Can men and women be in a platonic relationship?

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Let me put it this way, if such a man exist I have not met him yet. For auguement sake, let us define platonic relationship before we really make up our minds whether or not it’s possible to be just friends with a guy.  In the dictionary a platonic relationship is define as, “a pure, spiritual affection, subsisting between persons of opposite sex, unmixed with carnal desires, and regarding the mind only…”  Frankly speaking, I have never met a man who did not want to have canal experiences with me, and I’m no Halle Berry.  

More importantly,  I read that a “New research suggests that there may be some truth to this possibility—that we may think we’re capable of being “just friends” with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for “romance” is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment.” Need I say more? 

Many including myself have debated the conundrum of platonic relationships between men and women. I remember a while back my girlfriends and I got into it when she mentioned that she had not seen her best ‘guy’ friend in a long time.  Never one to shy away from a irrefragable topic I made a comment that I did not believe a man and a woman can be in a platonic relationship.  Of course they both disagreed with me, and accused me of being crazy.African American couple drinking in nightclub  Their only argument was: if you want to know about men, you ask a man. That may be true to some degree, and I will admit that I did get some good advise from Steve Harvey’s book: Act  Like a Lady Think  Like a Man, but let’s not forget a man will be a man, and given the chance he will sleep with you.  
 
Again its always in the back of his mind.  Furthermore,  I know from experience that these types of ‘friendship’ relationships never last.  As a matter fact, we have redefined the meaning of platonic relationships. Many now refer to it as  ‘friends with benefits.’  Truthfully speaking, I prefer that over the false pretense that we are in a platonic relationship ‘unmixed with carnal desires.’ At least we are honest with each other.   
 
To make my point,  let me tell you what Chris Rock said during one of his comedy skit about guys who end up in platonic relationships with girls. He said, the guy who finds himself in a platonic relationship with a girl is the guy you could not close the deal. In other words, he couldn’t get the ‘cookie’ (read Steve’s book) out of the cookie jar.  He described two ways a guy finds himself in a so called ‘platonic relationship’ with a girl. One, the relationship got to a point where the girl decided she did not want to sleep with him, and ruin a potential friendship.
 
To put it differently, she’s just not that into him.  And two, the guy who stays in a platonic relationship with a girl is the guy who still thinks he has a chance to close the deal. Yes, indeed.  
 
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with starting a relationship with a guy as a friend that could potentially grow into a romantic relationship, because it’s always a bonus to marry your best friend.  However, I feel that can only take place if both parties are clear on what their intentions are.  Still, I believe it’s unrealistic, and a bit naive to think that a ‘guy’ friend has no interest in sleeping with you no matter how you define your relationship.  Unless of course, you are not his cup of tea. 
 
 
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Staff Writer; Kency Desmangles
 
One can also connect with this sister via Facebook; K. Desmangles.
 
 

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