(ThyBlackMan.com) In some ways, death is never unexpected. After all, as mortals, death is our business. From the time of our birth, every moment we live is a moment closer to our demise. These are things we all know, and have heard a million times before. Despite being well aware of our true nature, death, all death, seems to catch us by surprise.
Unexpected
By unexpected death, what we really mean is a death that seems particularly unfair. The death of a sickly octogenarian who has lived a full and meaningful life seems more fair than the death of an eight-year-old child with all her potential in front of her.
Getting over It
In the same way that unexpected doesn’t really mean unexpected. Getting over it doesn’t really mean getting over it. In some sense, none of us ever gets over the death of a loved one. If we could, that means the death had no effect on us. But we are shaped by all the lives and deaths that enter our world. A loved one’s death has a lasting impression on us.
Rather than getting over it, what we need to do is learn to 
contextualize death. A death is completely out of context when it consumes us to the point of turning us into the walking dead. It is also out of context when it leaves us business as usual. Dealing with death is all about proper contextualization.
Loved One
As much as we would like to think so, all death is not equal. This source suggests that 153,000 people die every day. Yet you did not mourn the death of the 150,000 who died yesterday. You can’t. Our systems would overload if we were capable of that much empathy. Whether or not it is impolitic to say so, not all deaths mean the same to us. The death of close friends and family will always be harder to contextualize than others. Here are a few tips for dealing with those unexpected deaths in your life:
Understand the Cause
Heard Robins Cloud is a law firm that deals with medical malpractice cases that lead to wrongful death. That falls in the category of an unfair death. A person goes to a physician to get better, but is killed by the doctor’s poor decisions. It is not just a matter of human error and dealing with the unknown. It is a matter of avoidable malpractice.
The hardest deaths to deal with are those without a known cause. If you feel like the cause of death is directly tied to malpractice or malfeasance. Getting that cause cleared up will help you put it into context.
Prepare for Death
It is also difficult to deal with a death for which we were completely unprepared. This is why it is so important for couples to do things like create a will. If you do not have a will and find yourself in a hospital, a nurse will come around to ask if you have a living will. If something happens necessitating an emergency decision, your living will lets the doctors know your wishes.
Beyond these preparations, family members need to have a few serious conversations about what to do in the event of a death. Where is the will? Is there a burial plot? What about insurance? The more preparation there is, the easier it is to contextualize.
Be Realistic
Some people live in a fantasy where death is for other people. Whether or not you believe that your loved ones will live forever in an afterlife, death is an ever-present reality in the mortal world. We ignore the doctor’s warnings about the seriousness of even routine procedures.
Medical error is the third-leading cause of death in America. Doctors are human. And medicine is a practice. Dealing with death will never be easy. But it is manageable when you understand the cause, make preparations, and are realistic about life and how it ends.
Staff Writer; Paul Short
