(ThyBlackMan.com) I’m sure anyone who is reading this blog is familiar with the phrase, “YOU ARE THE FATHER!!” A phrase made popular by daytime talk show host Maury Povich, who has reinvented himself in the talk show world in becoming the “Father of the Polygraph,” both figuratively and literally. In one of the longest running daytime talk shows ever (only trialing The Phil Donahue and The Oprah Winfrey Show), The Maury Povich Show is primarily based around married (but mostly unmarried) couples wanting to know via polygraph which partner is being honest when it comes to cheating in their relationship. As if the lie-detector results weren’t good enough, the stories take another explosive turn when children are conceived and the issue of paternity is up for question. As the results come in, the audience and viewers alike are anxiously awaiting the cliffhanger part of the show cleverly advertised as “DNA-Drama.”
In many cases, the man is often viewed by the audience as your typical paramour deadbeat father; all the while the woman is portrayed to be the helpless, yet vociferous in demanding that the alleged father in question step up and “be a Man;” followed by imminent threats of child support. Albeit the accused father is often confirmed by DNA results to be the aforementioned phrase above; however, there have been several situations when the mother has not only made false or ambiguous accusations, but in some instances, she doesn’t even know who the father is at all.
I used the Maury Povich Show as a microcosm on how our society now views a once private, civil matter between two adults; into what is now just another chapter in our drama-filled, attention-whoring, reality TV, crazed American culture. Paternity tests are just an appetizer, if you will, to the main course which is called the Family Court system. Here, the idea of “family” doesn’t necessarily fit well in the minds of the judges because they hide behind legal jargon of what’s in the best interest of the ‘child.’ It is also here where many men find out under the eyes of the law that they aren’t looked upon as fathers; but as indentured servants.
Originally called the Aide to Dependent Children as a part of the Social Security Act of 1935, the genesis of the welfare system was dispensed to white single mothers who had little to no income. It wasn’t until the Civil Rights Movement and the efforts of the National Welfare Rights Organization (NWRO) in the 1960’s, which finally saw government assistance distributed to African-American mothers. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aid_to_Families_with_Dependent_Children).
Now effectively called the Aid to Families with Dependent Children (circa. 1962), the AFDC was again, primarily geared towards welfare families with children. It wasn’t until the 1970’s, when Congress realized the caseload of AFDC had changed significantly. Now, the majority of children needed aid because their parents were separated, divorced, or was never married. The Child Support Enforcement and Paternity Establishment Program (CSE), enacted in 1975, was a response by Congress to reduce public expenditures on welfare by obtaining support from noncustodial parents on an ongoing basis, to help non-AFDC families get support so they could stay off public assistance, and to establish paternity for children born outside marriage so child support could be obtained for them. (http://www.policyalmanac.org/social_welfare/archive/child_support_01.shtml).
That’s it, problem solved…right?
Wrong. A system that was originally designed to help custodial parents (mostly mothers) receive support from non-custodial parents (mostly fathers) has become a way to extort, discriminate and even alienate fathers from their children. You can miss me with the “deadbeat” talk because just like sun, moon and stars; we know they exist. This has more to do with our government needing to amend archaic laws in order that we as fathers have equal parental rights. A system that has fathers sometimes coughing up over half of their income to support their child; and the mother. The state-federal government could care less how the man is to survive and provide for his own livelihood. Yet the best interest of the child, (at times) is for his or hers father to go broke in supporting them? Again, men (for the most part) are not looked to as fathers; rather they’re looked upon as criminals or debtors to the State. I say this because once a child support order is placed on you and you fall behind for whatever reason; the consequences ARE nothing but criminal.
According to legalmatch.com, these are the consequences slaves, I mean fathers, are faced with when children is brought into the picture.
The court could issue a warrant for the arrest of the parent who has missed child support payments. Warrants issued in connection with child support may be classified as either criminal or civil:
- Criminal Warrants: Issued if prosecutors become involved under federal or state laws. This can occur if the parent is severely behind and owes a lot of unpaid support. Criminal warrants are enforceable in any state, not just in the state where it was issued. A criminal arrest can lead to fines, a sentence of one year or greater than one year in jail, or both.
- Civil (“Capias”) Warrants: These warrants are issued when the custodial parent files for contempt of court. Failure to obey a court order is considered contempt of court, which can lead to fines, a short period of time in jail (less than one year), or both.
In addition to the legal penalties described above, failure to pay child support can have other consequences, including:
- Suspension of driver’s license and revoking of driving privileges
- Denial of tax refunds and other government benefits
- Revocation of passport or changes to immigration status
- Garnishment of wages, including unemployment funds or worker’s compensation benefits
- Placing a lien on one’s real property to obtain funds for payment
- Denial of licenses such as hunting or boating licenses
- Lowering your credit score
(http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/consequences-of-not-paying-child-support.html) Not to mention this last and most critical point. Ohio, just like several other states in the U.S., if you get so far behind in your arrears or past due payments, your support order can turn felonious. That’s right American men; you read it correctly, you can become a felon.
Child support, unfortunately, has become yet another extension of the prison industrial complex (PIC), which is used to describe the overlapping interests of government that use surveillance, policing, and imprisonment as solutions to economic, social, and political problems (http://criticalresistance.org/about/not-so-common-language/). Unlike the educational stigma that is usually associated with PIC that is targeted towards young black boys; the child support aspect of it is designed for the father to have little or no access to his child at all. But I guess that’s the court’s interpretation of “the best interest of the child.” Sure ya right Ray, Ray, sure ya right.
Government funded state agencies are making an excess of over a billion dollars a year from child support orders. Back in 2011, the national Census Bureau reports the aggregate amount of child support received was $23.6 billion-from the $37.9 billion which was due. About three-quarters (74.1 percent) of custodial parents who were due child support payments received full or partial payments averaging $3,770 or $315 per month (http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-246.pdf). Even with those numbers, there’s yet another part of the system that is hardly ever divulged. According to Title 42 U.S.C Section 658 (a) of the U.S. Code and Social Security Act, states receive federal reimbursement incentive funding for the amount child support awards, collections, and enforcement. This money is given to the state “without strings attached” and the state puts the funding into the general treasury to balance the budget (http://framedfathers.proboards.com/thread/1251). From the state treasury, there is a direct or indirect correlation between salaries and pensions awarded to judges and state agencies. Not to mention the money attorneys pocket from fathers who have to fight for custody of their own children.
Sadly in 2014, the role of motherhood has become nothing short of a business transaction in which many children are being used as a tool to exploit fathers; all in the name of “support.” The government has also assisted in becoming the woman’s greatest ally and mediator when it comes to having children or not (ahem, Planned Parenthood). Men, this has become a serious issue due to the fact our judicial system has become “feminist” in their legislation when it comes to notion of family. Men, we must also understand that having children (especially if you’re not married) is not a game; it has become a war. There is no excuse nowadays for “us” to be irresponsible; especially when it’s not in our best interest to be.
No longer can we say “I didn’t know it was that consequential,” when in reality you know it is. I’m not against having children; however, I am for equal rights for fathers when it comes to having children. This long, (yes very long) blog is NOT to empower deadbeat fathers; who not only don’t support their children financially, but who are physically absent in their lives. I don’t care if you’re a professional athlete making millions or a guy making minimum wage, the issue of fatherhood is no longer something we can afford to shrug our shoulders at. Fathers, let’s remind our judicial system that we’re more than just a paycheck; but a vital piece to what used to be the ‘American’ family. Peace.
Staff Writer; Jermaine Jacobs
Official website; http://JJermane80.com/
Also may connect with this brother via Twitter; https://twitter.com/Preachjacob.
I dated this woman for nine years when I met her she had two boys one was six and the other was one and a few months. I fell in love with this person who was living with her mom “temporarily” I moved her and the kids into my home and supported them with part of my paycheck every two weeks. That was my choice I get it but I shouldn’t have had too be the only man in these boy’s life we didn’t make it hard for this man too visit his boys we even invited him over as a couple I told him personally that he was welcome in my home any time all he had to do was call first, if he didn’t have a safe place to take them boys he could have sat with them in his car in front of my house if he didn’t feel comfortable in my living room. In nine years he came to see his blood relatives two times when they were baby’s. We never asked for money from him just time and we were a young poor couple that could have used any help at any point a free baby sitter would have been awesome. I asked their mom what happened she said he would come around all the time until the sex stopped then she said she couldn’t make him see why his presence was still needed, and this was hurtful so she stopped trying. I don’t feel sorry for men who are forced by are government to care for their children my tax dollars are needed in other areas of are society. If you make children you have two obligations to them time and money if you refuse for any reason to be a positive influence in you blood relatives life you still can make a contribution to the health of the relatives life by paying your half of the food bill kids eat forget about everything else they eat every day. Some of are black brother’s simply do not care about them self or anything else it’s a very sad reality it sound awful but I have seen it first hand are US. Government can make you love your blood line your relative your son’s but it should and it will make you feed them!!!!
I dated this woman for nine years when I met her she had two boys one was six and the other was one and a few months. I fell in love with this person who was living with her mom “temporarily” moved her and the kids into my home and supported them with part of my paycheck every two weeks. That was my choice I get it but I shouldn’t have had too be the only man in these boy’s life we didn’t make it hard for this man too visit his boys we even invited him over as a couple if he didn’t have a safe place to take them he could have sat with them in his car in front of my house if he didn’t feel comfortable in my living room. In nine years he came to see his blood relatives two times when they were baby’s. We never asked for money from him just time and we were a young poor couple that could have used any help at any point a free baby sitter would have been awesome. I asked their mom what happened she said he would come around all the time until the sex stopped then she said she couldn’t make him see why his presence was still needed, and this was hurtful so she stopped trying. I don’t feel sorry for men who are forced by are government to care for their children my tax dollars are needed in other areas of are society. If you make children you have two obligations to them time and money if you refuse for any reason to be a positive influence in you blood relatives life you still can make a contribution to the health of the relatives life by paying your half of the food bill kids eat forget about everything else they eat every day. Some of are black brother’s simply do not care about them self or anything else it’s a very sad reality it sound awful but I have seen it first hand are US. Government can make you love your blood line your relative
This aricle has some good points and useful information however it is written by a man from his point of view. Not ALL women behave in this fashion and some of us actually would LOVE for the childs father to see said child ANYTIME and be an active participant in the childs life; unfortunately I may be a little jaded because I keep hearing REAL DEADBEAT DADS making the “she won’t let me/she’s turned my child against me” excuse; if you spend enough time and really get to know each other no one could tell them anything about you that they don’t already know……..Praying for all the children caught up in this mess….
This topic is one that deserves in depth discussion from both sides of the fence, male and female. Due to the lack of an effective and efficient method of identifying the correct parentage, this issue has had a devastating effect on our society at large. Common sense would provide that all mother’s who know where their sperm donation came from should provide the donor identification at the time of birth. Especially when in a hospital environment where both parties would have mandatory testing done. This would put all of the mystery away and make shows like Maury obsolete. The embarrassment of having no clue as to who is the paternal donor is one that no one should have to go through. Cases such as rape or sexual abuse would be the exception to this rule, in no identification is possible. I have witnessed firsthand the confusion this issue has caused, wherein several men have been falsely associated with fatherhood without dna testing and have gone through the motion of making child support payments to a child that was not even theirs.
Being in a small town, the existence of this practice is present on a widespread basis. Sex has to be handled in a responsible manner, but the truth of the matter is that people will not have an honest and open discussion on the subject without emotional duress. The woman knows who and when she slept with individuals and should be made to be accountable. The only thing that comes out of these type of situations is the fact that the child becomes a victim of circumstances that may follow them for their entire lifetime. The critical thinking aspect is seriously lacking as people are named as Grandparents as well only to find out that they have been duped. By not seeing the big picture, huge numbers of people end up being involved in a falsehood that could have easily been avoided if the truth was given the reverence that it deserves. History is to blame as well, as people have omitted factual evidence when it came to people of status. For example, we, the black community, know that Thomas Jefferson fathered those children with Sally Hemmings.
But alot of people on the scientific end muddied the water by not giving him the 99.99999 percent credit and inventing the possibility of fatherhood going to Thomas’ brother instead. Now they can picnic together, but no people of color can be buried on the grounds of Monticello. This is insane, where is Oprah, the History Channel, and National Geographic when you need them? LOL. Peace out, Papacool.
I DO NOT view these black females on Maury as victims. When one female has a dozen males tested because she doesn’t know who the father is, she is a whore/ho. Too many black males are fucking these females without protection and without REALLY knowing her. And like Lay’s potato chips, black males can’t/won’t/don’t stop at just one. Black males AND females are energizer bunnies…they keep goin’ and goin’ and goin’. Then when these whores/ho’s take them to court for child support, black males wanna get mad and angry. Sometimes they will take it out on the child(ren). We all know that’s not fair. Black males shouldn’t have produced so many children if they didn’t want the financial burden.
t_99 made a point. He’s teaching his sons that their seeds are valuable. He’s DISCUSSING SEX with his sons. That’s very important because alot of moms and dads don’t talk with their children about sex as if its taboo or shameful. I’ve heard males in their 30’s and older say that their dad or pops told them to “f**k ’em all,” meaning every and any female they lay their eyes on. So when they do as daddy or pops tell them, it shouldn’t be a surprise they get mad and angry about having to “support” the children produced by his blood and sperm. In many cases, these males and females don’t even stay together and remain a couple.
@John Whitehead…maybe you could go to court and request a decrease in your child support. Surely, the judge would understand your situation. PLEASE DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Maybe you can try finding another one that pays more, but don’t the one you have until you do. Wishing you the best.
We need HELP. The Elected Officals won’t help because woman are the number one voters. Give me some advice. I make $1500 a week and because of taxes and child support I take home $250. What am I working for. I lost my apartment and am now homeless. I lived where I was for 28 years.
You can’t whore yourself out to any woman and call it being a playa and not expect to suffer the consequences. Whores get branded both ways. Men lose years of money while women get branded with a scarlet A on their conscious and in the eyes of society for the rest of their lives. Whoredom doesn’t pay.
I have 2 young sons. I tell them all of the time that their seed is just as valuable as a women’s; therefore, they should not just throw it away by having sex with any women who excites them. I have encouraged them to be picky, and to not only consider physical attraction, but also intellect, character, work ethic and other qualities that are needed raise successful children, run a household and build wealth when they come of age. I am having these conversations with them early because they ask my opinion, but also because life is challenging enough without having to split your time, talents and income across multiple households because you have fathered children with multiple women. I have one last point, a mature women does not to just “get your sperm”, she wants your heart and wants to build a home with you. IJS.
I have written a book called the The Child Support Hustle as well as started the Reform Child Support NOW! Movement. To sign the peition and join the movement by visiting http://thechildsupporthustle.com.
Interesting that the boom in single parent households (1970) showed up right after the Summer of Love. Free love ain’t free!
Men, if you don’t want women controlling your time and income, you need to keep your sperm to yourself, by whatever means necessary. One she gets your sperm, she gets your life for the next 18 years. Think about that next time you get caught up in the mood, and then slow it down and think again. It’s really that simple.