Daddy’s Little Girl…

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She walks around with no direction/no protection/ You left Her after  conception/looking for the love that You never gave Her/so with words it’s easy for men to sway Her/She gives up Her body so easily/so willfully/asking why didn’t He love me/Is it because I look like Her/Talk like Her/But I’m not just not just Her/I’m also Him/She tries to fill the void you left with Him and Them/You never gave Her kisses or happy birthday wishes/You never taught her the rules of the game/Instead, you let her play Herself/She never knew Her value or Her wealth/Now She’s reckless/All because you were selfish/Didn’t show Her She was a princess that would evolve into a Queen/Didn’t give her the criteria needed to chose her King/So all She knows are Jokers and Slick Talkers/Could have been anything/But She’s a Street Walker/In Her journey you are Her destination/She wants an explanation/Why you left her out here in this cold cold world/Why She never got to know what it felt like to be Daddy’s Little Girl/

I read an excerpt from an article, and where the advice given was “Don’t ever marry a woman that doesn’t have a father because she will have no clue how to treat a man”. As I sat there, I thought “well that would eliminate  almost every woman in our community, because unfortunately so many of us grow up without our Fathers.  After reading that, I began to reflect on my own relationship with my father. As a young girl making a transition to a young woman, it was very hard not having my Father in my life. Fathers serve as the first relationship a female has with a man, and they set a certain standard regardless if they are in their daughter’s life or not. Fathers can be “present” in the lives of their daughters but not necessarily “active”.  Regarding my father, he rejected me because my Mother ended their marriage and because she didn’t want to have anything to do with him; he decided that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

When a young girl experiences rejection from her father, she has a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places, because she is seeking validation. Rejection is a hell of emotion to deal with, especially when the person that rejects you is your father. I have been so disappointed by him so many times, that I have built a wall of protection around myself from him because I can’t trust him, yet even at thirty-three I still yearn to be a “daddy’s girl”. I watched “The Braxton’s Family Values” show last week, and I saw how Trina’s face lit up when her father came to her graduation, and I thought….again..every woman yearns for that.

My father has another daughter, that I have never met (not due to a lack of effort on HER part) she is older than me and has children of her own. My father has ALWAYS been in her life, and that has affected me as well. I struggle with “what makes her better than me”, even though my father decided to be in her life instead of mine, it still stings a little. I have resentment towards her, and I know it’s not fair, but I am finding it hard to face her or even meet her, because I feel like looking at her will show me everything that’s wrong with me, why I wasn’t good enough to love and have a relationship with. Why don’t my children know their grandfather? Why can’t I call my father up, and hear love in his voice instead of a callous tone?

I struggle with him not being able to separate his relationship with my mother from me, I have NOTHING to do with that, yet I am the one that suffered. I have attempted to speak with him regarding my feelings but he refuses to listen. I have two daughters and in a point in their lives, their fathers were not in their lives, and I felt like they were subject to repeat a cycle, until I got remarried and my husband is giving my daughters what I never had, so I am grateful for that.

To all my Brothers, I am making a PERSONAL appeal to you. If you have a daughter, please be a positive example for them, regardless if you are with her mother or not. Don’t leave them susceptible to wolves in sheep’s clothing. Teach her what to look for in REAL man so they won’t have to rely on street courses. Be the type of man that you would want her to marry. Too many daughters are fatherless. Right now there is a young lady being pimped out, because she is looking for love. Right now a young lady is lying on her back hoping the man on top of her will be the one to love her, as she offers him her womb for validation. Don’t have your daughter seek that which you refuse to give her. If both parents are required to conceive, then both parents are required to cultivate. Peace.

Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad

To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.