Friday, September 22, 2023

Secrets Of The Deflecting Sisterhood.

June 30, 2014 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( As we know the Sisters of Deflection roll deep! In order to become a deflector, here are some roles one must master.

1. The Coy Manipulator- Coy is is defined as:

(Especially with reference to a woman) making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring. *using coy tricks to attract attention*

As women,  we will do things to  deliberately get the attention of men,  but feign ignorance when we get your attention. We are very aware of how the sway of our hips entices you. We know what style of dress gets your attention.

But wait! There’s  more. We know how to manipulate you intellectually and emotionally as well. We will tell you exactly what you want to hear.TheCoy2014

We either whisper seductive or soothing words in your ear. Sometimes it’s a combination of both.  We know exactly what to do and say to invoke the necessary reaction we want from you.

By the time Men realize that something is amiss, that who we presented ourselves to be, isn’t who we really are, you’ve already been caught in our snares, and more than likely, a child has been born.

Most of us were taught how to manipulate men from our Mothers and without their knowledge, the men in our families are our test runs.

So by the time we are grown or young adult women, we have mastered the art of manipulation.

The Coy Manipulator is EXTREMELY slick Brothers. She may come in the form of a conscious, moral or disciplined woman, and all the while could be an undercover vixen or feminist.

2. The Antagonist- As  antagonists, we become your number one enemy. We bait you into arguments. We belittle and disrespect you and dare you to return the favor. We don’t mind poking the hornest’s nest. We question your manhood and promptly disregard it.

We will be very quick to threaten your relationship with your children and your freedom. Please believe that these are NOT veiled threats; we are more than happy to execute everthing we say.

A Bitter Antagonist is one of the worst adversaries because there’s no expiration date on bitterness.

The energizer bunny has NOTHING on a bitter woman. She just keeps going and going…and going. Her goal is to wear you out so you will fold and succomb to her bitter demands.

3. The Warden- When we become your warden, we also become your overseer. Our wombs double as a jail cell for both you and the child or children we conceived together.  Child Support becomes your sentence. We control your freedom and remind you of that any time we deem it necessary. We control the contact/visitation you have with our child. There’s no chance of parole when a Bitter Baby Mama is your warden.

4.  The Unaccountable Victim-   This is the most important role of a Deflector.

No matter how many men we invite in our wombs, we can’t be held accountable.

No matter if  Brother has 3 Baby Mama’s, and we volunteer to be Baby Mama number 4, it’s not our fault.

Just because we chose a man that we know won’t be good for us; whatever happens in the relationship rests soley on his shoulders.

Even when we knowningly use our wombs  for entrapment, it’s the man’s fault for falling for it.

Even when we set out to seduce you, you take the entire blame for partaking in the seduction.

Regardless of our actions, motives and thoughts we are always the victim that are  void of accountabilty.

We are the poor woe is me, strong, independent, Black Woman that got snatched up by the Big Bad Wolf…aka…the Black Man. Po lil tink tinks.

Sounds about right Deflectors? Yall let me know if I missed anything. 

Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.


6 Responses to “Secrets Of The Deflecting Sisterhood.”
  1. Marque-Anthony says:

    Excellent article. We should share ideas sometimes. I have a book on relationships due out later this year, a real book, not a Steve Harvey sell out book.

  2. toomanygrandkids says:

    Great article. Let’s not forget the “sisters,” whether they are related to each other or best of friends, who sleep with their “sister’s” or best friend’s man/husband. The man/husband is just as guilty, but “sister” stabs her own sister and friend in the back. If you ask me, all of these types need to be bitch-slapped just to knock some good sense into their brains. I’m not saying every black woman should be placed in these categories, but there are soooo many who put themselves on the path to cause harm to others.

  3. Mrcasten says:

    You got it sister now only if we can get these miss led guys from putt’n these cookies on the pedestal then we might just have sumthin

  4. katina washington says:

    I feel like I’m being told that I’m a bad mother or women. These statements about manipulation I feel are understated. I was very happy and in love with my partner but, he did not feel the same about me. I was trying to make a relationship that wasn’t never there work. We both made mistakes and i’am sorry for my part in making them, but it does not mean I have a bitter heart and hard cold feelings towards you. I respect what choice you make when the relationship ended and accept it, but it does not mean I now hate you and don’t have love unconditionally for you. I wish women was not being teared down and told that they are using black men so they can run into the arms of women in other cultures to be treated like trash. Yes we can learn to be come the women of God that God himself would want us to be, but it starts with forgiveness and love for ones self and learning how to submit under man who has rule over you.

  5. Peerless Perception says:

    Met all 4 of those Sister.
    Now introduce us to the “Basket Case” or “Krazy Kraz.” *SYBIL*
    You know the one with the BANGIN body, but you failed to notice her pupils stay dilated no matter the lighting conditions.
    She forces a beguiling disposition when she’s introduced to your boys.
    Her behavior is mercurial in the morning or @ least until she comes out of the bathroom.
    She talks incessantly.
    She’s unassuming around your Mom, but she’s the devil incarnate to her own.
    She’s restless through the night, but wakes up refreshed.
    She offers you prophylactics that look to be tampered with.
    You know the one who has more counterintelligence tactics than the NCIS.

  6. Lorenzo Cromartie says:

    I love you views! Please continue to expose and shed light on the true reasons why women and men are having failures in relationships and marriages. You the first that I’ve come across that is not bias. Love your articles and I look forward to read more of you work.

    Lorenzo Cromartie, Sr

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