How To Break a Negro: Baltimore’s Hero Mom.

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Ms. Toya Graham is receiving her days of fame amidst the Baltimore City riots. Many news reporters and media sources are referring to her as “Supermom” but, is she?

As a mother I completely understand Graham’s concern about her 16 year old son being amongst rioters who are in the streets of Baltimore protesting the death of Freddie Gray who died in police custody on April 19th. Baltimore has been plagued with crime for many years now and is often referred to as ‘Bodymore, Murderland” ranking number 7 of the top 10 most dangerous places to live.

Toya Graham made her way to CBS “This Morning” on Wednesday where she stated, “My intention was just to get my son and have him be safe”. Toya admits to “losing it” when she saw her son amongst rioters. In the video, which has gone viral and made its way to local news stations, Graham can be seen pimp slapping her son in the face as well as on the head. As the 16 year old walks off without saying a word, Graham begins to run behind him yelling obscenities and proceeding to pimp slap him just a bit more. No doubt, she “lost it”!

My question is: When is it acceptable for our youth to “lose it” in order defend themselves against social justices?

I’ve heard many African Americans referring to the youth who are rioting as ‘thugs’ yet when asked what they’ve done within the black community to assist in rearing these youth, you can hear crickets. We sat idle after the murder of Trayvon Martin in Florida hoping that the judicial system would do what we deem right. We saw riots erupt after the Mike Brown verdict in St. Louis just months ago and here we are yet again watching, commenting and whining about the aftermath of the Freddie Gray murder.toya-graham-the-view-2015

It’s obvious the younger generation is in a state of unrest. Not only are they restless, they no longer trust us as adults and current leaders of today to do what is right, what is just. We can’t continue to toss their voices and day-to-day reality aside under the false pretenses that we have “paved the way” for them to have a better life. What exactly have we paved to? The opportunity to hold hands with little white children? The opportunity to sit in classrooms and read from textbooks that constantly show their ancestors as worthless beings that were sold into slavery? The opportunity to find a job, pay taxes before they see their wages and hopefully live to retire? The opportunity to accept the rewards that white supremacy is offering in exchange for good behavior? What have we led them to that’s worth living for, that’s worth allowing their broken down neighborhoods to stand yet another day?

I can’t understand why so many adults feel these youth have nothing to be angry or upset about. I can’t understand why we don’t see the warrior spirit of our ancestors such as Nat Turner, Malcom X and Marcus Garvey within them. Our youth have the heart we lack; our hearts have been tainted by the luxuries of life, the comforts that those before us were unable to enjoy, the luxuries that keep us in a state of compliance and submission. Our youth, on the other hand, are more familiar with the luxuries and comforts of life so they thrive for something more soul felt: Justice and Equality.

Where do we go from here? How do we move forward when our youth are rebelling and we as parents are beating them down in the street for their oppressors to see? How do we begin to redirect the anger and frustration of our youth into projects similar to the Black Power Movement, the Stop the Violence Movement or The Harlem Renaissance? Why are we, as black people, more obsessed with life than we are with equality? It is as if we would rather live decades in oppression than fight for our birthrights. I recall reading a statement in the Willie Lynch letter that states, “If you break the female mother, she will break the offspring in its early years of development and when the offspring is old enough to work, she will deliver it up to you”. That very statement explains why Ms Graham, who in her own fears and frustration unleashed a thrashing on her son, is being applauded by media outlets throughout the country.

I can assure you that “losing it” on your offspring will not prevent them from being Freddie Gray, Mike Brown or Trayvon Martin, however, it will limit their capacity to be a Fred Hampton, Desmond Tutu, Bobby Seale, Stokely Carmicheal and the likes.

Blessed Parenting and Godspeed

Staff Writer; Dina Tuff

Connect with Mystic Philosopher & Inner Fitness Coach Dina Tuff @

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