(ThyBlackMan.com) Fleeting snippets of news sound bites declaring the horrors faced by the three women allegedly forcibly kidnapped and forced to live with their captors for 10 + years have been over all the networks and especially the national news aka cable news outfits.
In all that I have heard and read – I have yet to hear or see mention of the BDSM aspects of the situation that continue to come out on a consistent basis. It is somewhat amusing to hear the horrific conditions described that include obvious BDSM elements but nothing being said about that. Allowing the public via main stream media to shape the discourse on this always winds up rather badly. It is especially interesting in light of the popularity of the whole “50 Shades of Gray” phenomenon that has taken off.
Police negligence aside, reports of women being “forced to crawl around naked in the back yard with leashes and collars on” and descriptions of chains and other restricting devices being found on the premises where the women were found speak all kinds of volumes. Apparently, no one has the balls enough to speak on it though. One of the conundrums of those who engage in BDSM or “lifestyle” related activities is because of the “stigma” usually associated with those engaging in such activities; many people will not publicly acknowledge those activities or their involvement. This is the true tragedy of situations like this because things like this happen not only because no one acted – namely the police department. They also happen because secrets are kept and people don’t speak.
Clear point to make this situation is neither the fault of nor indicative of those who wish to engage in Ds/Ms or related activities. As with most things you are always going to have someone who takes things too far or who is on some other agenda altogether but uses something and twists it unrecognizably for their own purposes.
The faux prudes who tsk tsk and say this is the fault of those people are the same people who think Gays and Lesbians are evil abominations etc. and so on. Meanwhile, many of those same “moral activists” who condemn anything outside of their definition of normalcy are hanging out at the dungeons and clubs decked out in latex.
To the 50 Shades of Grey people, this stuff like anything else is not all fun and games and personal responsibility as always is of tantamount importance. Understanding what you are getting involved in as well as WHO you are getting involved with still is important and probably even more so in today’s society. There are predators out there that are seeking and their involvement in the lifestyle is more of a sidebar. Take note this is not a lifestyle “thing” this is “I am a sick predator who likes teens” thing.
One thing is for sure, living in the closet and keeping secrets never usually winds up leading to anything good. Being who you are and living the way you choose is the real freedom. I am so sure there are a “few” people out here who can relate to That analogy….
But ya’ll aint hearin’ me though…..
Staff Writer; Alinda Pete
For more articles feel free to visit; The Good Black Woman.
One may also connect with this talented sister via twitter; BlkPhoenix66.
Alinda stated in the comment of May 10 that
“The article is not a research paper – it is an opinion and observation piece.”
In this comment, you did not provide documentation that you have stated in your article that “…the public via main stream media” shaped the discourse on this topic.
By simply not providing documentation to support what you wrote in your article, I must conclude that this “opinion and observation piece” states something that you are unable to verify as factual. If so, please label this as something other than either a news analysis or an observation pieces, since the essence of quality journalism, that statements that are made as fact are checked and, in many cases, two sources are used in order to confirm these as fact appears to have not been done with respect to your statement on the public shaping the discourse on this topic in the mainstream media.
So why bother writing the article? Give your experience with the lifestyle, to what ever degree and then give an opinion. This is why the Internet is only good for shopping, directions and banking. Otherwise it’s just a sounding board for what ever whimsy goes through a persons head.
It is amusing from the perspective that many of those reporting and listening have engaged in or are engaging in lifestyle activities so it is akin to the elephant in the room…
It is more interesting because many people picked up 50 shades of grey thinking that it was the “lifestyle” gospel when it is another work of fiction however in the instance of this series of books it has engendered interest in the lifestyle and many have ventured forth into it purely based on what the book says.
The article is not a research paper – it is an opinion and observation piece. Clearly for some reason you have found a way to take offense in spite of the fact that the article in its totality was not a condemnation of the lifestyle or related activities. Since the article was not written in that vein nor was it purposefully targeting you personally, the vitriol is somewhat out of place. It is also a wasted opportunity to discuss that which is what was put forward in the article, namely how there are BAD APPLES EVERYWHERE
I would prefer to have an open and frank discussion on the merits of your article than debating my reading comprehension.
While I concur that “Take note this is not a lifestyle ‘thing”’and that this is a tragic example of ‘I am a sick predator who likes teens’ thing,” you also wrote:
“It is somewhat amusing to hear the horrific conditions described that include obvious BDSM elements but nothing being said about that. Allowing the public via main stream media to shape the discourse on this always winds up rather badly. It is especially interesting in light of the popularity of the whole “50 Shades of Gray” phenomenon that has taken off..”
I would like to understand the logic behind this statement. For starters kidnapping, imprisonment, and psychological and physical abuse are not “BDSM.” A rapist of children who does so repeatedly and instills tremendous fear in them is not practicing BDSM. He is an absolutely evil man. Secondly, please present here ANY documentation that you have that “…the public via main stream media” shaped the discourse on this topic. If you cannot provide adequate this documentation, it will be quite apparent that you are stating as fact something that is unsupported by documentation and that your contention that the mainstream media made decisions on the basis of the shaping of the discourse on this topic.
So, can you support what you have stated as fact?
The difficulty that people have to “…publicly acknowledge those activities or their involvement [with consensual BDSM]” is, in most cases, quite logical. Individuals who engage in consensual BDSM activities have, as a consequence of this information coming “out”, lost their jobs, had their children taken from their homes, and prosecuted. Please see the data for 2011 of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom at https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response-reports/item/692-2011-incident-reporting-response-report.html
You state that “…living in the closet and keeping secrets never usually winds up leading to anything good. Being who you are and living the way you choose is the real freedom..” Unfortunately, secrecy, when the consequences of being open about one’s sexual preferences may result in a real risk of such life-altering occurrences, demonstrates that the majority of individuals who engage in consensual BDSM cannot be open and do not have “real freedom.”
Apparently reading comprehension is a lost and dying art. As is being un-objectively rude has become a badge of honor or something one should aspire to particularly online.
The anonymity of being able to hide behind a computer screen gives some people the mistaken belief that they are more than what they really are.
I clearly made the distinction between a BDSM relationship between two
consenting adults vs. what transpired in Cleveland. Apparently you missed that in your rush to post an ill-conceived response.
There are predators in all areas of life and that point was made also. The article’s perspective was cautionary for those who should exercise caution in whatever interactions they have vanilla or otherwise.
The difference between having a loving relationship that incorporates elements of BDSM in which there is consent, the activities that the two people engage in are safe, and this horrific criminal case of multiple kidnappings, physical abuse, and both physical and psychological torture is night and day. To even compare the two indicates a lack of your understanding of the very real distinction between a criminal who is absolutely evil and kidnapped children as opposed to the closeness that two people can share as they explore any number of sexual interests in a close and loving relationship.
Chains and ropes are tools that the criminal used, along with violence and the threat of additional violence, to keep these women imprisoned. That is not consensual BDSM. It is criminal.
Finally, this is yet another example of a badly researched and poorly written “article” that is on the internet under the guise of objectively assessing the limitations of the mainstream media. I would urge you to learn more, conduct research on each topic that you are planning to write about, and then proceed to analyze what you have found during this process. By doing so you will ascend from a poor blogger who relies on the superficial to a journalist.
Yeah the Cleveland kidnappings really puts these things into perspective. I am so disgusted now for anything BDSM related and I was a HUGE fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. I read all the books, was excited for the movie, now I am just so sickened. Like this stuff isn’t entertainment, it’s not true love. Sick just sick…