(ThyBlackMan.com) A number of newsworthy events have transpired within the past week that have shaken our confidence in parents and children of urban, uncultured hood rats, as some see them. Take another look. But by the grace of God, some of us would see our own reflection. How many of you have subscribed to the notion that, “It takes a village to raise a child,” or better yet, “let the change begin with me.” Please do not misinterpret what I am saying here to conclude that youth violence, parent apathy or black on black crime in general is acceptable in urban centers (New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Detroit etc.) of America, however, my next question would be, “What have you done personally to stem the tide of violence?”
As stated in the title of my recently published book, Not All Teachers Are Parents, But All parents Are Teachers! Parents serve as “role models” sometimes by default and are, at all times, worthy of expressing and receiving empathy. It is an acquired art and not to be confused with sympathy. 
Rather, it is the ability to be “in touch” with other members of the human race—the only race in our quest for distinction as parents in a progressive society. Empathy then is the ability to put us in someone else’s position. As a parent, for example through empathy, we can begin to feel and understand another’s pain or pleasure, as well as their misfortune. As a democratic society, we must recognize the importance of having a high degree of empathy for low income and disadvantaged youths whose parents may not have the capability to deal with challenges and opportunities that some of us take for granted. Some parents, for example, are not in control of the forces, culturally and economically, that bind them.
As a product of the North Lawndale community, I have seen it change for the better and worse. After graduating college I turned down numerous lucrative job offers in the private sector in order to “give back to my community.” I decided to teach in the inner city simply because there was a need. Frustration sets in for me when violence takes the life of an aspiring young Chicago Public Schoolstudent and the mayor asks the thought provoking question, where were the parents of the perpetrator? Knowing the whereabouts of delinquent, unrepentant or non performing parents will not solve the problem of violence, crime or disruptive behavior in and of itself. A better question would be, “Have we done as much as we can as a society to help them hone their parenting skills? Literacy for wayward parents is the predominant equalizing factor, in my view.
Parents of children enrolled in schools in urban centers through out America play an important role in a child’s development, education, and general well-being. Although these children may have come from homes that are culturally, socially, or economically disadvantaged, parents must realize that they are guaranteed access, by law, to a free and worthwhile education in our nation’s public school systems, whether they are homeless, living in shelters, or any of a number of other transitional living arrangements. This includes parents with high school diplomas or GED’s with children who are in elementary, middle, or high school. If you are a parent that never finished high school, you can still better yourself and your child by setting high goals through the schools and a host of community based social-service agencies. A faith based perspective is a great start, however, nothing ventured, nothing gained! Parents are the guiding light for the success or failure of their children.
The research that has proven this point was part of the background used in my book, Not All Teachers Are Parents, But All Parents Are Teachers! The research also tells us that dysfunctional and broken families are least likely to be successful if there is no system in place to address the problems facing parents raising children in urban America.
The next time you see or hear of a problem perpetrated by youth in the community don’t ask where is the parent? Ask yourself “What more can I do to affect a positive solution?
Staff Writer; Stanley G. Buford
Feel free to connect with this brother via Twitter; Stanley G. and also facebook http://www.facebook.com/sgbuford.
