(ThyBlackMan.com) Accountability, wow, the “A” word that causes animosity and disdain to well up from within so many of our people. You may not like the medicine I am about to administer, but if you can manage to keep reading, I guarantee you this awful tasting cocktail will help you grow and excel. What do incidents like the Trayvon Martin murder, the Eric Garner incident and the Atlanta Public Schools cheating scandal all have in common? You guessed it, all of the above have cases where people want to shift the accountability away from themselves.
Let me preface this article by saying a few things. First, it is not about blaming the victim. That’s not where I am going with this. Second, our ethnic group has the biggest denial problem when it comes to accountability that I have ever seen in any ethnic group. Thirdly, no ethnic group is perfect and yes other ethnic groups shun accountability as well. In fact, our United States government probably wrote the book on denial of accountability. But that’s another article for another time.
What is “accountability“? Accountability, when practically applicable and realistically speaking, is owning up to what you did or what you should have done. It is being responsible for what you do and the results of what you have done. It is looking in the mirror and first being honest with yourself then with others around you
Stay correctable – unless you know everything. Being able to accept correction and constructive criticism is necessary for accountability. The Bible says iron sharpens iron, but notice when iron hits iron, sparks fly. Sparks of correction may be uncomfortable, but they are necessary for you to grow, excel and succeed. Proverbs 19:20-21 tells us to listen to advice and accept instruction. Proverbs 15:22 teaches us that we will succeed if you allow people to advise you. So whatever position you hold, whatever level you are on, whatever degrees you have acquired, whatever authority you have – you need to stay open to correction, and not just from people who know as much as you do or more. In order to correct you, a person (even a child) does not need to know more than you – he or she simply needs to know something or see something that you don’t. I therefore listen to advice from my wife and even from my children.
Our people don’t like to answer to anybody. This reflects a lack of understanding that we are all connected, adult or not. This further reflects a lack of understanding that our actions affect the next person of the same ethnicity. Our actions can therefore shape perceptions of “black“ people and make it harder or easier on the next person. But most of our people never think about that or many do not care either way – at least until it hits them. These errors in perception by many of our people are exactly what continues to allow for division and backstabbing. The “all about self” attitude is killing our unity, what little we have left as a people.
It’s ironic that we will answer to the “white” man as if he is our parent but we share little or no accountability with each other. That is an after effect of slavery, a lingering slave mindset, a reason that we continue to accept “black on black crime” but protest and riot when a white man does it to one of us. Our people, as a whole, even behave better around other ethnic groups than we do around each other and that’s sad. It’s as if we seem to raise our standards when we are around those who will not accept any less from us. But high standards should be a personal and internal expectation, not something we turn up and down depending on who we come in contact with. If you understand why “the white man’s ice is colder than ours“, you are ready to grow in wisdom and you are the right person reading this article at the right time in your life. If you don’t understand what I just said – well, we will see.
Scapegoating by playing “the blame game” never helps us to grow. While it is true a great many things are not your fault, you would be wise to look at the things that are with at least the same attention as those which are not. Recently I hired a contractor to complete a tile renovation project at my house. And yes, though we burn each other more than anybody else burns us, I gave him the benefit of the doubt anyway. He did a great job on tiling the floors and the garden tub but that was not the problem. He left pile after pile of trash for me to clean up. He wasted materials that we bought. He used my tools and neither asked permission nor put them back. He left doors to the outside open after being asked not to. But when I brought all of this to his attention, he had a problem with me complaining. This example identifies a big problem in the African-American community. Would he behave the same way in a rich white man’s home? Probably not! Is my money just as good? Yes. Then why the difference?
What do we expect from ourselves and each other? What should we accept? Should we complain? Yes, we should. But too many of us have adopted a mindset of mediocrity and half-stepping instead of excellence. Oh yes and we do it with ourselves and each other much more than we dare try such foolishness with any other race or ethnic group. The perception around the world of African-Americans is that we are lazy or mediocre with a “get over” attitude. We are perceived to come late, leave early and do as little as we can in order to “get by”. The sad part of the story is how accurate the description is for a great many African-Americans. As a people, our standards are low, our expectations are lower and our output has sunken into an abyss full of excuses and rejection of correction. Our people as a whole hate being “called out” and that has to change yesterday.
In the Atlanta Public Schools cheating scandal parents were quick to blame the teachers. But the parents should have been held accountable as well – and the students. In the Trayvon Martin case our people wanted to blame Zimmerman 100% – and no I am not defending him. But wait, a parent should also know where his children are. A parent should teach his/her children what to do when they are followed. A parent should tell his/her son “eat what’s in the house because you are not walking anywhere tonight”. We should be teaching our children there are crazy people out there so don’t go where you don’t have to go, especially if you have to walk. These were tragedies and travesties of justice, but we can and should have learned from them instead of just dodging accountability and moving on.
In the case of Eric Garner who I believe was basically murdered by police, I watched the video and I watched him resist being handcuffed. I am not blaming the victim but what we can learn is to comply and fight another day another way. As a former detective, I know for a fact that being placed in handcuffs does not mean you are going to jail. I have placed people in handcuffs dozens of times but most were not arrested. Eric Garner did not know that and I do not fault him because he didn’t. But we can still learn more from such a tragedy than to just blame the police. And before some of you say I am taking the side of the police officers, know that I am not. I believe they should be held accountable for killing an unarmed man, every single one of them including those who stood by and let it happen.
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Hitler was able to use propaganda on the Germans to a point where they blamed the Jewish people for all the problems in their country. Such a wicked and evil hatred grew to the point where millions of Germans had no problem with “exterminating” the Jews because they thought they were getting rid of the problems in Germany. But if most of the Germans had looked at the “man in the mirror”, they would likely have never blamed someone else. And the biggest problem was Hitler himself.
If you want others to be accountable, start by being accountable yourself. Understand that we are all connected and what you do affects someone else. In relationships, at church and at work you must practice apologizing, admitting when you are wrong and allowing others to correct you – whether they are in charge or not. You must be accou8table even to your children, your spouse, your friends and your co-workers. Set the example and watch people begin to follow it. You must learn to accept constructive criticism and even depend on it to help you fix flaws in yourself. By taking this approach you will become stronger, smarter, wiser and make fewer mistakes – all while coming closer to your potential and the greatness within. At first criticisms may hurt, but as you “overstand” why they are necessary, the hurt will be replaced with growth and wisdom. Here is to your success.
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How To Get Better Grades In School
Read This Before You Get A Divorce
What’s Wrong With African American Men
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Mind Control Being Used On You Every Day
Lifting Our People Up / Breaking The Slavery Mindset
America Look In The Mirror
A Message To All African American Police Officers
Staff Writer; Marque-Anthony
Here we are, five years after Freddie Gray, except the name is now George Floyd.
As the cities burned, my wife and I asked ourselves why we continue to martyr criminals while blaming everyone but ourselves for the condition of our community. Why do we keep denigrating women and glorifying violence with our music? Why do we feel the least safe in our cities? Do we really think young, white college kids carrying signs identify with not just us, but any other race? Of course not.
Did I hear Joe Biden correctly, that I’m not black unless I vote Democrat? Shouldn’t every black Democrat a) be offended, and b) question their membership to a party that nominated such a man? What more proof do we need that Democrats continually play to our love of being the victim in order to secure our votes—then abandon us? Did Barack use us as well? We think he did, and shame on us for letting it happen.
Martin made it crystal clear that it’s on us to live decent, law abiding, Godly lives in order for others to choose to judge us by our character, versus the color of our skin. The identity politics message today is the exact opposite. Doesn’t that make us the racists?
I am so glad to have found this article. It’s up to us to own the mess we’ve made for ourselves and fix it. We must eradicate the victim gene, become self-reliant, and stop taking from the government. Only then will others change long held, and sadly, often accurate perceptions about us.
My wife and I have decided to leave the Democrat party. It’s shameful to admit that we’ve done well enough to have been comfortably complicit with their flawed, even hurtful ideas for so long. Republicans would love to have us, but we will likely become Independent.
“While it is true a great many things are not your fault”
Completely disagree. Almost everything is one’s own fault. True injustice rarely happens, regardless of what beliefs or expectations you hold for society.
As a person of color myself I have to say this article is the most incisive analysis I have ever read on the subject. Such blazing and searing honesty about the subject is heartwarming. The article rallies the black community and men in particular to step forward to the challenge that confronts a large section of the black community.
The article provides the firmest foundation on which to build a credible, secure and powerful black community. I have the greatest respect for the authors of the article. Thank you for this beacon of hope.
Despite my displeasure with some of the other things you have posted including your responses to other authors, I appreciate this article. Well written, articulated and I cannot agree more.
i 100% agree. We as a people, as men, do not want accountability be become a part of our moral fabric within our selve. I believe because other African American are making too much money off the backs of “poor black, feel sorry for me and i am so oppressed” that it is easier to live a life of blame the ‘white’ man. But we have to keep going and yelling until black people get it. Yes, we have racism but that has to do with respecting each other, or reading a book, or building a business or going to work etc. Once a person knows they are a victim they take actions to get out that situations and fight back to recoup all they lost. Therefore, staying a victim is a choice not a right. again love the article