(ThyBlackMan.com) Many well meaning, yet, misguided parents don’t have a clue as to what motivates children today to do what they do. In my first book, I discussed 10 things teachers wished parents would do to make education relative in the 21st century. Today, I’d like to offer some insights, or parent to parent advice. My Christian values tell me that the 3 forces that work against parents is, “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life” (1 John 2:16). We can no longer tell children do as I say, not as I do.
Sins of the parents will inevitably be passed on to the child. Smoking, drinking, gambling, late-night escapades all take a toll on family ties and how children see you-as a parent you are your child’s first teacher! A parent must set a positive example. As the first teacher of your child, you must believe 
in them and express it in terms they can relate to and understand. You are the bridge to success in “their world.” Lessons learned by parents by way of trial and error have gone into the development of my recent book: Not All Teachers Are Parents, But All Parents Are Teachers! In it I talk about the do’s and don’ts of parenting.
When I speak as a parent, I say-you can do it! When I speak as a teacher, I say we are both a part of the solution, specifically as it relates to minimizing the effects of black on black crime, disruptive school behavior, premarital and casual sex, degrading lyrics in rap and popular music, etc. The good news is when parents model good behavior, children follow suit. What loving and caring parent would tell a child?…
a. Have as much sex as you want, just don’t get pregnant.
b. It’s ok to steal, just don’t get caught.
c. If someone hits you, hit them back.
d. If they play a song on the radio, it must be ok to listen to.
My mission here is not to invite controversy. Yet, my nightmare as a teacher and mentor is responding to kids who have told me this kind of discussion is readily practiced by their parent(s). The fact of the matter is: If you don’t drink, your kid won’t drink (40’s, Bud, Corona, pretty umbrella drinks included). If you don’t smoke, your kids won’t smoke (cigarettes, pot, etc.). If you don’t gamble, your kids won’t gamble (the boat, bingo, lottery, off-track betting, etc.).
If you have small children and a live-in boyfriend on the “child predator list,” you are courting disaster. If you practice your faith in the church of your choice-your child will do likewise. As a teacher my research has concluded that there is an emotional and physical drain parental relationships (baby mama/daddy drama) place on school age children. As a consequence, this stifles and bogs down children’s ability to project themselves in a positive way even in cases where economics (money) is not a hindering factor.
All children need a “coach” with a view to a loving, kind, stable and disciplined home environment in order to reach their maximum academic potential and become productive members of society: your children are no exception! Please bear in mind this information is designed to encourage and enlighten not to convict. There are social service agencies in and around the communities in Urban America that can assist if you or someone you know is grappling with one of the issues referenced above.
Staff Writer; Stanley G. Buford
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