(ThyBlackMan.com) Black Patriarchy & Womanism…
I was reflecting on two things:
1) Why I identify as Black feminist and womanist,
2) Angie Stone’s song “Brotha”.
Womanism as defined by Alice Walker who coined the term can be found here:
“A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually. Appreciates and prefers women’s culture, women’s emotional flexibility (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter), and women’s strength. Sometimes loves individual men, sexually and/or nonsexually. Committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female. Not a separatist, except periodically, for health.
If this is part of the definition of womynism, I wonder why so many womyn, particularly heterosexual women, seem to forget that the womynist is “committed to the survival and wholeness of the entire people, male andfemale” (and non-gender binary/genderqueer, where’s that?).
Black feminist and womanist are IDs that are oftentimes used interchangeably, but this what I thought the difference was: 
The Black feminist, I feel, is not caught up in her love and appreciation of the Black man, she is not caught up in love period though criticizes because she loves. The Black feminist is unyielding in her criticism of the abusive and subjugating system of Black male patriarchy. The Black feminist does not overlook intersectionality. The Black feminist does not turn to whites and she does not turn to other womyn or people of color for their opinions about and interpretations of her life but looks at her own life experiences for the truth and for validation.
But looking at the definition of womanism now, I kinda don’t see that much of a difference. However, I wonder how it came to be that love is somehow interchangeable with blind devotion, which is what I feel Angie Stone’s song “Brotha” exhibits? I don’t think Alice Walker meant blind devotion and slavishness when she talks about “loving individual Black men”, I think that this wording was very intentional: meaning you don’t have to love all men and the things they do to be a womanist. Why make the distinction?
Black men’s track record with embracing feminism and supporting and understanding Black women today remains unimpressive to me. I view them overall as a group dedicated to achieving white male power or as close to it they can get.
I used to really like Angie Stone’s song. Now I give the extreme side-eye whenever I think about it or cross it on my little mp3 player. Not only is the extremely heterosexist, it starts off as follows:
“He is my King, He is my one Yes he’s my father, Yes he’s my son I can talk to him, cuz he understands Everything I go through and everything I am That’s my support system, I can’t live without him The best thing since sliced bread, Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch And I just want the whole world to know, about my [chorus]
This song is just one in a long line of soul and R&B songs by both male and female artists that posits Black wimmin as slavishly devoted to Black men, no matter what they do, creating this ideal image of Black men’s relationships to Black wimmin.
So no, Angie Stone, I will not be professing my love of Black men in neo-soul lyrical ballad even if it is true that within this need for justice, within this anger and hurt I truly do love my people, including the men who participate in oppressing me. Even if there are a few “good ones”, I have yet to meet any of them.
No Angie Stone, I will not be calling any man who does not view me as his equal ‘my king’.
No Angie Stone, I will not claim the man who abandoned my twin sister and I when we were three and did nothing to help us.
No Angie Stone, I will not give Black men credit for “understanding me” when for the majority of them, this is the furthest thing from the truth.
No Angie Stone, I do not want the whole world to know that Black men and their sons have talked down to me, called me angry, bitter, a bitch, a ho, a chickenhead, a piece of meat, some rip, hostile, ugly, less than women of other races. I do not want the whole world to know that Black men have shamed me, for speaking up for myself and others, because of my hair and because of my weight. I do not want the whole world to know that though I would prefer to be with a man of my own race, I do not want many of them because they do not want me for I will not place my head beneath their foot and because I do not have the coveted “Latina booty” and complexion, “Asian petiteness”, straight or curly “white girl hair”, a tiny waist, or other markers of the erotic and exotic. No I do not want to tell the whole world that Black men do not admire and respect my intelligence and spirit and they value Black children in so far as they serve a utility or resemble white children with good hair.
No Angie Stone, he is not my support system and I will continue to survive and live despite his efforts to destroy me and in doing so destroy himself.
Staff Writer; Shannon Rucker
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