelves of life,” Chinua Achebe This gap can grow and create emotional controversies and learning challenges. Gaps can create PTSDI – Parental Time Stops Discipline Issues.
16. Fathers, need to be involved in schools to set realistic and transformative answers to why education is important. Education has to be relevant and empowering. Just telling a child they have to go to school because they are told does not work. They have to envision success and relevancy.
17. Fathers, communicate with each other, develop a brotherly language that is encouraging and nurturing to each other and your children. Develop a brotherhood with positive, productive and involved fathers.
18. Fathers, establish a strong prayer life and bible study within your home. Start early with your children so they have a good foundation to beginning their lives with a strong understanding of why worship and prayer are important.
19. Fathers, teach your children to choose their friends wisely. Everyone cannot be allowed in your circle of friends, just like everyone cannot come into your home. Everyone cannot share your dreams and aspirations.
20. Fathers, never let another man or woman interfere in your marriage and relationship with your children. At the end of the day you’re the father and important to your children.
Staff Writer; William D. Jackson
Find out more about this talented writer over at; OCS For Education.
As for #5, respect is an outpouring of the respect one has for himself. Thus respect is not just earned, respect is a strong character trait in a person which allows him or her to be the bigger person, even when others are not.
As a family and relationship counselor, I must say your points are very good. That being said, our young men have to survive before they can thrive. Look at the info below and help us to help them survive.
ANYBODY CAN BE A VICTIM OF POLICE BRUTALITY AND IT IS WORSE NATIONWIDE THAN YOU THINK!!!
The Metro Atlanta Crime Commission conducts seminars and workshops nationwide. We developed POLICE ENCOUNTERS 101 to teach private citizens the rights and laws they should know, how to handle a police encounter and your lawful remedies or solutions to get results if you become a victim. People are not thinking preventive but when something happens, then everybody wants to protest and riot and rally. But our comprehensive program is created to offer prevention, intervention and curative solutions.
There are many good and dedicated police officers but there are more mentally unstable, racist, bully, poorly trained, fearful and egomaniac officers than you may think and we have the proof. We support, pray for and understand the sacrifice of all good officers but the rest must be exposed, fired and prosecuted when they break the law just like anyone else. They are not above the law. PLEASE PRIORITIZE YOUR ASSISTANCE IN POLICE ENCOUNTERS 101!
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We do not apologize for the urgency we attach to this matter. Some people get offended, but to them e ask (1) are you prepared for a police encounter and (2) what solutions are you offering to save lives? The renegade, racist, poorly trained or mentally unstable police officers abusing and killing citizens all over this country are very aggressive so the solutions must be aggressive as well. Cases like Sandra Bland, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray and Eric Garner are not isolated incidents and 90% of the other incidents are being kept out of the media intentionally. And none of us are guaranteed to be exempt from becoming a victim.
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Schedule a seminar or workshop for your church or organization.
Good to hear these words reinforced it is so crucial to install good habits in reaching our children when they are young.
Positive actions are the right visual we want children to see and learn, the big picture of life.
Both parents are equally important and as a father I salute this article and happy to have read it.
Gary Martinez