(ThyBlackMan.com) I was talking to a very close Sister of mine, and during the course of our conversation, we both felt that it seems among the Sisterhood, we can’t say we love the Black Man without receiving some sort of backlash from Black Women. In order for our Sisters to love us, we have to hate HIM. If we speak of the flaws and destructive behavior that we as Black Women have adapted its “throwing our Sisters under the bus“, but apparently it’s OK to throw him under the bus, then run him over. Whenever accountability of the Black Woman is mentioned, deflection always makes its presence known. I am always being told that I should speak more on fatherless homes, unemployed Black Men, uneducated Black Men……you know the usual he ain’t *** subjects.
These issues are talked about EVERYDAY, but when the contribution the Black Woman has made to the current state of the Black Family is mentioned, it’s a problem. It becomes well “we” should all work together. Really, because 
a minute ago it was all “he should do this, “he should do that”, “he abandoned his family“, He…He…HE….and now when the mirror is held up to us, it becomes “we“. It can’t become “we” until BOTH look at self.
The Black Woman says she has been proudly holding it down right…….so has that worked out for us? Teenage pregnancy and abortions are at an all-time high, our sons are being mis-educated and neglected, and by the hands of OUR negligence, they grow up to be the uneducated men we tell our daughters to stay away from, but we stood and WATCHED them be mis-educated and did NOTHING about it. Oh I forget, we only want to take credit for the GOOD things that happen in our community all that is negative, has nothing to do with us, we have contributed nothing right?
So there are no children being told that their father is no good from the mouths of the mothers’ right? So there are no children that are being told that their father abandoned them, but didn’t make mention of how he might have been PUSHED away. So there are no Black Men, being handcuffed by the child support system right? There are no Black Women that say they don’t need a man for anything right? There are no Black Women that speak to Black Men in a tone that COMPLETELY kills their spirit right? There are no Black Women that will HELP a man work for self, but will blast him if he doesn’t have a job right? Again, if the Black Woman is completely innocent, if she has done no wrong, and everything that is negative in our community falls on the shoulders of Black Men……..who in the HELL gave BIRTH to them? Whose wombs did these so called no good men come from?
This is not about playing the Blame Game, but it is about us as women, saying, you know what? We HAVE contributed to the destruction of the Black Family. We HAVE at times perpetuated the agenda of our enemy. We HAVE consistently exercised destructive behavior. I would like us to be honest enough to acknowledge that, WITHOUT saying, but it was because the Black Man____(fill in the blank.)
It seems that we are unable to admit our faults and flaws without diverting the attention BACK to the Brothers. We often speak of Black Men and the need for them to come and take back their Woman and communities, and we say this as if it is an easy task. Sure Black Man, come whisk your counterpart from the folds of our common enemy. The same enemy that fed her, clothed her, housed her and mis-educated her, come on and get her back. If Black Men attempted to reclaim us all, how many would follow him? How many would submit to him? How many would recognize him as the head?
You all remember that song by Silk da Shocker “It ain’t my fault?”
Check the chorus only “It aint my fault” is this now the mantra of the Black Woman? Our slave master had access to me much longer than the Black Man but the current state of the Black Family….”it aint my fault“. I along with many others have been placed under an illusion of independence, and I have said I don’t need you, yet I don’t understand why you don’t feel needed or appreciated, but hey “it ain’t my fault”. I have continued this cycle with generations of daughters, and it all started when the slave master placed his seeds of dissension in my womb…….but the current state of the Black Family….”it aint my fault“…… our sons are failing in school under DESIGN…..but “it aint my fault“, my three year old daughter can pop that thang better than Beyonce, and not only do I encourage her, but I am the one who TAUGHT her, not thinking that I am teaching her to use her body to attract men, but hey “it ain’t my fault“.
My daughter watches me collect child support checks, so when she grows up she wants to follow in my footsteps and be a Child Support Hustler, just like her mother…..but the state of the Black Family….”it aint my fault“…..though I am the Mother of Civilization……I only CLAIM the good children……those trifling, shiftless, lazy children…..oh that is from that tainted seed from the Father of Civilization because my womb is perfection….. the state of the Black Family….”it aint my fault“, though I successfully perpetuate the agenda of our enemy….”it ain’t my fault“.
All this is because you failed me Black Man, even though you were stripped of your manhood, killed, beaten and taken away from your family, I was made to hate you and produce children that hate you, and I hate anyone that sees the God in you instead of the n** in you like I was taught and even though I have been placed on a pedestal, being granted access to “higher education” and better jobs than you, all designed to make me look down on you from this makeshift throne our common enemy placed me on……all that goes on in the Black Community…shiiddddd “it aint my fault“. Sounds about right?
The Black Family/Community will never be restored, until the BLACK WOMAN is restored, and part of that restoration process MUST include accepting accountability for our role regarding the current state and condition of the Black Family.
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.