(ThyBlackMan.com) I am a single dad. I am also a holistic life coach. I have a passion for single-dads because I am a single-dad and the challenges faced by us are as ominous as they are self-defeating. Single-fathers face daunting challenges of access and visitation, communication skill-sets when dealing with a hostile co-parent and how to best conduct themselves while in court.
The last fifty years has seen a veritable explosion of single-dads in American society. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of households headed by a father has increased dramatically – from 300,000 in 1960 to 2.5 million in 2011. Some of these men are sharing custody but a sizable number of them have sole custody.
Within this context, far too many men – black, white, brown, rich, poor and from all walks of life – who want to be a part of their children’s lives face hostile circumstances and even threats of death.
Every day it seems we hear a litany of stories over the news media about single-dads, guys who love their children no more or no less than you or me, getting arrested for crimes against the mothers of their children.
So I took action! I formed a group called Their Eyes Were Watching Daddy and got busy trying to convince every single-dad I could of the folly of using violence to settle disputes with the mother of their children. I was unsure of any progress.
I decided I would use my holistic life coaching skills and emphatic communication skills and offer direct coaching – either directly or through groups – to encourage and equip single fathers on three important outcomes:
One: effective strategies for resolving conflict between themselves and the co-parent.
Two: personal achievement skills, because I think it’s important for single-dads to focus not only on their relationship with the child, but also give due diligence to their own becoming.
Through my C.O.P.E. program I coach single-dads to live in a state of confident, optimistic, positive, expectation.
This forms the basis of our coaching mantra: Better men. Better fathers. Better communities!
The third area I coach single-dads on is what I call access and etiquette – the do’s and don’t’s of courtroom appearances. I emphasize simple tips on how to dress for court, how to address the judge and how to self-represent if they cannot afford legal advice.
I share my own experiences from being in court before a judge and from participating in mediation. I am not playing legal expert here; I resource legal advice and consultation to a family court attorney who works with my organization.
I hope to help at least one dad take the high road and to always remember that, when it comes to the children, their eyes are watching us.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
One may also visit his person website at; http://www.wericcroomeswordpress.com/.
