(ThyBlackMan.com) I recently saw a picture on facebook that had the following words: “If you wouldn’t make her a wife then don’t make her a mother.” I got the message, but to me this yet again another escape from accountability as women. “Make” Really? Make? My perspective is, “If he isn’t willing to MAKE you his wife, then DON’T be WILLING to be his “baby mama!” For some reason I could not get past the word “make“, and upon further reflection, the question became how can a man “make” you something that YOU’RE volunteering to BE? Oh yes volunteer is the correct word. If we lay down with a man, and he is NOT your husband, and you have sex with him, you are VOLUNTEERING to be the mother of his child, since we know conception is a possibility when sex takes place.
I appealed to your lower nature. I had sex with you and didn’t make marriage a requirement. I continue to have sex with you and still don’t make marriage a requirement. I decide that I’m going to have your baby, and again we still aren’t married because again, I didn’t make it a requirement, you leave me. But everything is ALL YOUR FAULT! See how FOOLISH that sounds Sisters?
Why do we as women want men to take 100% responsibility for what takes place in OUR wombs? I am specifically speaking on those that we sent an invitation and gave an all access pass to to. Why is that everyone ELSE has to accept the consequences of our decisions and actions? WE make the CONSCIOUS decision of who we allow inside our bodies. A man can NOT come in unless WE allow him too.
Contrary to what you heard, read or what your Girlfriends told you, no matter how you drop it, flip it and rotate it; that does NOT guarantee marriage. All it guarantees is that you will have had sex with a man that is NOT your husband. Let’s stop using our wombs as a down payment for marriage.
When a man is ready for a wife, he is more focused with how he works her MIND above anything else, While he understands that in her womb is where his legacy will be cultivated, he also understands that in her MIND is where his legacy will be conceived.
So Sisters, the power of choice is with us. We can either chose to be a “baby mama’, a “jump off”, a “side piece”, a “mistress” or we can chose to be a WIFE. Instead of telling him “if he liked it he should have put a ring on it……how about we LOVE ourselves ENOUGH to make that ring a REQUIREMENT?
****The Lesson: Our Wombs, Our choices, Our RESPONSIBILTY so we must OWN ACCOUNTABILTY***
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.
As a single mother of one I totally agree. Yes it takes two, but we women are in control of bodies. Both men and should be held accountability.
Let’s stop using our wombs as downpayments for marriage. Hardcore reality~
This article is 100% true, too many black women love to blame EVERYTHING on the man. Can’t wait to see the tidal wave flood of negative comments from black women that will come from this.
Excellent article!
Bravo Sista! I salute you for speaking the truth on this topic. I hope that other sistas will stop this destructive cycle and be more selective and responsible when having kids with a man.
Thank you. TRUTH, sista!