Single Parent Families and Pimps.

by Staff August 12, 2014 14 Comments News Opinion Relationships Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) This post can be considered a continuation of my post, ‘Black Problems’ only because of the alarming amount of single parent households in the community, as well as the way those in abject poverty hustle, or make their money. *I cannot speak on any other culture, because I am ignorant as to what they do.*

Since the days of blaxploitation films, the trend in the black community has been similar to that which we see in those movies: pimps, hoes and drug dealers.

How does fiction become reality? Is it strategic? Why is illegal activity so cool to those living well below the poverty line?

Well, I have some ideas.

It starts with the family structure. I am only 30, but for as long as I can remember, the black community in general has been on the low end of the totem pole when it came to healthy communities and strong familial bonds. ( I will speak on familial bonds later, btw.) Business growth is a joke, because the communities aren’t conducive to prosperity. Love ain’t there, either.

From the time of the Black Power movement, which to me seemed like a joke, since the only thing that can be said about that movement is that drugs became prevalent in the black community, black women said no more dishes, and became feminists, and fast money was/is a was the way to a better future…in the ghetto…there has been a disconnect and inability to communicate properly with the opposite sex. The man wants to be the head, the woman wants equality, and there’s no middle ground.

The solution? Go separate ways and let God sort things out.

How did things turn out because of that decision? Well, let’s look at the present:

For Black men, they have become used to not having responsibility in the household. It’s okay to hump and dump…then brag about it to his friends on how much of a whore he just had sex with…and possibly impregnated. It’s okay for a Black man o degrade a Black woman, because that is what he grew up hearing while around his female relatives. They call each other the same names that men do…but it’s more complimentary than anything. Black men with no father figure look to media for what a man is. Sadly, it backfires, as all he sees is what is in his neighborhood…dope boys getting money, pimping hoes. There’s quite a few songs about it by Black men, who probably didn’t have fathers either and had the same street role models. They know that in order to get a girl, he has to look and smell good. No need for intelligence…that’s not hot.

For Black women, it has become the norm to accept less than other women expect and receive. It’s okay to be called a wifey, baby mama, bitch, ho and other derogatory ‘compliments’.It’s fine to be called these things because that is what they call each other and has become a term of endearment. I can say to a hooker, ‘Hey Ho!’ and get greeted back…with a smile. They find it fine to embody those words. Get fly and spend tons of money on the outer appearance, neglecting the inner self.
nowadays you see the popular trend of strippers and hookers in the mainstream being treated like royalty, and it becomes fascinating. I, for one, felt it would be appropriate to have a pussy pic online. I have stay up with the times, ya know?

So…

As for the title of my post, I feel that it has been a strategy for both sexes to exploit themselves, starting at birth.

Single parents get welfare. More kids, more benefits.

Children of these families seek out the sex that is missing. It’s usually the Black man who has more nuts to bust, and nor responsibility for his seeds. It’s not his problem to raise a child…only make them.The Black male adult who is in the same community as these single parents see the children as cash cows, finding ways to play on these kids insecurities. The boys look up to them because the man is a reflection of who is to become, so he must have guidance for him, right? Maybe…maybe not. If so, dreams of being dope boys and gang members wouldn’t be aspirations for these children. Sports is the ONLY way out, according to their mentors.

Girls without daddies? Daddy is another word for pimp for these lost girls. Pimp is another word for Daddy. These male and female ‘mentors’ in the black community don’t love these children. They make money off of them. They are trained until they know that they should never be broke because there’s a pussy between their legs. The boys are trained to never love a bitch. She is beneath him.

Women who are exploited learn that to be loyal to their predator, pimp, they must make lots of money for him. Tattoo his name on them so they know it’s real.

The only reason these kids stay is because they feel that they are loved. Whoever raising them is not loving them, because they lack self-love and work too much to care for them. The kids are who they turn to when they are frustrated and angry. Who else to take it out on than little people?

The community is in dire need of salvation, but no is available to help them out. The one’s closest to them, enable them to continue the cycle.

How does the Black community save itself from tattoos, pimps and single family households?

Staff Writer; Sunni Daye

Official website; http://celestewriter.com/

14 Comments

Gayle Jenkins says:

June 16, 2015 at 6:43 pm

Great insight, @El.

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El says:

August 24, 2014 at 12:08 pm

“Women have a role to play in the restoration process as they need to encourage the men to lead without any game playing techniques or need to dominate their mate.” Thank you. We need to stop outside influences from causing so much division among parents. Be it the government, society, family or friends.

And as others have said time and time again economics and education is the key.

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Rameses says:

August 20, 2014 at 10:53 pm

Celeste: your female counterparts are in a dangerous period. I was reading a literature from a site authored by an Asian man who says exactly what I’m saying, but he says it in general about American women. I’m seeing white males run away from America, getting Indians, Chinese, Koreans, SouthAmerican, and other women from other places. If white men are running away, where do you think that puts black men? First and foremost, the numbers just aren’t in black women’s favor.

If every black man got witha black woman, there would still be at least 1.5 million black women without a black man. Then you take into consideration the competition from other groups of women (which is heavy), then what you have is a situation in which black women are on the outside looking in. Black women are complaining now about black men getting with other women. But complaining won’t matter. It’s not in their control. I am predicting that when the Olympics in Brazil hits, and tv is flooded with the images of those women there alone, will change the game in a dramatic way, in terms of introducing American men to a new flavor of women. With globalization, everything is up for competition: including relationships.

Outside America, women are traditional. They seek marriage and family. This is critical for their identity. They don’t look at themselves as independent. They view themselves within the family construct. This is diametrically opposed to how black women view themselves (independent). We know black women are having babies, albeit irresponsibly. But are they building families is the real question and that’s an emphatic NO!!!!! So their is a generation of kids who are being born out of lust, not love. Now black women can claim independence all they want to. However, I’m sure most children will want to have a relationship with their fathers. But the identity of black women in America is grounded in being independent (although being on welfare and working a job is not independent to me).

The issue really is a wealth issue. Black women believe the only way to get money is to work jobs. Other women are smarter. They invest in men with love first, and support these men as they seek to achieve their ambitions and reap the rewards from this. Black women knowingly have babies (burdens) by men they absolutely have no idea what kind of father he would be because they don’t even discuss these things. Black women make you think about sex: other women make you think about love in terms of how they relate to their men and other men they choose to deal with. The black community is a poor community. They think poor. They don’t invest because what would they invest in? They wouldn’t know where to begin. Building starts with self, but when you hate yourself, you won’t ever start. Black women through up their hands in black power fists salutes in the 70s, with Afros. That was a joke. Black beauty was and is a fad as it pertains to women. Black women are spending in excess of 500 billion dollars on weaves and other so-called “beauty” items.

Looking like drag queens in tights and clunky, goofy heels they barely can walk in, most time looking like hookers. This is why most men, including their own, only see them as something to screw, not someone to build with. I have not seen one prominent black women, with influence, come out and condemn the behavior of the modern day lack woman. We criticize and get accused of hating black women. Other black women say nothing. What should we call them? You can’t even legitimately criticize black women as a man because it becomes a shouting match, in which women don’t want to resolve anything: they just want to be right and attempt to call you a woman hater to silence you. Classic feminists technique. Funny thing is, there is nothing feminine about a feminist. Absolutely nothing. If feminism was good for black women, why aren’t black women in stable families? Marriages? Not performing abortions?

Funny how before feminism came on the scene, black women married black men, their communities had businesses, and abortions were low. What did feminism accomplish for black women? The black woman of today is worse off than her ancestors who scrubbed floors because at least her predecessors had sense enough to put the money she made with her husband to start a business. My great granny never worked for white folks, but her husband put her in a home, and she raised his children well. I have no respect for women who put jobs (which basically amounts to her ensuring another family stays wealthy) over her own children and men. And women wonder why men cheat?

There is nothing for men to be loyal to anymore. Which is why many men have multiple women because most women are incapable of satisfying a man the way our great grandmothers used to. These women are better fit to be slaves rather than wives. You shouldn’t have to plead with women to be traditional or morally upright. Either they are or they’re not. If you’ve been exposed to years dysfunction from your mother (the woman who made the choice of getting impregnated by whoever the father is), chances are, if you’re a black female, this won’t change, especially in light of the fact that black women are rewarded for being dysfunctional (welfare, sex tapes Mimi Faust, reality shows, sex demons Rihanna). Child support is the new, legal prostitution. Fellas if you haven’t learned, you better learn fast.

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Celeste says:

August 20, 2014 at 3:53 pm

Typo…’praying for these unwanted black babies.’

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Celeste says:

August 20, 2014 at 3:01 pm

I agree with you, @Rameses…This is why I tell brothers to jump off the titanic while they have a chance and embrace other women from other groups in terms of traditional families and women because you won’t get that here.

The situation seems irreparable and pointless to discuss, which is why I wrote this piece to see how others felt. We’re done with each other. We butt heads too much to love each other, and both sides are bitter.

What is the point of continuing any Black Power movement, which has been futile?

What is the point of wanting to find a like minded partner of the same race, if the issues surmount the love. Black love is nothing but fucking anyway. If the sex is good, we’re in love. Forget the communication skills that go along with a healthy relationship.,

Forget about praying these unwanted black babies…because no one cares about them or their future. Their mothers are dumb women who fuck for affection and spend all of their money masking their insecurities. Their daddies laugh at them for not having a daddy.

Abortion is good for the black community. We are doing our own ethnic cleansing. Things will be great when we no longer exist.

So much for our forefathers community theme: Don’t air out our dirty laundry.
We’re now hoarders and scared to get the Tide.

Just let it stink. It’ll go away in due time.

This is the reason I chose adoption for my children. I didn’t want them to be unwanted.I wanted them to know more than black culture and have a better future than their peers who are raised by a single woman. These women are fools to raise children that their own community don’t want.

All in all…everything is as it should be. This hate and bitterness that we have for each other will surely separate us for good in the long run. No more tribes!

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Rameses says:

August 19, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Black women, collectively (not all), have to be the most stupid women politically, spiritually, and financially on the planet. This article, is yet again, another diatribe of a woman who does not hold her “strong” black women accountable for her actions on a political level. First and foremost. you cannot attempt to make any critique on the black “community”, without first addressing the negative influence of feminism (witchcraft) on it. Margaret Sanger, a proponent of feminism (a form of eugenics) used black women to reduce the numbers of black people over the last I would say 70 years. Under the auspices of “family planning” and “reproductive rights”, which are code words for abortion, Sanger used people like Web DuBois, and negro clergy to sell the notion that reducing their numbers in family structures (blacks were at tje top of marriage rates up until the 60s). Introducing welfare was the final nail in the coffin for black people because now you had an excuse for black women to not look at black men as authority figures.

However, when we talk about the dysfunction of the black community, the blame always gets placed at the feet of black men, but not the person who was most instrumental in bringing about it’s potential demise: the black woman. See black women are like Eve in the Bible. They were convinced that their God (black women up until the 60s were more conservative and in some instances married at a higher rate than white women) and men were no good, and instead, what they needed was an education. Well let’s sit back and analyze education shall we. Education always starts out with a premise. The premise is the curriculum. Ok. Well who decides what curriculum is appropriate? Is the one designing the curriculum of a sound mind? You have curricula being designed by liberal homosexuals. There is no way a homosexual can tell me how to live as a man. Period. However, many black women get their beauty tips from gay men. Actually, black women have learned to make gay black men more credible than straight, alpha male black men. From a financial aspect, I mean the numbers speak for themselves.

Black women are the biggest consumers, yet the poorest, which is odd because collectively, black women have major purchasing power. But you know where most of black women’s money goes to? The beauty/fashion industry. Black women, as a block of consumers, are financially illiterate when it comes to wealth creation and against one of the major institutions that fosters wealth creation: marriage. So you basically have a woman exposed, in the wild, who thinks she’s capable of fending for herself, but in reality, is destroying not only herself, but her group as well, albeit slowly. When black men worked as porters on railroads and black women scrubbed white peoples’ floors, although the jobs weren’t glamorous, it allowed them to do something basic: pool resources together for future investments like opening businesses. Now instead of using money as a means of economic investment and advancement, money for black women is a tool for masking low self-esteem. Buying weaves (hell in Ferguson black women were literally caught on film running out of stores with packs of weaves in there hands). Even in the midst of this tragic event, we still couldn’t get away from black women’s low self-esteem.

That’s very powerful and cannot be lost in the emotion of the circumstance. Money and self-esteem affects spirit, and when you’re not spiritually grounded, it leads to disaster. Pimps only grew in stature the more black women turned away from ‘traditional” values. If there were no hoes to pimp, the pimp would go out of business. Black men are no different than other men: if you take away the incentive for getting married and building families, they won’t do it. I’m 35 and have had 55 year old black men ask me “do black women want to get married anymore?” This is cutting against socioeconomic backgrounds as well as age ranges. You have black women that would rather engage in the sex trade industry than marry a man with no money. Never mind he might have strong values, be willing to cherish and love her, and build a family and wealth with her. At the same time feminism was pushed to black women, you had groups like the Nation of Islam teaching black women how to be from a traditional standpoint. They chose otherwise. Now, we see the results. I remember when a dude told me his ex-girlfriend was contemplating short-selling her house, due to the stress of keeping up with all the bills in 2008. He said her aunt told her “don’t be sad about possibly giving up your home.

A woman isn’t supposed to have a house by herself anyway.” See, black women have houses, but they don’t have homes. They don’t know how to make a house a home for a man. This girl was breaking down from trying to pay all those bills by herself, and she didn’t even have kids. My friend told me she was so stressed out, her stress level was at aneurysm level and had it not been for him pressuring her to go to the doctor, she possibly could have died. You have black women getting into $100,000 of debt, for degrees, they can barely use. Working jobs it didn’t even take a degree to do. However, since black women are constantly in competition with black men, the first thing they put in black men’s face, to justify their conceit and arrogance is this piece of paper. Not realizing, they have been suckered into debt slavery. With a 30 year mortgage, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt, you’re guaranteed to be in debt slavery for the rest of your life. I always ask people, with all this freedom and money, have you ever saw a black woman pay a mortgage off? Whites have a loyal customer when it comes to home loans when it comes to black women because of their need to fill men’s role, based on feminism. And Koreans have an endless supply of money coming in as well due to black women’s undying need to wear weave. And the non-health industry has a consistent stream of bodies of black women to practice medicine on after they have worked themselves to the bone, making other people wealthy, with the ability to send their kids to Harvards and Yales, while her kids go in debt, for degrees they can’t use either. just like her. Because the community has been remade in the image of the black woman, a sad case indeed.

And it will get worse if Barack legalizes 5-10 million Hispanics because this will further make it harder, from a jobs standpoint, for blacks to compete, because if you think you seeing some troubles now in Ferguson, just wait until it becomes almost impossible, for welfare recipient black women, to get a job at McDonald’s. This will make them the majority in America much faster and whites would be the leading minority. Blacks will get squeezed out of the political process even more, being that they don’t participate anyway, and when they do, only vote democrat like the uninformed children they are. Thanks to feminism and black women ego, the black community will be a distant memory in I would say 100 years. This is why I tell brothers to jump off the titanic while they have a chance and embrace other women from other groups in terms of traditional families and women because you won’t get that here. The only thing black men will continuously get from black women is blame for their problems. This group of women is incapable of seeing the errors in their ways and coming to terms with that and the few ones with sense are too fearful of holding their so-called “sisters” accountable (black women really don’t have a sisterhood) out of fear of not being considered “real” black women.

If you read Booker T Washington’s “Up From Slavery”, he was saying some of the same things I’m saying now over a hundred years ago. He thought it was better for women to know how to set a table spread than to learn Shakespeare. Booker T was not against certain types of education: he just was against “education” that wasn’t practical. He was about building institutions: not bloviating over tired theories that have no ability to be implemented without causing disaster. Which is why he suggested blacks focus on economics (trades and businesses), over liberal arts educations that only were highly regarded in certain bourgeois classes of certain blacks. This man went from chattle slavery to meeting the Queen of England. Obviously, he knew what he was talking about. Meanwhile, in 2014, the negro is begging for jobs when Booker T was about creating jobs. But, too many blacks have followed DuBois’ model, and just like he, find themselves disillusioned, thinking moving to Africa (a notion Booker T wasn’t fond of) will solve their problems, only to find themselves more out of place.

It will take blacks in America about 1000 years to recover from feminism. In the mean time, my suggestion to men is to focus on getting money and multiple streams of income, and pluck your fruit from other parts of the world in terms of women. The black woman, of your present day, is not a viable partner in marriage, child-rearing, or wealth creation because she doesn’t care to know what nation-building is about because if you hate yourself, which most black women do, you will consciously and subconsciously destroy that which looks like you, something we see black women doing with their twerking and stripping escapades.

Me personally, I’m too civilized to get caught up in the midst of that destruction. I’m like Lot leaving Sodom and Gomorrah, I’m running for dear life and not looking back.

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Celeste says:

August 18, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Correction: I meant to say…’far from American.’

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Celeste says:

August 18, 2014 at 6:12 pm

@Papacool One issue we have is not resonating with the fact that we are Americans. We see ourselves as Black in America…but are from American. If we think Black American, all of a sudden we have so many excuses as to why we don’t belong here. Slavery, how Master treated us(I personally never had a Master), backstabbing by our own tribe…being separate because Africa is a tribal land, etc.

All cultures have experienced slavery, yet blacks seem to be the only ones constantly reliving it.

Since slavery was so long ago, I don’t think that is the reason for black men not being able to protect and nurture their people…women especially. It has to do what black men created socially and creatively.

Black men created thugs and gang banging. They created Pimps Up, Hoes Down…they created baby mamas. Black women accepted all of this. That’s a problem.

How do we get Harriet Tubman back and let them know that freedom rang long ago?

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Celeste says:

August 18, 2014 at 6:01 pm

@Paul I understand your point of view. What I fail to comprehend is how our black leaders don’t do anything to lead the people to a greener pasture. It seems that the situation is irreparable and pointless to try to fix…which makes me angry. Thanks for commenting, by the way. Your thought counts!

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Celeste says:

August 18, 2014 at 5:57 pm

@Mike Where do you think the term ‘angry black woman’ came from? What is it that you don’t understand?

Do you not see what I write in reality?

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Papacool says:

August 18, 2014 at 12:34 pm

One of the first things we have to do is both, individually and collectively, find our identity. In order to do this, we need to be honest and unbias about establishing a value system that is effective and respectful. As a people we need to lead and not follow, which is partly to blame for the equality/inequality aspects that so many relationships have. We have bought in to the concepts of society and have forgotten where in the Hell we came from and what we have been through. This has been due to the thought that intergration has allowed us to achieve equal footing when in fact it put us further behind the eight ball. Although we have seen some progress in the racial race we are running, we have to be realistic to the fact that once we gain progress, the rules are changed to knock us back five steps further from the gaining point. As long as we do not present the possibility of surpassing our competition, we can be tolerated.

But at the point of being superior vs being inferior, we are never going to be accepted. To those whom think you have made it, God bless you. But do not be fooled. Women are women, not men. Men are men, not effeminately equal, so to those that think otherwise, do not get it twisted. The role reversal trend we are seeing is designed to cause more problems than solutions. The thought of a man cowering down due to the fact that a woman can earn more is a problem of how this fact is viewed. Women have always been perceived of being less of a threat than men. This fact is borne out overtly during the time of slavery in America and continues to this day. Families were torn apart by design and as a show of force in maintaining superiority over us as a race. Old Massah strong armed us to accept acts of this nature as being in the best interest of cornering the free labor market and to weaken the family structure by inflicting pain and suffering to which no man should ever had to endure. When the males were taken from their families this was the start of process that has endured the test of time.

Males never considered themselves strong enough to hold their families together at any cost necessary. If they did so they usually found a rope being put around their necks or ended up being severely beaten to a point of meekness/submission that was guaranteed to be a part of their lives forever.
We need to rethink this out and reclaim our rightful places within the family dynamic and structure. We were taught to hate ourselves and others without a clue as to how we were destroying ourselves in the process. Women have a role to play in the restoration process as they need to encourage the men to lead without any game playing techniques or need to dominate their mate. The fact of having power is not a sin, but the sin is in how that power is utilized. There is nothing wrong with being confident of oneself, but one needs to realize the danger that comes with that type of thinking.

So to all of the sisters out there that are doing it for themselves, please do not fail to remember that you got to that point not only on your own merit, but you had help. It is up to you to acknowledge this fact and to act accordingly. Peace out, Papacool.

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Dianne says:

August 16, 2014 at 8:41 pm

I agree with Mike, some things are comprehensible and the rest is the same ole rhetoric that is said all the time. Please find a way to uplift us, while giving us something to think about.

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Paul says:

August 15, 2014 at 4:49 pm

The very nurturing of the last 15 years seeks to ensure that just to read and understand the sentiment behind the article with give most a headache. Acknowledge the fact that just as in the past the main exploiters will provide a few ‘scumbags’ with wealth on the proviso that they lead YOU to the gutter. Who are you’re leaders?

Those ‘who sold crack to survive’ and know that they absolutely do NOT have to anymore still choose to encourage our kids to under the defence ‘ghetto reporting’ and ‘I was able to provide jobs for my homies who don’t need to do that no more’.
Quote “N#### I hate you, not because I hate you, but because you hate yourself”. If giving jobs to 20 of your homies means you lead 1000 kids to self distraction then f### you! You are and always will be a scumbag. Again who are your leaders, whoever has the biggest bank balance..??

You worship scumbags and call them entrepreneurs. They are the same guys of our own skin tone that managed to convince us to get on the ships 400 years ago. It all started by rapping about what makes us feel insecure and capitalising on it. And that’s who you call a leader. Money seems to blinker a whole races perspective of a scumbag. I hate that my skin is of the same tone.

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Mike says:

August 14, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Man, this article is ALL OVER THE PLACE.
At the end I don’t really understand your point other than you’re angry…..very angry

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